I JUST GOT BACK FROM SKIING, AND BOY ARE MY LEGS TIRED

I went skiing yesterday for the first time in over a year, at Windham Mountain in the Catskills. It was as crowded as I've ever seen it (with French Canadians, Germans, Russians and Eastern Europeans, oddly enough), and although it was quite enjoyable the simple act of walking is a chore today. The old cliché is "you'll use muscles you never knew you had", but that doesn't begin to describe my pain; I feel like I used muscles that I DON'T EVEN HAVE. Or maybe I left some muscles on the mountain, or possibly I just used those muscles that hate me. Whatever it is, going down a flight of stairs makes my quads feel like they're being stabbed with tiny invisible daggers.

Skiing is nothing but a controlled fall down a frozen mountain, a constant battle pitting you and friction versus the laws of gravity. In light of this it helps to have confidence in your ability and your equipment, and since I have very little in the former, I bought myself a new pair of the latter. I tend to hold on to things as long as they continue to work, despite advances in technology. Until recently, I had a TV that was over 25 years old that was encased in a floor standing faux-wood cabinet, and actually had a knob. Hey, it still worked fine, why ditch it? I thought this way about my old straight skis as well which I bought in high school. All I can say is: wow, ski technology has come a long way. Here is the description for the new skis I purchased:

Head iXRC 800: Our six-speed sequential sports car for the kind of rider who is used to waiting for his friends at the bottom of the lift.

That's right, suckers! I haven't quite found all six speeds yet, but oh boy, do they know me! Actually I'm more the "kind of rider who is used to trying not to kill himself". The skis also apparently feature "Intelligence Technology" (meaning I don't have to think at all) and "Liquidmetal Technology" (which sounds like it would be really messy and difficult to ski on). Regardless of the asinine product description, these new curved skis actually do what I want them to, whereas the old ones had to think about it for a few seconds before moving in the direction I was trying to point them. (Maybe they ARE intelligent after all.)

Like golf, skiing is not a cheap pastime. Long gone are the days of $10 lift tickets that include a coupon for free hot chocolate; a day of skiing at Windham for an adult is now an astonishing $61 (this is easily more than a 25% increase from 2 years ago). While I understand that some of this money goes into snowmaking and refurbishing the base lodge (which I never actually stepped foot in), it certainly wasn't used to pave the parking lot, the vast majority of which is a muddy disaster area. However, thank god for Liftopia.com, who resells lift tickets for some of the major ski resorts at a discount, who only charged $25. This the best (non-porn/non-hockey) website I've found so far this year.

Now please excuse me while I attempt to hobble out to my car.

FIRST SNOW OF THE SEASON

Hey, it's an excuse to post my first picture taken with the new SD1000 camera: SNOW!

Okay, that's not all that impressive, I know. Even though it was only about 1 inch here in the lowlands of New City barely covering the leaves in the backyard, it at least looks white and wintry around here. We didn't get any appreciable snowfall until Jan 19th last winter. Today was a cold day too, never getting above freezing. Global warming, my ass.

BLIZZARD 007: LICENSE TO CHILL!

This massive snowstorm didn't quite pan out the way they thought it would. As of now, we have about 1" of ice pellets on the ground. Oh joy.

This is what I have to say to this stupid storm:

SNOW JOKE

I was going on my daily "wog" the other night, and goddammit it's been cold lately. Ever since that dumb Western Pennsylvanian rat didn't see his shadow and declared we'd have an early spring, it THE TEMPERATURE HASN'T BEEN ABOVE FREEZING. We might as well be on the ice planet Hoth, for cripes sake.

As I was walking and the frigid winter breeze was cutting through my skull like an icy dagger, I was wondering what the warmest hat would be: 1) an animal fur hat (preferably not rat), 2) a fleece ski cap, 3) one of those postal worker hats with the ear flaps. I don't know, but I'm going to have to go with the ratless hat. I'm not a big fan myself, but what's the big deal about fur coats? If the animal dies of natural causes, or gets hit by a truck, is it then okay to use the fur? (By the way, if you buy a coat that contains "faux fur" there's a chance that it's made with dog hair, possibly from losing Puppy Bowl contestants. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

In my opinion, all this cold weather isn't worth it unless there's some snow, and it looks as if it might come soon (maybe for my birthday). The people of Oswego County, NY, right along the eastern shore of Lake Ontario, don't want to hear the four letter "s" word: some towns got OVER 100" this week. And an area of Russia got ORANGE snow last week. So just 6-12" of the white stuff is not that bad after all.

FINALLY, SNOW!

The snow is finally here!

You know me, when it snows I get giddy like a school boy on summer vacation with a 40 pound bag of Twizzlers. I didn't think it would happen, after it was 70° back on January 6th. The first flakes of the season came yesterday evening, in the form of an uninspiring dusting. However, I woke up to pretty heavy snowfall this morning, and we maybe have 1" on the ground. Better yet, it's sticking to the roads and there's just enough to test out the RAV4 4x4 (very nice). Of course, I now have a flashing dashboard warning light with an annoying beeping thing that tells me that I'm sliding. No shit! You'd have to be dead not to feel your tires slipping, thanks for the heads up!

Anyway, it's nice to see some snow for a change. If you don't like it, move to Alabama and stop complaining in my ear.