Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Yeah, I'm a day behind once again (because of Memorial Day). This time it's "Falling Hare" (1943), in which a gremlin uses his "dia-bo-LICK-el sab-o-TAY-gee" to beat the living crap out of Bugs Bunny.

Bugs Bunny in "Falling Hare" (1943) [Daily Motion]

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


9:59> This blog entry is being most likely read by no one but me, so it's really just to refresh my memory when the show returns next season TO RUIN MY LIFE.
10:00> Kate was kicking ass and beating up US Marshalls in the first year, and now she wilts when Saywer tells her to piss off and keep walking to the radio tower? "Ever since you got pregnant, you've changed, Freckles."
10:01> So Jack just said, "I LOVE YOU!" to Kate. Maybe they're going steady again after all! I hope he asks her to the prom! "Did you hear she got pinned? Did she kiss him and cry?" I don't miss high school AT ALL.
10:02> FUCK! The Jack flashback continues, as Grizzly Shephard is cranking "Scentless Apprentice" by Nirvana and going to a funeral for . . . wait, who is in the coffin?
10:05> Jack and Ben, together again. I'm getting all misty.
10:09> Mikhail thankfully puts the eye patch back on (ewww), but after he snuffs out the two chicks, Dez shoots him in the chest with the spear gun! "My uncle shot me with a spear gun once . . . ONCE." Is he really dead though? Do I really care?
10:14> Ben about Naomi: "She's not who she says she is." This is about the 234th time they've said this on 3 years of LOST. This show makes my head hurt.
10:23> Charlie is the only one making sense right now . . . and he's about to die, brutha!
10:25> Danielle finally meets her daughter, Alex, and asks if she wants to help her tie her dad up. So THAT'S how it is in their family.
10:28> HURLEY AND THE LOVE BUS! He runs down The Others who were holding Bernie, Sayid and Jin captive in his Bitchin' Dharmawagen! Holy shit, that was awesome! Yes, those three were NOT shot (as I guessed) despite Ben telling Tom to do so. Sayid does this nifty leg-twist-neck-snapping thing, and Sawyer shoots Tom. The body count rises. WAR: IT'S FAAAAAN-TASTIC!
10:34> More Jack and his daddy issues. "Call him, and if he's as drunk as me . . ." Is this a competition?
10:36> I hate commercials. They waste my life.
10:40> Charlie types in the magic code: "Gotta keep those lovin' good vibrations a-happ'nin' with her."

10:41> With the jammer off, Charlie talks with Penny on the telly . . . but HEEEEEERE'S MIKHAIL! He rises from the dead YET AGAIN and blows open the porthole with a grenade. I told you! He's like the Russian Terminator! "He'll find him! That's what he does! That's ALL HE DOES!"
10:43> As the room fills with water (glug glug) Chuck's final act (glug glug) before drowning (glug glug): he writes on his hand and shows Dezi "NOT PENNY'S BOAT".
10:44> Oh shit. I'm getting a very bad feeling about this.
(EDIT: I thought about this later. Why didn't Charlie just swim up out of the blown out wall?)
10:48> Ben tells Jack, "You don't know what you're doing!" I hate the fact that Ben is probably right. Danielle knocks him unconscious anyway. Ha!
10:49> So now that Charlie's turned off the underwater jamming device with his Good Vibrations, Rousseau shuts off her distress message, and Naomi gets a signal to her boat on her iPhone . . . and Locke throws a knife in her back! "My father knifed me in the back once . . . ONCE."
10:50> Locke threatens to shoot Jack if he picks up the phone but he doesn't, saying, "You weren't supposed to do this." Yeah, and I wasn't supposed to watch this. Really, blowing up submarines? Killing people with sat phones? So he really wants to stay on the island, I take it. It's nice and all, but they don't have broadband internet.
10:52> The boat has a fix on their location. The LOSTIES are excited to hear from the outside world . . . but I'm guessing this is not a good thing. Remember, they don't get off the island until the series ends in 2010!
10:54> Back to Jackland, who in his drunken state has called Kate, who meets her out by the airport--so apparently this was a flash FORWARD. Or was it a parallel universe? Or an alternate reality? My head REALLY FUCKING HURTS.
10:57> Long story short, he says he made a mistake, and that maybe they shouldn't have been saved. And we still don't know who was in the coffin, but it's someone Kate also knows, and whose funeral she wouldn't go to (Locke? Ben?). Also, Oceanic apparently gave him a Golden Pass to apologize for the "crash" (or are they in PURGATORY, man???), which he uses to get drunk ALL OVER THE WORLD. Aim high, brutha!
10:58> As Kate drives away to go back to whomever she's with (Sawyer? Ben?), Jack screams, "WE HAVE TO GO BACK! WE HAVE TO GO BACK!"
10:59> And I have to go to sleep! At least the Yankees beat the Sawks, that's the only thing I know FOR SURE ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
11:00> I just remembered that LOST doesn't return for another 8 months. SEE YOU IN FEBRUARY, LOSTIES! Only 48 episodes to go!

God damn this show.


9:00> Welcome to my live blog of the Season 3 finale of LOST. Will it give us more questions than answers? You be the judge!
9:01> We start with a Jack flashback. Crap. You might as well erase about 10 uninteresting minutes from the show. But I love Jack's fake playoff hockey beard. Seriously, that's not a good look for anyone.
9:03> And . . . cue Jack crying. Man, he's cried a lot this season.
9:04> Iron & Wine, don't jump! He doesn't, obviously, because this is a flashback. Duh.
9:05> Is there an unlimited supply of Dharma platinum blonde hair dye for Juliet?
9:07> "License To Wed" looks like a shitbomb. Robin Williams must die. I feel sorry for Jim from The Office for choosing that script.
9:10> Hey, how did they get an iPhone on the island already?
9:12> I guess hobbits are good swimmers, because Charlie is still alive. But the functional underwater station is manned by two women (womanned?). At least he's getting tuned up by a hottie.
9:14> So Ben just found out that Juliet is a mole . . . and sends in his henchmen (I love that name--what's a hench anyway?) to go kablooey anyway?
9:20> "Did they blow up 3 tents, or only 2? Well, to tell you the truth I kind of lost track in all the excitement. Let me ask a question: do you feel lucky, punk?" The three get captured after killing 7 Others with the TNT. I believe this is Sayid's 14th time getting captured so far.
9:21> Rose has the line of the show so far: "Jack, if you say 'Live together, die alone' I'm punching you in the face." Do it now!
9:25> As Sayid and Jin keep their mouths shut about Jack and the LOSTIES' whereabouts, Bernard spills the beans. Bernie, you are a douche.
9:26> Pixar's first dud?
9:28> Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse than "The Suitcase Opening Show" . . . it's "National Bingo Night" on ABC. IT'S BINGO . . . TO THE EXTREEEEEEME!!! Not only does this show exist, YouTube already has the commercial. This country is retarded.
9:30> Ben is a real bitch when he's angry. I still don't quite understand the whole "Jacob's haunted house" thing from a few weeks ago, but that's not important right now.
9:31> Sawyer & Kate having a lover's quarrel. "Ever since you killed that con man is cold blood, you've CHANGED!" No, she didn't say that, but she did say, "Since when are you calling me Kate?" I don't understand how these people are so emotionally connected to each other--what, have they known each other for about 90 days? And Sawyer & Kate have only gotten close in the past month since she split up with Jack. It's like frigging high school.
9:33> I have to say, Charlie is making me laugh tonight. They should tie him to a chair every week.
9:39> Dr. Unabomber is a stubborn prick. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? Stop the flashback, I want to get off.
9:41> Saywer's going "Back To The Beach" with Annette, Frankie and Pee Wee. The bird is the word!

9:42> Actually, he's going back to the beach with Juliet. A hidden cache of guns? Juliet is just filled with juicy info. How about a HIDDEN HOVERCRAFT SO WE CAN END THIS SHOW?
9:44> Ben says "Everything I've done, I've done for the island . . . with love." Everything sounds funny when you add "with love".
9:50> Oh, Juliet was lying but they're going to beach anyway.
9:53> It only took an hour, but we have our first LOCKE sighting, and he's a gun totin' cripple!
9:55> It's a 27 year old WAAAAAALT! (It's not the same without Michael yelling it.) He's almost as tall as Walt Frazier now, and tells Locke to get up and stop whining.


Meanwhile, this The Office Primetime Preview is hilarious:

Dwight: Water is incredibly overrated, both as a beverage and as an element. First of all, it has no taste, and fire is much more destructive. You've never heard of water burning down a building.


I'm a day behind this week, so here's "Fair Haired Hare" (1950) starring Bugs Bunny.

As Rob stated: "The problem with golfing on Monday is that it makes everything I do the rest of the week seem utterly pointless." So true.


I watched the end of the Ducks/Red Wings what a wild ending as the Ducks held on to win 4-3. Chris "Wily Veteran" Chelios even craftily squeezed a stick under his armpit to draw a hooking call in the final few minutes, but Giggy was able to stop all incoming shots to once again send his team to the finals.

I also got to see this game in glorious HD last night and it looked great (though not as good as MSGHD). For some reason VersusHD is not even listed on Cablevision's channel lineup (and for some reason the douche bags that run the cable company will never tell you), so I had to hear through various forums that Versus/Golf Channel HD was going to be added Channel 719 sometime this week. So we get it just in time for the end of the hockey season, not in time for the NBC debacle on Saturday, and for most of the golf season. Why does CV keep these channel additions a secret? Don't you think they'd put it on the website somewhere that they've added new HD channels, with more on the way? Are they making so much money that they don't even care if they get new subscribers? Never mind, I think I answered my own question.

The Stanley Cup finals start Monday night, and I'm going to make my blognostication right now. Since these are two pretty evenly matched teams, both with 48 wins in the regular season, one with the scoring edge (Sens) and the other with the goaltending edge (Ducks), it's very hard to decide. Therefore I will base my pick on one simple observation: some team captains are so superstitous that they refuse to touch the trophy awarded to them when they win their conference. Take a look at these pictures of captains Daniel Alfredsson and Scott Niedermeyer with their respective awards:

Ottawa+Senators+captain+Daniel+Alfredsson+touches+Prince+of+Wales+trophy+after+beating+the+Buffalo+Sabres+in+Game+5+in+overtime+5-19-07+at+HSBC+Arena+in+Buffalo,+NY+(AP+Photo-David+Duprey) Scott+Niedermayer+stands+next+to+the+Clarence+Campbell+Trophy+after+defeating+Detroit+Red+Wings+Anaheim,+CA+on+5-22-2007+REUTERS-Mike+Blake+(US)

Since Alfie touched it, and Nieds steadfastly refused to (an approach that has worked for him not once, not twice, but THRICE), I'm going to give the nod to the Los Angeles Flightless Waterfowl of Anaheim.
Ducks in 6.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


* I've never seen a team dominate a game as much as Detroit did in Game 5 against the Ducks AND STILL LOSE. It seemed like they were on the PP for the entire 2nd period, but when the Ducks weathered the storm and made it deep into the 3rd period only down 1-0 it was anyone's game. Sure enough, they scored with 37 seconds left when Scott "Ol' Greybeard" Niedermeyer's shot deflected off a defenseman's stick and over Hasek for the tying goal; they sealed the win in OT on a giveaway right in front of the net that Selanne intercepted and flipped into the top of the net. It could be all over for the Red Wings tonight in the Honda Pond.

Fun fact: Duck netminder Jean-Sebastien Giguere is now 12-1 in OT in the playoffs. Yikes!

* What else can be said about the Buffalo Sabres? They were invincible in the regular season, and invisible in the playoffs--a monumental disappointment. While the offense was listless and shut down by Ottawa's solid D, Ryan Miller seemed like the only player to ratchet up his game for the postseason (that stick save in OT is as good as any you'll ever see). Chris Drury was also outstanding, taking a puck to the mouth and 11 stitches and still coming back to play. If they lose him or Briere to free agency in the offseason, it should be interesting to see if this team can still be as formidable next year. I like their chances.

*Finally, a huge FUCK YOU to NBC Sports for NOT SHOWING THE OVERTIME of the OTT/BUF game, instead deciding to show a pointless hour and a half of pre-race horse nonsense as Versus showed the remainder of the game. It was a minor annoyance for me (flipping from an HD to an SD channel), but what about hockey fans that don't have Versus at all? It's no wonder every major sport (NBA, MLB, NFL, arena football) has dumped them over the years, because they just don't get it. Yes, you've made it perfectly clear that it's all about ratings and not about sports, but this is completely unacceptable. Just stick to your insufferable Olympics telecasts.


I've got a case of the Mondays, even though it's a Tuesday, since I took off yesterday to play golf. I tried to think of something to blog but I got nothing, just have a bunch of brief thoughts that I don't feel like expounding on.

* The Yankees desperate move of signing Roger Clemens, coupled with their circus-like announcement of it indicates that their dynasty in the American League East is officially over. Someone likened this to something that would happen in wrestling: "CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCKET'S COOKING?" But Yankee radio announcer Suzyn Waldman's ridiculous reaction to it (look for the Roger's BACK audio link on the right) made me almost throw up from laughter. No matter how many times I say "RAWGER CLEMENS IS IN GEORGE'S BAWKS!", it's still funny. Of all the dramatic things she's seen? I guess all those dramatic World Series moments can't possibly beat that. Oh well, the Yanks had a good run.

* It's also over for Tony Soprano. I'm done watching the show, and I'm done complaining about it. Here's my blognostication as the show limps to the finale: AJ kills himself, Phil kills Paulie (Silvio, or anyone in NJ), Tony kills Phil, Carmela kills Tony. The end! Please pay your toll on the way outta Jersey.

Seriously, I think Carmela killing Tony in the final ep, and making it look like an accident, would be awesome. She's been defending him for so many years now, and it's all going to come to head when she finally realizes that she's married to pure evil, and she'll kill him with the new $10,000 espresso machine. Or he'll "accidentally drown in the pool", as his ducks from the first episode land in the water next to him. Or maybe everyone all die in a massive explosion, or their plane crashes on a mysterious island in the South Pacific. I just don't care that much anymore.

* Believe it or not, I'm trying to cut down on caffeine. I tried the new Starbucks Komodo Dragon, and it actually tastes pretty good for a decaf. But it really attacks my bowels even moreso than their other coffees, so I've renamed it "The Commode Dragon".

* I actually missed "LOST", "The Sopranos" and the final episode of "Heroes" this week. Why, you ask? Because I was at the bar all three nights! Yeah, I should probably spend a little less time and money there.

Friday, May 18, 2007


je·té (zhuh-tay)

[n.] A leap in ballet in which one leg is extended forward and the other backward.
[French, from past participle of jeter, to throw, from Old French.]

Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter, after retrieving a grounder deep in the hole to his right, instead of the normal plant-and-throw he performs a unique jeté as he hurls the ball to the first baseman, sometimes called the "Jeter Jump".

This seems to happen much too early and often: interleague baseball this weekend, Yankees @ Mets. I say the Yanks take 2 of 3. Why not?

I just found out that Tom Glavine is an excellent golfer (shot a 79 at Manhattan Woods on Wednesday), a lefty who swears a lot on the course--just like me (2 out of 3, anyway)!

Thursday, May 17, 2007


It's Thursday and I'm hungover. I didn't plan this (who does?) but the electricity was out at my apartment after some strong storms blew through the area yesterday afternoon. What was I going to do, sit in the candlelight and read a book/write that novella I've been putting off/play strip solitare, while waiting for the power to come back on? I pondered my alternatives, and of course "golf" and "beer" kept popping up. So I threw the clubs in the car and headed towards Nyack, and since it started to rain on the way to the driving range, I just headed straight to Bourbon Street. As I drove into town the traffic light was out, but the bar was lit up like a shining alcoholic beacon. For some reason, they are on a part of the electrical grid that never loses power. Thank god for that.

Somewhere between the first and second shots of Jameson I drank (also not planned), the power came on at the bank across the street, which I decided was an advantageous time to drain my checking account. I was about to cross Main Street when an attractive young girl in a huge black SUV rolled down the window and asked, "Excuse me, do you know how to get to Lace?" About 1000 different things popped into my head at that moment (most of them not safe for work) as I tried to come up with an appropriate response. Here are a few of them:

"The directions are complicated, I wouldn't be able to tell you. How about I hop in and show you?"

"Lace? You look like you belong at Stiletto."

"Why? Are you working there tonight?"

"Just a warning: if you're going to Lace, you're wearing waaaay too much."

"I was just headed there! Mind if I ride with you?"

"Funny you should ask, because I'm the one holding the auditions! But because of the power outages, we're recruiting new talent at Bourbon Street."

So what did I actually say? Uhm, I merely gave her directions. I'm so stupid.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


What else can be said about the classic "Racketeer Rabbit" (1946)? The Edward G. Robinson characature is hilarious, and Bugs is at his best.

"It's curtains for you, Mugsy, CURTAINS!" "Oh, they're adorable . . . "

This organized crime satire is way better than "The Sopranos".


"I just want to sit on the beach and eat hot dogs. It's all I've ever wanted to do."

Just a random quote from "The Office" last week, to get psyched for Thursday's finale. According to the commercials NBC thinks all its viewers care about this, so allow me to ask: What will Jim say to Pam's crazy post-coal walking outburst?

a) "I transferred to the Stamford branch because you're a crazy bitch who doesn't know what she wants. But that means you're probably great in the sack, so maybe I made the wrong decision."

b) "I am such a sensitive person, so I want to say that I miss you too, while my eyes well up with tears and I smirk a little bit. And I didn't want that big corporate job in the city that Karen is going to take anyway. So now I can stay in Scranton forever with you, which will make the chicks who watch this show even happier! Now help me find a way to talk Dwight into removing his pants in a comical fashion, and everything will be fine."

c) "Well, things are going great with me and Karen. But we have been talking about getting a threesome together . . . "

d) "Uhm, what?"

Monday, May 14, 2007


My first baseball post of 2007 admittedly is an odd one: 21 of the 25 Mets players shaved their heads before playing the Brewers on Friday. Pretty damn funny.

New York Mets' Oliver Perez, second from left, holds his cap over his chest exposing his shaved head while standing for the national anthem with Ramon Castro, far left, John Maine, center, Shawn Green, second from right, and Mike Pelfrey, all whom shaved their heads before playing the Milwaukee Brewers in Major League Baseball action Friday, May 11, 2007, at Shea Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)
New York Mets' Oliver Perez, second from left, holds his cap over his chest exposing his shaved head while standing for the national anthem with Ramon Castro, far left, John Maine, center, Shawn Green, second from right, and Mike Pelfrey, all whom shaved their heads before playing the Milwaukee Brewers in Major League Baseball action Friday, May 11, 2007, at Shea Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)

Now if we could get Pedro to shave his dumb head--but it will probably prolong his stint on injured list.

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Great article from John Feinstein of the Washington Post:

For the Month of May, Nothing Can Match Hockey Playoffs

He hits the nail on the head. This guy gets it.

The rumor is that Cablevision is adding Versus/Golf Channel HD next week, so it could be an even better May than previously thought.

Oh, and fuck Roger Clemens. The Yankee dynasty is officially over.

(Despite what the Biggest Sabres Fan In France would have you believe, it appears that Chris Neil is still alive, after Ottawa's 5-2 spanking of the Sabres in Game 1.)

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


The 17th hole at the TPC Sawgrass (Stadium) Golf Course: 137 yards of sheer terror.

This par 3 with its 'island green' is one of the most infamous holes on the PGA Tour. Since the pros have a hard time keeping their balls on this green (in 2000, 45 tee shots plunked into the water in one day), I can't imagine how I'd fare. This hole was even scary on PGA Tour Golf on the PlayStation. And Tiger's not a big fan, which for some reason makes me admire and respect it even more.

TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida is also one of the few famous courses that you can play . . . if you have the money. The Players Championship will be played here starting on Thursday morning, and NBC will be showing it (mostly) in HD (instead of playoff hockey--usually I would complain, but not this time). The website will also have a live streaming video from the 17th hole starting at 9 AM. I'll be there!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007


Here's the first appearance of Daffy Duck, in the Porky Pig cartoon titled "Porky's Duck Hunt" (1937).


Even though no one reads this but me, I feel obligated to at least say something. It was a horrible weekend for the NYC area hockey teams, but since I couldn't actually see one second of the 3 games at my sister's house I don't have much to report--thanks again NHL, for signing with Versus! From what I heard, (on XM driving home from NH), the Sabres didn't really play like the Sabres until Sunday's Game 6, got a lucky goal with 7.7 seconds left in Game 5 to swing the series in their favor, and overall did the minimum needed to advance (note: this will not work against OTT, who are better than I thought). Meanwhile, the Rangers fought to the bitter end. As for the Devils, despite Scott Gomez they barely showed up for their elimination game on Saturday; Elias had 10 shots on goal in the game, but came up empty. Meh, have fun in Newark, boys. So congrats to whomever is happy with the results.

Oh, I also picked San Jose to win it all, and they just got beat by Detroit last night. So we've got Sabes vs. Sens, and Ducks vs. Red Wings. Could we see a Hasek vs. Sabres final? It's entirely possible, but I'd have a hard time caring. I also know that I'm done blogging the Stanley Cup playoffs, save for the "Congratulations Buffalo!" or "You suck, Buffalo!" post after it's over. (Hey, they already have the President's Trophy and the #1 Merchandise Buying Fans, what more do they want?)

It's funny how my interest all but shuts off when the Devils are eliminated. And I don't even know if any of the final games will be in HD, so that also sucks.

Well, now that the playoffs are over, it's finally time for some golf!

Thursday, May 3, 2007


Here's a new Open Hockey feature that will be sure to be ignored in a few weeks: DRINKY DRINKY. It will cover everything from beer, wine and spirits, to the establishments that serve them and the people who drink them.

So what's the most e-mailed story on the New York Times website today . . . Iraq? GM? Global warming? The Yankees firing their conditioning coach because he was systematically debilitating their pitching staff? No, it's an article on martinis! It's about time. Thank you NYT, for providing information on all the booze that's fit to drink!

During my daily trips to the liquor store, it seems like another trendy gin pops up on the shelf. It's confusing, as they are from all corners of the globe and virtually in every price range. While some of them stick to the traditional juniper berry formulation, others contain botanicals such as angelica, cardamom, coriander, cinnamon, lemon peel, licorice, fennel and ginger. How can you sort through dozens of different gins? I would say 'very carefully' through trial and error, the error being trying them all in one sitting.

Thankfully, there are well paid drinking professionals at the NYT to do the legwork (tonguework?) for us. They rate different gins based on the quality of the martini they make (stirred not shaken, with a 5:1 gin:vermouth ratio, no mention of olives). This being the newspaper of the liberal intelligentsia, they manage to do this in the most utterly pretentious way possible. Looking for "balance, persistence and character" their reviews say things like: "The Junipero . . . came on strong with the traditional gin flavors of juniper and citrus, hitting all the right notes, though a little self-consciously." What does that even mean? And does it say something about my personality if I drink Bombay Sapphire martinis that are "jazzy" and "neurotic"?

Cutting through the nonsense, their top gin pick: Plymouth English Gin ($17.99). Others they enjoyed were: Junipero, Cadenhead’s Old Raj ($59.99), Seagram's ($7.99), Tanqueray ($17.99), Hendrick's ($23.99), Gordon's ($8.99). My personal picks would be Bombay Sapphire ($21.99), Tanqueray and Hendrick's. I'm intrigued by the Junipero, which is made by the Anchor distillery in San Francisco, and the Cadenhead Old Raj, which is from Scotland and packs a 110 proof (!) wallop. I'm also surprised by their praise of Seagram's (they were obviously DRUNK), which is ordinary at best. I do agree with their assertation about Tanqueray Ten being a little "busy" for a martini; I've always found it better with tonic and a lime twist, as it can be distracting and boisterious, without being aggressive or cantankerous. (Two can play at that obtuse adjective game, New York Times!) Their cute descriptions of each gin are also irritating: apparently the "floral notes" in Hendrick's creates a "martini in a Hawaiian shirt". Huh? That makes me picture a drunk, red-faced Chris Berman in a club flanked by strippers, and I somehow don't see him with an elegant martini in his hand--he's more the Jager and Bud Light type.

By the way, how does one become a mixologist? What schools offer mixology degrees? Can you get a scholarship based on your drinking ability? All I know is that the NH Liquor Store (where I got the listed 750ml prices from) is going to get hit hard this weekend.

Man, I'm thirsty.

P.S. Here's a martini recipe that would probably curl the toes of the NYT snobs amidst pained cries of "Why, I never!" and "This is an outrage!", but might be perfect for this weekend's Kentucky Derby:

3/4 cup bourbon - we suggest Maker's Mark
1/4 cup Vanilla Vodka
1 teaspoon orange liqueur (good Triple Sec, or Cointreau)
1 teaspoon peppermint schnapps

Combine all ingredients in a shaker and, well, shake. Strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with fresh mint or an orange twist.

(As Kris pointed out, I don't know what makes this a martini, except for the glass its in.)

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


The Royal Tavern in Philadephia had one of the best CD jukeboxes I've ever seen. I put in $10 and got 36 credits (I was expecting the digital juke prices, which are much higher) and off the top of my head we played songs by: Art Brut, AC/DC, Arctic Monkeys, Black Sabbath, Guided By Voices, The Stooges, New Order, Beastie Boys, Neil Young, The Cure, The Smiths, TV On The Radio, Girl Talk, Peter Bjorn & John, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Wilco, Tapes n Tapes, Johnny Cash, Band Of Horses. Okay, I'm exhausted, but you get the idea.

As golf gear goes, we all understand the allure of the $400 driver: people with loads of disposible income want to be able to think they can drive a ball 300 yards and will pay whatever it takes. But a Titleist Scotty Cameron putter that costs $299.99? For a club you don't even swing that's made up of about $7 worth of raw materials? Are you kidding?

The show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is occasionally funny. But while watching a repeat the other night, I realized how ridiculous and unrealistic it can be. During a poker game at Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Brad Hall's house, Larry David calls another player a "cunt". Somehow this offends everyone so much they all go home. Come on! This is a word coming out of a comedian's mouth in front of a bunch of Hollywood types, and we're supposed to believe they're shocked an appalled by this? Sure they're playing it for laughs, but there's only so much neurotic bullshit that I will buy.

In Dodge's new commercials, they brag about their heated/cooled cupholders. No, they don't talk about advances in engine technology, or gas mileage: they want you to buy it for the CUPHOLDERS. Meanwhile, Toyota has passed GM as the #1 seller in the US, and everyone's wondering why. (Oh, and Mazda has to get rid of that creepy "zoom zoom" campaign while we're at it; they may have good cars, but the commercial makes me really hate them.)

BTW, I love this article about car salesmen from The Truth About Cars. Any article that starts with the following sentence is okay with me:

Sometime between the sale of the first Model T and now, the automobile business has come to represent all that is wrong with sales, marketing and advertising. According to the surveys that track respect for professions, automobile salesmen are bottom feeders, swimming just above the mud with politicians and marketing folk. Do new and used-car dealers deserve such scorn? Absolutely.

In closing, did you know that the Devils' American Hockey League team, the Lowell Devils, have three brothers of current players on their roster? Jordan Parise (starting goalie, 2.68 GAA in 32 G), Mike Pandolfo, and Stephen Gionta all played for the Massachusettes farm team this season. Wacky but true! Devils 2.0.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007


New York Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundqvist pad save on a stuff attempt by Buffalo Sabres' Daniel Briere - Game 4 (AP Frank Franklin II)Holy crap-a-rama. What an ending.

In a white knuckle ride of a game, the Rangers beat the Sabres in Game 4, dodging a bullet late to win 2-1. With about 18 seconds to go and Miller pulled from the opposing net, Lundqvist circled around the back of his goal to retrieve the puck, and instead left it for a Rangers teammate. However, the Sabres' Danny Briere gobbled up the puck and nearly stuffed it into the vacated net. Seeing it in real time, it looked like Henrik averted disaster and got his right pad over to the post just in time to keep it out of the goal. After seeing the replay I wasn't so sure, but the angle from the goal-cam certainly was not conclusive to overturn the call of "no goal" on the ice.

That camera is a little weird because the angle is not directly over the line, so there's no way to tell exactly where that puck is; unless it's clearly over the line and not blocked by something from above. The main problem is that people tend to look at it in 2 dimensions, but if you look at the photo, the puck was not sliding along the ice but it was up in Henrik's pad, so who's to say it wasn't tucked under that ridge and not over the line? (Did that make any sense?) (Of course, it would have also been nice if we could see this game in HD, because I certainly couldn't tell where the puck was in the blocky mess that was on my screen. But we're lucky the NHL can afford cameras AT ALL.)

Regardless of the crazy outcome, the Sabres were never really in this game, as the stifling Rangers defensive scheme bottled them up all night. While Maxim For Men sat on the bench, the players on the ice were ineffective: Vanek looked lost and possibly suffering from an injury (or from being European), Briere seemed to be unfocused, and overall the team again looked listless. They didn't play hard until forced to with about 6 minutes left, and by then it was too late. The power play goals that propelled the Blueshirts were scored by Jagr and Shanny, who are both the kind of wily veteran presence that the Sabres could use right now.

(A couple of notes on the Versus broadcast: it stank. I don't know who did the play-by-play, but he was too low key for an exciting game such as this, and the two color guys don't add a thing to the conversation. Plus, they never show a replay when you want to see one, and they're always putting giant promos and statistics on the bottom of the screen that block the action. I'll be happy when the regional sports networks get the games back, albeit briefly.)

So now the series is even (which I actually called correctly, right Kris?), returning to Buffalo for Game 5 Friday night. I certainly would not want to be a Sabres player right now, having to endure the carpet bombing of f-words that is sure to be dropped by coach Lindy Ruff over the next two days.

Buffalo Sabres Daniel Briere shoots on New York Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist Game 4 MSG NYC 5-1-2007 REUTERS- Brendan McDermidIn the end, I'm glad that the on-ice officials and the magical review elf in Toronto didn't reverse the call, since there honestly was not enough video evidence to support it. If they blew this call that would have made it THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW OF CRAPPY OFFICIATING, and I would have been OFFICIALLY done with these NHL playoffs.

(One other note: I keep reading people saying "I guess the NHL wants the big market teams to win." If that's the case, then why would they screw the New York and New Jersey teams on consecutive nights? Think before you post, idiots.)


Alas, no sport is safe from crap referees.

Sure, there might be some bad calls here or there, and a waved-off goal in the mix, but NHL refs usually call a pretty good game. But when a garbage call basically decides a game in the playoffs it really hurts. I'm going to try to separate myself from the rest of the whining bloggers out there, and just say "Oh well"--but this clearly sucks. Ottawa clearly lucked out based on the ignored interference call in last night's 2-0 debacle. Now allow me to quote the CBS Sportsline "glog":

"In all fairness to Brodeur it is clear now that the only reason why that puck went in is because he was blatantly interfered with by Mike Fisher who innocently skated by stuck his skate out to catch Brodeur’s skate. Brodeur was turned looking for an interference call as the puck went in. The Senators just got a break no matter how unfair- play continued and they have a 1-0 lead."
I've also read some (Canadian) articles that say, "Fisher never entered the crease so it's okay", but that's incorrect. Here's Rule 78(b) in the NHL Rule Book:
"If an attacking player initiates any contact with a goalkeeper, other than incidental contact, while the goalkeeper is outside his goal crease, and a goal is scored, the goal will be disallowed."
I might as well add this quote from Fisher, while I'm seething with burning hatred of all things black and white striped:
"I got a piece of Brodeur and I tripped him up a little bit and Preissing got the shot away," Fisher said. "It was a great shot. I didn't intentionally try to trip him."

So as long as you don't "mean" to do it, just interfere with the goalie as much as you want! Even if he's not lying (why would Preisser even attempt a shot at such a horrible angle if Fisher wasn't planning to mess with Marty . . . ?), that's absolute fucking garbage. And the killer is that the Senators know it too. I don't want to hear "sometimes you get the bounces, and sometimes you don't", because that was interference, not a lucky bounce.

However, the bottom line is that the Devils still got shut out by Emery. They will probably end up losing this series, and this may never get mentioned again, but I can't get all worked up about it. Somewhere deep underneath Toronto, there's a magical elf that determines all these outcomes, and the Devils appear to be on the shit end of the stick right now.

That just means my golf season starts that much earlier.

Oh, and I guess I should wish everyone a happy MAY DAY! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! For the sake of Rangers fans, hopefully Rick Jeanneret won't have anything to shout about tonight. The Sabres have been outplayed so far, and Ruff says it's time to get ugly.