Friday, August 8, 2008


The summer Olympics began today, and I'm going to be honest: I don't really like the summer Olympics. Some of the major track and field events are exciting, but everything else (especially the gymnastics, which they force feed the US viewers) is just dull to me. This year, because it's in the horribly overcrowded and polluted city of Beijing, China all the events are 12 hours ahead, so I will know what happens even before NBC Sports screws up the tape delay broadcast of it. Maybe I'll focus on the fringe sports like kayaking, judo, fencing, heptathalon, and shooting (which the USA should win every year, since we're so skilled at shooting each other). Or I could waste time watching our overrated, narcissistic basketball players like Kobe Bryant get beat by Argentina. Nah, I'll just watch golf.

However, I do like female synchronized swimmers. They're not as muscular and butch as their swimming cohorts, since they're sort of doing gymastics in the water and are judged on their appearance and style. Wait a second: who thought doing gymnastics in the water was a good idea?

In synchronized swimming not only are pants hated, they're illegal as sanctioned by the IOC.

Here's the U.S. team. They probably don't have a chance in hell of medaling, but they have photo galleries in Radar, Fitness, and don't they look nice?

Here are the Russian duet swimmers.

Oh my. So THAT'S how it is over there.

Finally, here is the classic video featuring the men's synchronized swimming team, who were hoping to be included in the 1988 Olympics.

Okay, it's actually an SNL skit featuring Harry Shearer, Martin Short and Christopher Guest.

"I'm not that strong a swimmer."
"Heyyyy you! I know you! I know you!"

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