DEVILS ARE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999

Today is Unrestricted Free Agent signing day in the NHL, and it's like Christmas in July! I was getting excited seeing rumors of the Devils signing Brian Campbell or *gasp* Marian Hossa.

However, those haven't happened, as Campbell was given a monstrous 8 year deal by the Blackhawks, and I see my Marian walking away, possibly to Boston. Instead, TSN just announced these two doozies:

New Jersey Devils sign UFA forward Bobby Holik to a one-year contract worth $2.5 million
New Jersey signs UFA forward Brian Rolston to a four year deal worth $20.25-million

WTF? What year is this? Can Bruce Driver and Pat Verbeek be far behind? I think TSN is fucking with me.

UPDATE (7:40 PM): Nope. It's already changed on Wikipedia, so it must be true! It's also on the Devils' site. Dammit.

It's official: Lou has hit the sauce and is "drunk calling" all his former players. On that note, here are some other former Devils he could sign (with their "time served", as they say in Rahway):

Glenn "Chico" Resch
(1982-1986)



PROS: Considering he'll get virtually zero playing time as Marty's backup, his 4.00+ GAA won't be too much of a liability. (Hey, he couldn't be any scarier than Terreri.)
CONS: Since Chico has to eat something different at every home game, between him and "Fatso" there will be no food left at the Prudential Center for paying customers.

Mike D. Peluso
(1993-1996)



PROS: If Randy McKay comes out of retirement, 1995's famed "Crash Line" will finally be reunited (hey, the Ghostbusters are doing it for a videogame, so why not?). And thanks to new Tampa Bay coach Barry Melrose, the mullet is back in style. (Some say it never went out of style in Florida.)
CONS: The mullet is back in style. Oh sweet Jebus.

Brendan Shanahan
(1987-1991)



PROS: Drafted by the club in 1987 and currently on the Rangers' roster, he's already familiar with the NYC metro area.
CONS: There are none. His name is on the Cup more times than God (Shanny 3, God 0). Seriously, while we're getting all nostalgic, why the fuck not?