WRIST SHOTS: GAYVERY'S DOUCHEBAGGERY AND SPORTS HEAD GAMES

I couldn't let this week go by without mentioning Sean Avery's visit to the New York City area, this time as an overpayed member of the Dallas Stars. Now the enemy, they (for some reason) booed him in his old prancing grounds, Madison Square Garden, and taunted him when he was checked to the ice. He was similarly heckled at the Prudential Center when he refused to fight David "Kelly" Clarkson. Don't you know that all this dickish diva wants is you to pay attention to him? Doesn't anyone realize that negative energy only makes him stronger, like the slime in Ghostbusters II? You puckheads should know better. Hell, what am I saying? People still chant "POTVIN SUCKS" at MSG. Personally, I didn't agree with him getting booed and decided to say "Boooo-very".

Maybe there's something to be said about Gayvery's pest tactics. Since the league is putting up with his "agitation without pugliation" policy, he'll continue to play and garner attention. But to me he represents everyone in the world that's allowed to be a complete douchebag and get away with it: the Wall Street maverick who makes money when stocks collapse, the guy in the BMW who weaves through traffic, the asshole who goes in the bathroom exit at a hockey game when there's clearly a fucking line, the Patriots fan who didn't seem to exist for the first 30 years of my life. As long as opponents don't let him get in their head (as Brodeur clearly didn't in Monday's 5-0 drubbing, his 98th SO), and the defense keeps him off the scoresheet (he's currently on pace to score 0 goals), he's a useless player. He knows it, and that's why he's already focusing on his post-hockey career in fashion.

Other than company softball ringer Darryl Strawberry, I wonder if booing and heckling affects players that much. The head games that occur on the ice are probably more effective, but I'm not too sure it doesn't affect them on some subconscious level, either positively (while on the road) or negatively. All I know is that I don't care what players say about each other in the press, just take care of your job on the ice.

* While at MSG on Monday night (to witness Turco's one good game so far this season) I realized that the Rangers have two players who have names that sound like "boos" when chanted by the crowd: Drury and Dubinsky. I think they should go further and get an entire team of players with the "oo" vowel sound in their name, so you can't tell if they're booing or not, like J.P. Dumont, Jordin Tootoo and Francois Bouchard. Do they chant "Chee-choooo" in San Jose? If so, I say they trade for him.

Speaking of, whatever happened to Chris Droooory? Did he retire? Oh that's right, he's the captain and starting center for the NY Rangers. He's only got 1 assist in 9 games and is a minus-5. Ouch.

* The Sabres continue to win (if you count prevailing in the Dodge Honda SuperSkills Competition a win, and I guess we have to since the NHL does). Maybe they're finally shaking off the hangover that was last year's season, but they're off to an incredible start (6-0-1) after defeating the Wild in the shootout.

* We have a new sports jinx: the Sarah Palin Curse. Ever since the dunderheaded vice presidential candidate dropped the puck at the Philthy Lyers' opening night at MassiveBankFailure Center, they haven't won a single game (0-3-3, 3 points, last place in the East). The actual reason for this might be the injuries on defense and lackluster goaltending that have produced a conference worst 29 goals allowed (only Dallass with 32 GA, most of them thanks to Marty Turco's 4.03/.848, are worse). But I have no problem blaming it on a politician, especially one that's an insult to intelligent women everywhere. I have a feeling they might notch their first win this weekend, since the Devils have a home-and-home series with them wherein Friday's game is quickly followed up by 4 PM Saturday start (due to the damn Philthies/Rays game). But look for the Blues fast start (4-2-1) to be quickly snuffed out, as she will be dropping the puck tonight in St. Louis!

(I'm turning into Puck Daddy by mixing politics and hockey. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.)

* GOAL OF THE WEEK
Brendan Morrow, proud member of the Zelepukin Slappers, against It's good to be the King Henrik at MSG, 10/20/2008 (2-1 Stars). (Fast forward about 0:58 in.)



I saw him score this live, from his stomach.

* Great player names: Wacey "Wascally" Rabbit (C, Boston Bruins). He hasn't been spotted on the ice yet, but Elmer Fudd is currently hunting for him.