ONLY 105 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT!

I frequently find myself in a rant-rut at this time of the year. My complaints and jokes end up being pretty repetitive, not to mention redundant, with the most popular ones being tried and true classics like: "Where did the summer go?", "Why does everything have to be about marketing?", "Why does anyone care what [insert name of actor/celebrity/athlete here] has to say about anything?" and "Why is this jackass in the left lane?" But I'm going to bust this one out earlier than ever before, because I'm being forced to. While I was driving home on Wednesday, and I heard a radio commercial for the "Radio City Christmas Spectacular". You have GOT to be shitting me. It's September 7th! Do you think they're giving us ample time to formulate our holiday entertainment schedules? I just hope all the tickets haven't been sold yet!


THE 500 CLUB

As all the fun is being systematically sucked out of every major league sport, there's something so completely ordinary about all the teams I've been rooting for lately. Between the unproven Eli Manning leading the Giants, the lackluster Mets' leaning too heavily on Pedro to bring them to the promised land, and the Devils losing their two most notable defensemen, there's a really good chance that all of them are going to finish their respective seasons with a 50% winning percentage. Yes, the dreaded "500 Club", which leaves the fan with nothing really positive or negative to say. They're not good, they're not bad, they're at .500. It's the "meh" of team accomplishments. But I'm okay with it, because it insures that I won't lose sleep over it, or waste time on it. Going into the season, if I expect the team to lose as much as they win, it allows me to not really care too much about it. So as we kick off another NFL season, all I can say is "LET'S GO . . . meh."


THE ORIGINAL . . . THREE?

Since "hockey" is in the name of this blog, I just thought I'd mention that according to the NHL 2005-2006 schedule, the Detroit Red Wings do not play Boston, Toronto, or Montreal at all this year. That's right, they only play half of the Original Six teams, because of the new emphasis on division games; to fill the void, they play their bitter rivals, the Columbus Bluejackets, EIGHT TIMES. In fact, they don't even have to travel to the Northeast once all season, the closest they get is in Washington. Which brings me back to my original point, that the NHL is really doing all it can to WIN THE FANS BACK! Welcome to the new NHL! Good work, Bettman, you fucking moron.


CHARITY DISPARITY

I just wanted to give "big ups" to the United Way of New Orleans, for their massive 14.2% overhead that they deduct from all Hurricane Katrina (and other) donations, which has garnered them a two star/42.07 rating (4 star/0-70 scales, respectively). And also I would be remiss if I didn't say thanks to PayPal, for making a $0.30/2.9% profit on every donation processed through their website. It's great to see that despite a complete catastrophe, the American enterpreneurial capitalism machine is still alive and well!