THINGS I HATE

Here's the deal. Kammann's the only one that posts to this blog, therefore, one could presume that he's the only one with an axe to grind against the world in general...not true. Having taken a nice 3-week vacation that consisted on totally ignoring the a) radio, b) TV news and c) newspaper left me in a bliss that is only experienced by 97% of Americans. Coming back not only meant working, or giving the semblance of working, but also learning that the rest of the world didn't stop turning, it's still a shitty place. Anyway, I should do 10, but I fucking hate top-10 lists, so I'm going to do 5 things that I absolutely, fuckatively hate.

1. I watched Knocked Up the other day (it may have been yesterday, it's still relatively fresh in my mind) and I laughed a couple of times; then started searching online for Judd Apatow's home so I could go and beat the living shit out of him ruining my time that could've been spent, oh I don't know, staring at a brick wall. How the fuck did this get a 91% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? If there is one thing that I hate, it's making socio-political statements in films. Listen, I don't care if you're for or against abortion, this film just pussied out on the whole issue and since the fact that they "kept" the baby is kind of a main plot point in this film, it's fucking idiotic...They never even really discuss the whole keep it or not...They address it just enough so most of the idiotic reviewers give them a pass, but they never get anywhere near dealing with the issue. I know it's not an abortion film...but come on: They keep the baby and live happily ever after...James Dobson in 2008.
Beyond that what did I learn? Hanging out with your buddies is immature. If you don't do 9-to-5, you're not a "man". Oh yeah, and threating a woman with physical and/or mental assault is the best way to calm her down (and probably attract her too).
1a: Why the fuck does Rotten Tomatoes make me go to their UK site? I don't want to go to their UK site, I want to go to the US site...just because I have a European IP address doesn't mean that I should be forced to go to the Blighty site...what the fuck did the Brits ever do for me anyway?


2. Crisis management and slimy marketing advertised (and believed) as "Doing the Right Thing."Mattel apologizes to China for toy recalls. Ok...where to start? Should I start with the fact that it does no use apologizing to China because it should be their government that actually keeps an eye on things and makes sure that foreign companies don't export lead-paint based toys? Or should it be the fact that Mattel should spend less time apologizing to China and more time apologizing the the parents of lead poisoning victims? Oh, and Mr. Thomas A. Debrowski, executive vice president for worldwide operations, did you apologize the workers who inhaled lead paint in their menial few-dollar a week jobs who made this shit in the first place? Fuck it. My kid's going to play with local made, hand carved, wood toys...and s/he's going to like it.

3. French trade unions who are going to make my life a living hell starting on October 18th. I like Sarkozy, but I don't love him. He's a politician and he's got his shtick and all that...good for him. And I like the fact that he's got the balls to go up against the trade unions. And I like the fact that [I hope/think/believe] that he's going to stare down this strike and figuratively (and maybe literally) give these dinosaur unions the finger. But the unions are going to try to push back. If they block the highways like in '95, I hope Sarko calls in the army and busts some heads, really. These unions have no respect for the law and no respect for their fellow Frenchmen...there are people here who want to bust their balls and make money...if you don't, just get the fuck out of the way, but don't stop the rest of us from getting to work, or getting food and gasoline, or whatever. I'm so sorry that you have to wait until you're 57 to retire and you can't retire at 50 anymore, you fucking louses.

4. I can't even get my bile up for this. This is more a wholly depressed kinda rage, but the people spend their time following celebrities. You know, the whole People Culture, but I just, I don't know...I try to convince myself that its just people's way of forgetting about their terrible little lives, but then you realize that the majority of Americans do this, and, fuck me, these people vote? That's why John Edwards spends $400 on his hair. Does anyone vote on political beliefs, ever?

5. This kind of ties in with #4 and #2: The media buying whatever it is that the people (politicians, celebrities, spinmen, handlers...) feed them. This story about Rudy taking a call from his wife is case-in-point; of course that was staged. At least it only took 4 comments to come to the same conclusion as me, but CNN "blogs" doesn't even talk about that...isn't that the point of a blog? To be able to say things that you wouldn't be able to say in a news report? Time and again you see this. I like to read about cars, but even Jalopnik.com, which I think is the best of the automotive blogs, falls for the old company line. Time-and-again...just regurgitate the shit that the marketing departments feed you. Fuck you all. I'll see you in Hell.

PS: I saw a Ron Paul sticker on a Cadillac...vintage 1975, purple with velvet seats...I don't know what that means, but it made me smile.

Oh and I hate Harlan Coben too and his cliqued, worthless, contrite drivel. I have rarely read an author that sells so many books, but is such a bad writer.