ADVICE TO ALL CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS

When a customer calls to notify you of a service outage it is not acceptable to say:

"It's Normal"

No, it is not fucking normal that I pay you every fucking month for a service that you are not providing to me. I am very understanding of the fact that you systems need to be "updated" from time to time. I suggest you do this when no one is using the system. Or you send a subscriber-wide email to notify your clients of the outage. 24 hours without internet is not a) Normal or b) Acceptable.

"Don't worry"

Don't fucking tell me what I should worry about. I count on my internet connection every day. You cutting my service for 24 hours and insisting that I not worry because "everything's normal" is probably the worst possible thing you can do. Don't offer to reimburse the FUCKING DAY that I was without service. The 1€ that you credit me on my bill is completely and utterly irrelevant to me, and it doesn't even pay for 1/100th of the money that I spent calling you motherfuckers on a PAY customer service help line. I believe it's 11 cents per minute (down from 34 cents/min because the government felt that literally raping their customers was a little over board), but it still took me over 40 minutes to finally get on the phone with someone to be told "not to worry."

And lastly you can stop telling me the time I spend on hold is free if I'm calling with your service. OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT CALLING WITH YOUR SERVICE BECAUSE IT'S BROKEN! Assholes.

The only thing worse is that every single ISP is the same here, so I don't have a lot of options. Although, I see that I can switch to Cable, get an HD box for 5€/month and NASN for 6€/month...This would be 11€ more than I pay, BUT non-200kbps streaming pirate internet...Actual, real TV-quality hockey, "As Live."

I think I'd have to pay 50€ to get out of my current contract, but I think I'm doing that. Plus Numericable promises pr0n much much fast..."up to 100mb/s" (I think a few different houses share the fiber optic connection, which means I would never get 100mb/s) but it is still better than my current 4.8mb/s by a couple of mb/s.

Ugh...I hate customer [dis]service.

Great news for all you cynics out there. In looking for the above demotivator, I found the following mug. I don't know if it's as good as "Fuck Off, I'm Reading the Onion" but it's up there.