BETTMAN SUCKS: NATIONAL HOCKEY LAMPOON'S (SURPRISE) EUROPEAN VACATION

During the All-Star Weekend, Gary "Fucking Twunt" Bettman announced the NHL would kick off the 2008-2009 season with several games in Europe. As part of this tour, the Rangers/Lightning would play 2 games in the Czech Republic (two minutes for cross-Czeching - GET IT?), and the Pens/Sens would similarly faceoff in Stockholm, Sweden. Additionally, he said the Rangers will play 2007 Russian Superleague champion Metallurg Magnitogorsk in the inaugural "Victoria Cup", created by the IIHF to pit an NHL team against the European club champion.

However, Bettman overstepped his authority here, as he failed to mention that the NHLPA has not approved these games. As a result, players' union boss Paul Kelly is not pleased and said that a lot of details have yet to be worked out, especially with the IIHF, with whom the NHL is having player transfer issues. Oops. Bettman also promised that ABBA would be getting back together and playing a concert during the games in Sweden, although he hasn't actually talked to the band members yet.

In other words, Bettman sucks.

Regardless, I seriously don't know what the NHL is trying to do, besides suck as much money as they can out of hockey fans without actually improving the sport. If these games are going to count, aren't you also taking away games from season ticket holders in the process? Why don't they work on getting the average US sports fan to give a crap about the NHL, instead of outsourcing it to Europe? And as much as I like ESPN getting the shaft whenever and wherever possible, the NHL signing an extension with Versus through 2011 isn't going to exactly increase their visibility in the States.

Thanks to Barry Melrose Rocks for the photo.