WRIST SHOTS: GAYVERY'S DOUCHEBAGGERY AND SPORTS HEAD GAMES

I couldn't let this week go by without mentioning Sean Avery's visit to the New York City area, this time as an overpayed member of the Dallas Stars. Now the enemy, they (for some reason) booed him in his old prancing grounds, Madison Square Garden, and taunted him when he was checked to the ice. He was similarly heckled at the Prudential Center when he refused to fight David "Kelly" Clarkson. Don't you know that all this dickish diva wants is you to pay attention to him? Doesn't anyone realize that negative energy only makes him stronger, like the slime in Ghostbusters II? You puckheads should know better. Hell, what am I saying? People still chant "POTVIN SUCKS" at MSG. Personally, I didn't agree with him getting booed and decided to say "Boooo-very".

Maybe there's something to be said about Gayvery's pest tactics. Since the league is putting up with his "agitation without pugliation" policy, he'll continue to play and garner attention. But to me he represents everyone in the world that's allowed to be a complete douchebag and get away with it: the Wall Street maverick who makes money when stocks collapse, the guy in the BMW who weaves through traffic, the asshole who goes in the bathroom exit at a hockey game when there's clearly a fucking line, the Patriots fan who didn't seem to exist for the first 30 years of my life. As long as opponents don't let him get in their head (as Brodeur clearly didn't in Monday's 5-0 drubbing, his 98th SO), and the defense keeps him off the scoresheet (he's currently on pace to score 0 goals), he's a useless player. He knows it, and that's why he's already focusing on his post-hockey career in fashion.

Other than company softball ringer Darryl Strawberry, I wonder if booing and heckling affects players that much. The head games that occur on the ice are probably more effective, but I'm not too sure it doesn't affect them on some subconscious level, either positively (while on the road) or negatively. All I know is that I don't care what players say about each other in the press, just take care of your job on the ice.

* While at MSG on Monday night (to witness Turco's one good game so far this season) I realized that the Rangers have two players who have names that sound like "boos" when chanted by the crowd: Drury and Dubinsky. I think they should go further and get an entire team of players with the "oo" vowel sound in their name, so you can't tell if they're booing or not, like J.P. Dumont, Jordin Tootoo and Francois Bouchard. Do they chant "Chee-choooo" in San Jose? If so, I say they trade for him.

Speaking of, whatever happened to Chris Droooory? Did he retire? Oh that's right, he's the captain and starting center for the NY Rangers. He's only got 1 assist in 9 games and is a minus-5. Ouch.

* The Sabres continue to win (if you count prevailing in the Dodge Honda SuperSkills Competition a win, and I guess we have to since the NHL does). Maybe they're finally shaking off the hangover that was last year's season, but they're off to an incredible start (6-0-1) after defeating the Wild in the shootout.

* We have a new sports jinx: the Sarah Palin Curse. Ever since the dunderheaded vice presidential candidate dropped the puck at the Philthy Lyers' opening night at MassiveBankFailure Center, they haven't won a single game (0-3-3, 3 points, last place in the East). The actual reason for this might be the injuries on defense and lackluster goaltending that have produced a conference worst 29 goals allowed (only Dallass with 32 GA, most of them thanks to Marty Turco's 4.03/.848, are worse). But I have no problem blaming it on a politician, especially one that's an insult to intelligent women everywhere. I have a feeling they might notch their first win this weekend, since the Devils have a home-and-home series with them wherein Friday's game is quickly followed up by 4 PM Saturday start (due to the damn Philthies/Rays game). But look for the Blues fast start (4-2-1) to be quickly snuffed out, as she will be dropping the puck tonight in St. Louis!

(I'm turning into Puck Daddy by mixing politics and hockey. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.)

* GOAL OF THE WEEK
Brendan Morrow, proud member of the Zelepukin Slappers, against It's good to be the King Henrik at MSG, 10/20/2008 (2-1 Stars). (Fast forward about 0:58 in.)



I saw him score this live, from his stomach.

* Great player names: Wacey "Wascally" Rabbit (C, Boston Bruins). He hasn't been spotted on the ice yet, but Elmer Fudd is currently hunting for him.

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY LAST POST ABOUT COUGHLIN

This is it! Until he's finally fired as the Giants coach, I'm done talking about Tom Coughlin. I'm astonished how many people think it's the "right move" for the Giants to keep this ass-clown. This is a coach who:

* Doesn't have control of the team
* Doesn't have the players' respect
* Doesn't adjust his game plan, ever
* Acts like a lunatic on the sidelines after every call that doesn't go his team's way
* Allows his players say whatever they want to the media
* Allows his players to show each other up on the field
* Blames his players for poor execution
* Throws his coaching staff under the bus

Since Jim Fassel was hired, the players (headed by Strahan) have effectively run this team. Coughlin was hired as a "disciplinarian" to straighten out this ego-laden team, but he's clearly not capable of that; in fact, he can't even keep his own ego in check. It is solely his fault for having zero control over every aspect of this team, and he merely watches as they embarrass themselves and the franchise.

I also hear things like "he's not responsible for dropped passes, missed tackles, and bad penalties". Okay, he can't do much about the first two, but it's absoultely his fault if is team is so undisciplined as to constantly be flagged for late hit and false start penalties. Since there is very little difference in NFL talent from the best team to the worst, coaching means more than in any other sport. Coaching is the reason why Marty Schottenheimer teams never win in the playoffs, why Andy Reid can't quite win the big game, and why Bill Belichick consistently kicks your ass.

To say he deserves to stay because "they made the playoffs" is a weak argument. It's like saying, "That drunk pilot deserves to keep his license because he hasn't crashed a plane yet." Not only do Giants fans have to suffer this nonsense for another year, but potential GM candidates have passed on the Giants job because Tom will still be at the helm. They deserve to have another shitty season with him.

UPDATE: The Giants hired Jerry Reese as their new GM, whom I know zero about except that he was their previous "director of player personnel" (whatever that entails). This makes him the first black GM in the NFL, and I hope he ends up to be more than just a football footnote. This also makes him a friend of Coughlin's, which may mean it will be many years before he vacates the coaching position. What could it possibly take to get rid of Coughlin? A 3-13 season? In closing, please suck a bag of dicks, Mr. Coughlin.