Friday, January 11, 2008


Here's what you were waiting for: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE SISSY OF NHL NAMES.

Stu Barnes (C, Dallas Stars)
Radek Bonk (C, Nashville Predators) (Known to scream after every check: "You just got Bonk'd!")
Brent Burns (D, Minnesota Wild) (His middle name is NOT Monty.)
Andrew Ference (D, Boston Bruins) (Nickname "Inter". Get it?)
Trent Hunter (RW, New York Islanders) (I've visited his brother Milf's website.)
Patrick Kane (RW, Chicago Blackhawks)
Chad Kilger (C, Toronto Maple Leafs)
Georges Laraque (RW, Pittsburgh Penguins )(means "The Rock" in French. Or not.)
Colton Orr (RW, New York Rangers)
Chris Pronger (D, Anaheim Ducks)
Miroslav Satan (RW, New York Islanders) (Pronounced "sha-TAN?" Yeah right.)
Ryan Stone (C, Pittsburgh Penguins)
Stephane Yelle (C, Calgary Flames)
Branko Radivojevic (RW, Minnesota Wild) (Czech for "Bronco Nagurski".)

Johnny Boychuk (D, Colorado Avalanche) (The less I know about this name, the better.)
Dustin Byfuglien (D, Chicago Blackhawks) ("I've been called ugly, fugly, pugly, pug ugly, pug fugly . . . but not Byfuglien.")
Jonathan Cheechoo (RW, San Jose Sharks) (That's fun to say. Tee hee!)
Jeff Finger (D, Colorado Avalanche) (Hopefully not known to scream after every check: "You just got Finger'd!")
Olli Jokinen (C, Florida Panthers) ("What's so funny about me? Is it my name? Does it sound like a clown to you?")
David Legwand (C, Nashville Predators) (Insert dick joke here.)
Jonathan Quick (G, Los Angeles Kings) (Sent down to minors after a GAA of 3.86 in the NHL. In other words he's Quick, but not quick enough. Sorry. I'll show myself out.)
Jarkko Ruutu (RW, Pittsburgh Penguins) (See "Cheechoo".)
Alexander Semin (LW, Washington Capitals) (Again, I call bullshit on the pronunciation "SEM-in".)
Dan Hinote (C, St. Louis Blues) (I thought I'd end this section on a . . . oh forget it.)

Mathieu Dandenault (D, Montreal Canadiens) (Puts the "dandy" in Dandenault.)
Roman Hamrlik (D, Montreal Canadiens) (Get that outta yer mouth!)
Shane Hnidy (D, Boston Bruins) (Because it sounds like "nightie")
Jordin Tootoo (RW, Nashville Predators)
Marc-Andre Fleury (G, Pittsburgh Penguins)
Guillaume Latendresse, (RW, Montreal Canadiens) (French for "wears women's dresses".)

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