TARXII: MEET THE NEW TAR, SAME AS THE OLD TAR

The Amazing Race is back on CBS tonight, the only "unscripted" "reality" "competition" show I can stomach. After winning every Emmy since 2003, instead of getting some respect or its own wing at CBS HQ, the show somehow was delegated to "mid-season replacement" status, and was rushed onto the air following the demise of 21 century Cop Rock ripoff Viva Laughlin. (Yes, I too am shocked it was canceled.) This is welcome news since there's fuck all besides "The Wire" reruns on my laptop.

After screwing around with All-Stars and Family themes, we're back to basics: 11 brand spanking new teams of 2. Although there's been complaints about the fact that 15 of the 22 contestants are from the L.A. area, it's by people on the interwebs who do nothing but whine. Personally, I like laughing at them, especially this team couldn't be more Cali if they tried: volleyball coach/waiter, and student/gymnastics coach/former Clippers Spirit squad member. Nathan "describes himself simply as "one cool dude." Speaking of L.A., it starts at the PLAYBOY MANSION? So why can't we get 11 teams of bunnies?

Naturally, when you say that one of the teams are "dating goths" you immediately think COMIC RELIEF. I love how they list it as if it's a race or a profession, instead of just a fashion choice. How about "married preppies" or "brother/sister mustache enthusiasts". I can almost guarantee that there's going to be some undercurrent of "we're discriminated against everywhere we go in downtown Louisville, and all 17 Starbucks won't serve us . . . without making faces" or some crap like that. You wear stupid neon clown clothes and some matching studded belts you found at Hot Topic to get attention, and you got it, so enjoy. How do you pronounce "Kynt"? Did he replace a "u" with a "y"? Ha ha, easy joke.

I'm all behind Shana & Jennifer, especially the taller one, whichever one that is. Or I WISH I were behind them, which would probably be a good view. Obvious replacements for the Beauty Queens from the past two seasons, I just nicknamed them "The Bunnies"--let's see if it sticks. There is only one East Coast team, skinny brunette "sisters" from Miami, who will not at all be bad to look at either, and Julia "describes herself as creative and witty".

As Kris pointed out, thankfully there are no young all-male shirtless metrosexual teams this time around. There'a also a black couple, and Asian father-daughter and "married [female] ministers." What, what?

My guess for the Final 3: TK & Rachel, Azaria & Henekea and the Goth Kids, Kynt & Vyxsin.

Well, here we go, time to travel vicariously (?), it's TARXII Time!

(I'm going to attempt some live bloggery, and it will probably suck.)