Tuesday, November 1, 2005

BLOG SIMULATED

What is the point of commercials for TVs that try to show you their incredible picture quality? Don't they realize that if I'm watching it on a crappy TV, IT'S GOING TO LOOK LIKE CRAP?!? I can understand if they're pointing out some new feature (like the Philips Ambilight), or advertising that they've dropped the price. Not only that, they're lying to us anyway, since there's always a disclaimer that says "picture simulated". So what the hell is the point? The irony is that the only person who could possibly appreciate the great ("simulated") picture is someone who doesn't need even it, and already owns a high quality TV.
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Just to remind you what a bottomless pit of nothingness current TV programming is, William Shatner has won 2 Emmys. That's right: in the final analysis of all the actors in the business, they couldn't find anyone who could possibly top ol' Bill. Twice.
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Idea for a USC football T-shirt: if you want BUSH you need the TROJANS.

(Soon-to-be-Heisman-winner Reggie Bush, that is. Get it???)

I'm sure there's a USC student silkscreening these in the basement of a frat house right now.
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The Houston Astros, in losing to the Chicago White Sox in the 2005 World Series, were the first World Series team since the 1954 Yankees without a black player on their roster. Since blacks now only represent 9% of all current baseball players, that's not an unbelieveable occurance, but it's still puzzling. Bill Simmons of ESPN Page 2 explains the reason:

[My friend] noticed something during the ALCS: The Astros don't have a single African-American player on their playoff roster. Not a one. The lesson, as always: Roger Clemens hates blacks. (I'm just kidding. He doesn't hate blacks. Just looked funny in print.) But that is pretty strange. All white guys and Latin players? I'm dying for Buck to read a graphic like, "Time for today's Old Spice Fact of the Day: The last team to win a World Series without any African-American players was the 1949 New York Yankees."

As you know, the underachieving collection of all-stars known as the 2005 New York Yankees not only lost to the Angels in the ALDS, but also somehow managed to lose 11 of 19 games to the woeful 67-95 Tampa Bay Devil Rays during the regular season. All I have to say about that is: if you don't take out the garbage, you can't complain about the stink.
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Alexei Zhitnik signed with the New York Islanders this season after 10 years with the Buffalo Sabres. Although he initially said the team was "on the top of his list" (don't they all say that, once the check clears?), he later said one of the main reasons for signing with another NY team is that he "wouldn't have to change his license" (according to Islanders Radio). That's right, he turned down potentially better offers with other hockey teams just so he wouldn't have to put up with the hassle of going to DMV! I think Mr. Bookless would agree with him, after having to make several frustrating trips to the Connecticut DMV, and the Social Security office, just to prove that "TOM BOOKLESS" and "THOMAS BOOKLESS" were the same person. Kris Salo had an easier time getting a CT license (using Tom's address) . . . and he lives in freaking FRANCE! Bureaucracy at its finest.
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Apparently, one of Viagra's new slogans is "Play hard" (or maybe this is only for those who visit the ESPN website). Oh, that's funny, because it has a double meaning! Ha ha! Sweet lord, can we put an end these dick drug ads (for any pharmaceutical product for that matter), once and for all?

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