BETTMAN SUCKS: NATIONAL HOCKEY LAMPOON'S (SURPRISE) EUROPEAN VACATION

During the All-Star Weekend, Gary "Fucking Twunt" Bettman announced the NHL would kick off the 2008-2009 season with several games in Europe. As part of this tour, the Rangers/Lightning would play 2 games in the Czech Republic (two minutes for cross-Czeching - GET IT?), and the Pens/Sens would similarly faceoff in Stockholm, Sweden. Additionally, he said the Rangers will play 2007 Russian Superleague champion Metallurg Magnitogorsk in the inaugural "Victoria Cup", created by the IIHF to pit an NHL team against the European club champion.

However, Bettman overstepped his authority here, as he failed to mention that the NHLPA has not approved these games. As a result, players' union boss Paul Kelly is not pleased and said that a lot of details have yet to be worked out, especially with the IIHF, with whom the NHL is having player transfer issues. Oops. Bettman also promised that ABBA would be getting back together and playing a concert during the games in Sweden, although he hasn't actually talked to the band members yet.

In other words, Bettman sucks.

Regardless, I seriously don't know what the NHL is trying to do, besides suck as much money as they can out of hockey fans without actually improving the sport. If these games are going to count, aren't you also taking away games from season ticket holders in the process? Why don't they work on getting the average US sports fan to give a crap about the NHL, instead of outsourcing it to Europe? And as much as I like ESPN getting the shaft whenever and wherever possible, the NHL signing an extension with Versus through 2011 isn't going to exactly increase their visibility in the States.

Thanks to Barry Melrose Rocks for the photo.

RUSSIAN SUPERLEAGUE SUPERFIGHT

Putting the "super" in Russian SuperLeague, this is the most ridiculous hockey fight I've ever seen. This took place on January 8, 2008, featuring AK Bars Kazan (in the light jerseys that remind me of the original New Jersey Devils) vs. Traktor Chelyabinsk (dark jerseys):



From YouTube user ranndino who watched the game:

"With the score 7-5 and Traktor Chelyabinsk on a 5-on-3 power play they took out the goalie, so it was 6-on-3. They scored the goal to apparently make it 7-6, but the puck was knocked out of the goalie's glove after he made the save. Ak Bars players did not seem to appreciate it and one of them punched the celebrating player. Then all hell broke loose."

There were 378 PIM assessed during this fracas, and I'm pretty sure every player from both teams were involved. I love the ref at 0:22 trying unsuccessfully to stop the tidal wave of players coming off the bench to join in. At around 1:40 you think it's over, but it's not; one of the Chelyabinsk players throws an AK Bars jersey into the stands, which causes #30 (allegedly, Aleksandr Stepanov) to go apeshit and start the second wave of fighting (replayed here at 3:46).

The Philadelphia Flyers are currently in negotiations with Stepanov, they like the cut of his jib.