WRIST SHOTS: A BUSY WEEK

A lot has happened since the last semi-irregular installment of Wrist Shots, so let's get into it.

* Tom "Robot" Renney was fired as the New York Rangers coach, after losing to a terrible Toronto team in overtime, adding to the teams' recent slump. The most poignant parting video clips of him were when the Rangers tied the game with 25 seconds left, and then lost in OT: HE DIDN'T REACT AT ALL. Not a fist pump, not a grimace, not a sigh: NOTHING. Now, I know it's not necessary to show emotions to succeed as a coach (see: Joe Torre and Bill Belicheat), but this guy was a complete flat line. When asked for comment after the game, Computing Operational Athlete Control Hardware (COACH) Renney streamed the following message to the media: "010011010010010011001010." I'm sorry, but that just does not compute. When a team is reeling as badly as this one is, you have to hold someone accountable, or at least exhibit some sort of pulse, and the Renney 5000 did neither.

ROBOT BINARY SOLO!



John "Asshat" Tortorella was hired to replace him, and he immediately paid dividends last night: got Wade Redden to score his first goal since 2002! No, actually, they lost to the same terrible Toronto team, but they made it all the way to the goal-off shootout this time, so they're much improved. (Hey, Torts can't score goals for them . . . or can he?) It remains to be seen if the players decide they want to play for their new coach; regardless, I'll be DVRing all of the press conferences hoping to catch a random expletive. If the Rangers fail to make the playoffs, next up on the chopping block: Glen Sather. I heard a comment on XM the other day that he's starting to make Isiah Thomas' tenure at MSG look competent by comparison. Ouch.

* Meanwhile, somewhere in western New York/southern Ontario last Saturday, Sabres goalie Ryan "Genuine Draft" Miller sprained his ankle on an unfortunate, but not intentional, collision behind the net with Gomez. If he's hurt for an extended length of time, there go the Sabres' playoff chances. (Though even a limping Miller with one arm could probably outduel Fleury at this point.) While backup Patrick Lalime is a known entity (as in: we know he's medicore at best), who the hell is Jhonas Enroth? Is he one of the Jhonas Brothers? The one Miley Cyrus let get to 2nd base? Whoever he is, he's apparently not as good as a flu-laden Lalime. Not a good sign.

* In happy news for Devils fans (e.g. me), Martin Brodeur is back. His rehabbed arm will be tested tonight against the Avs, and I will be there in The Rock to witness it. He claims to be "in the best shape of his life", and in fact switched from bacon double cheeseburgers to bacon double turkey burgers. (I keed, I keed, because I love.) At this point, with 22 games left and a respectable playoff spot well within reach, I just want him to play well. I'm not asking for him to be shutout-brickwall-Vezina Marty . . . at least until the playoffs. Even though he had to be sent down to the minors as a result of taking Brodeur off IR, let's never forget Scott Clemmenson. His name is Scott Clemmenson.

His name is Scott Clemmenson!

(BTW, I did the math, and it would be cheaper to drive to Newark and park for $20 than to take the train--which is annoying since I'd PREFER to take the train. If they really wanted to give us an incentive to take mass transit, I should get a discount on the train just for showing my hockey ticket. But alas.)

LET'S GO MARTY! LET'S GO DEVILS!

(LET'S HOPE MY CAR IS STILL THERE AFTER THE GAME!)

We don't do a "Saves of the Year" here, but maybe we should. This stick save by Kiprusoff, stopping a sure Kyle Wellwood goal en route to a 4-3 goal-off Canucks win, is just amazing.

WRIST SHOTS: LISTEN TO THE DOC

I'll admit it: I'm in a Marty funk. Devils games just don't have the same allure without #30 in between the pipes, especially when they face the Rangers tonight (It's Henrik versus . . . some other guy!). Sunday night's matchup between the Devils/Oilers featuring Clemmenson and Drowning-Delaioueiourois (sp?) was a low point for me.

However, every once in a while a game comes along and reminds me why I love this sport. Tuesday's rematch of last season's Cup finalists, the Red Wings and Penguins, lived up to the hype thanks to a furious finish by the latter. After being outshot 26-14 by the defending champs over the first 2 periods, and being down 5-2 and 6-4 in the game, Jordan Staal (finally) woke up and netted a hat trick in the 3rd, the final coming with 0:22.8 left to tie it 6-6. In OT, said Staal suavely stole the puck and fed Fedotenko for the winner with 1:11 left to seal it 7-6. This is why I watch this game. (And I'm glad it was a real shootout not decided by a fake shootout.)

After seeing Ozzy and MAF give up a total of 13 goals on 68 shots (34 apiece), maybe we don't need more rules and equipment changes to increase scoring, we just need more mediocre goalies. Marty Turco is certainly doing his part to raise the league average GAA. If you haven't seen this early Xmas gift he gave the Sharks yet, this is a microcosm of his season so far.



Speaking of Mr. Brodeur, this report regarding his surgery is officially weird: Report: Devils G Brodeur previously tore tendon. So are we saying he won a Vezina last year with a partially torn tendon in his arm? Or did all the fat jokes inspire him to workout in the offseason, and the injury was a result of lifting weights and overdoing it? (As this article posits, you can BLAME AVERY, or Puck Daddy, for all the donut jokes.) Regardless, I say he's going to be out for the year. Marty's done. Thanks for coming to Newark and drive safely!

This article is also interesting: "Lundqvist hoping to avoid injury bug". No, we don't want to jinx Henrik or anything. He's fine. What are the odds that he'll get hurt too? Pretty slim, right? It won't happen. Probably not. Forget we even brought it up, wrote about it, and put it online. It's not a big deal, because hockey players aren't superstitious. Nah.

* As for the other injured local goalie, what is the real story with Rick DiPietro? I realize that when you sign a player for 15 years, you have to take into account the possibility of losing him to injuries--but this is ridiculous. He's undergone surgeries on both hips and both knees (and suffered a concussion) in the 2+ years since he signed that ridiculous contract, which is a lot for a 27 year old player. Add to that the fact that his crappy ownership maybe put too much pressure on him by making him the man (and giving up on countless quality players around him), and Garth Snow is an invisible GM that apparently was only hired to be Ricky's life partner. This is a sorry franchise, and I almost feel awful that DiPietro has to be a part of it for the rest of his career, if he ever returns to the ice.

* Hockey announcer Mike "Doc" Emrick was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame this week and rightfully so. His play-by-play call is effortless, informative without being overwhelming, and entertaining without being flashy. Most of all, the crescendo in his voice during the height of action is impeccible; I can't even tell you how many Brodeur saves and Devils goals (and non-Devils plays) were made just a little bit better thanks to his announcing. I was also amazed by his ability to name all the foreign players during the Winter Olympics. By all accounts he's a consumate pro and an incredibly personable guy. Congratulations, Doc!

WRIST SHOTS: BRODEUR TO UNDERGO SURGERY

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

Devils goaltender Martin Brodeur to undergo surgery

Preliminary reports have him missing 3 -4 months. This is basically every Devils fan's worst nightmare come true. I just knew drafting him on my fantasy team would be the kiss of death. Well, since they rely on him more than any other team leans on their goalie, I'd have to say, "There goes the season". Ladies and gentlemen, your 2007-2008 Stanley Cup Champions, the New York Rangers!!! (Or insert your team name.)

I was going to complain about how NHL.com stole my Marty Watch idea (they saw my blog, obviously, and renamed it "Brodeur Watch"; see right), but none of that matters now. Now we're looking at weeks and weeks of Kevin Weekes, with Scott Clemmenson to back him up--a not-so-dynamic duo.

What do they do now? Do they hope the backups can do their job in the meantime? Can they take Clemmenson and make Clemmenade? And after that doesn't pan out, will Lou acquiesce and get someone's cast off like Khabibulin or Fernandez or god only knows who? Will anyone show up to games at The Rock this winter (I won't)?

Add to this depressing news a weak defense that doesn't take the body or clear out the crease, an anemic offense, two questionable free agent signings already on the IR (Holik and Rolston), and this looks like a team that is severely screwed. I saw them as a 5/6 East seed WITH Marty; without him playing again until March, I don't see them making the playoffs at all.

Puck Daddy has a good article entitled "10 Biggest Aftershocks From Martin Brodeur's Injury". Hailing from Matawan (one town over from where I grew up), he nailed us Devils fans in this incredibly accurate description: "Devils fans are born cynics, both due to our systemic inferiority complexes and Jersey breeding." Exactly.

Fuck. This is the worst thing to happen to the Devils and Marty since Stephane Matteau got a lucky deflection off Fetisov's skate.

Hurry back, Marty.

WRIST SHOTS: MARTY QUICKIES

Yesterday, I watched the Devils dominate the Rangers in the 1st period, putting up a two-spot and outshooting them 11-2. It seemed like a playoff atmosphere at The Rock, and I found myself getting wrapped up in it. Then just 0:19 into the 2nd period, Brodeur gave up a goal and put them right back in the game. What a giant boner, Marty!

I just knew the Strangers were going to end up tying it (or worse), so I turned off the TV and went for a jog. I'm going to go through enough frustration during their upcoming playoff series, so why start agonizing early? In the end, they ended up tied in regulation, which was enough for NJ to get home ice. What followed was the most anti-climactic overtime and shootout in the history of the NHL (which I also skipped, and which NJ won by the fake score of 3-2). I guess you had to be there.

But that quick goal got me to thinking: how many goals less than a minute into a period has Brodeur given up? He seems to do it quite often, as if he's not ready or properly focused for some odd reason. Here's the complete game log for this season, and when he gave up these 'quickies':

10/13 @ATL Won 6-5 - 0:22 2nd
10/16 @PIT Won 5-4 - 0:52 2nd
10/25 @NYR Lost 0-2 - 0:57 1st
11/17 @PHI Won 6-2 - 0:27 3rd
11/24 @TB Won 3-2 - 0:35 2nd, 0:36 3rd
12/9 @NYR Lost 0-1 (OT) - 0:30 OT
12/16 PHI Won 4-2 - 0:40 2nd
1/12 @BUF Won 3-2 (SO) - 0:58 1st
1/24 MON Lost 3-4 - 0:29 3rd
2/10 SJ Won 3-2 - 0:35 2nd
2/29 WAS Lost 0-4 - 0:43 3rd
4/2 BOS Won 3-2 (SO) - 0:37 2nd
4/6 NYR Won 3-2 (SO) - 0:19 2nd

In 76 starts, he's done this 14 times, and only 2 on a power play. I don't know if that's a high or low number compared to other goalies, but it seems to be above average, and it's happened enough times to annoy me. The good news is that they win 9 out of 14 games in which he does this.

I'm not sure why I posted this, but I guess what I'm saying is: PAY ATTENTION, MARTY! Sheesh.

As much as I wanted to see one of these games in person, I just can't afford it right now ($100 ticket +$20 parking + tolls/gas, since I will never take the train there again). Of course, the arena will probably be about 30% filled with Rangers fans, unfortunately.

UPDATE (1:30 PM): Though the ROCK tix are already on sale, the Game 3 and 4 tickets at MSG go on sale tomorrow at noon. Hmm, wonder if any will actually be available . . .

TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO MARTY LIKE IT'S 2002

After Kris decided to dust off his SORNY Playstation (the newest gaming technology available in France, apparently) and play some NHL 2000 on his new SORNY TV (and brag about beating the Devils, and about how much better his fake Sabres team is vs. the real one), I decided that I had to reply. Little did he know that he's stirred the pot, awoken the beast and created a monster: last night I found my PC copy of NHL 2002. This could get ugly.

I haven't played it in about 3 years, and it was pretty funny seeing Super Mario (Lemieux, not the Nintendo star) on the cover. While not as immediately enjoyable as NHL '94, graphically stunning as NHL 2001 for PS2, or as slick and shiny as NHL 08, this game was fun to play, not overly glitchy and endlessly customizable. I even had my "ditties" (clips of songs you upload that play during stoppages) still on the hard drive. While NHL 98 was an excellent showcase of what a PC hockey game could be, this edition may have been the last solid NHL game that EA released on the PC.

However, it wasn't a simple process to just "play a game" on my old computer. First, I had to reinstall it, and find the old box which had the EA registration code on it (ugh). Then I had to find a driver for the gamepad (which I had actually bought as a backup but never used), and download the newest rosters I could find (2005-06 season). Was it worth it? Yes it was. (Or was it?)

I set up a quick game of Sabres @ Devils at the Continental Breakfast Arena, playing at difficulty level 2 (it goes from 1 to 4, where 4 = frigging impossible). As I began to play I realized that this was the first NHL videogame I've ever played where I didn't have Scott Stevens playing D for the Devils--and I didn't like it at all. One thing I did notice that always bothered me about the game is the weird computer AI whenever one of their wingers skates towards the goal with the puck. Instead of going directly at the goal, 80% of the time the player would skate straight north-south (as if he was in a bubble hockey slot) to almost the goal line, and then make a sharp right angle cut. If you could hit him or knock him off the puck before he was able to get off a pass into the slot, you were fine. If you didn't, there was a good chance they'd score a one-timer goal. Very odd. Also, the goalies are pretty dumb about covering up the puck around the crease, and seem to ignore it while it sits on the outside of the net. Otherwise, it's a solid game (if you can ignore Don Taylor's silly color commentary).

As I was slowly relearning the game controls on the weird new (to me) gamepad, I was getting badly outshot/outhit (I had a lot of shots AT goal, which dammit, NHL 2002 doesn't keep track of). On one side, you had a great Sabres squad with Drury, Danielle and Maxim for Men (who must have a "speed rating" of 99). The home team was a so-so Devils group, with Gomez, Gionta and Madden, but also Grant Marshall (on the first line?), Mogilny (who barely played that season) and Kozlov (who in typical Russian fashion, dogged it all year) and spotty defense. However, the Devils still had Marty in goal so it all added up to a 4-0 shutout. (Sounds like their entire team history since 1994.) I checked later, and the Devils' team rating was actually one point higher than Buffalo, though seemed like they didn't have as much talent. I made Miller look silly on a Gomez breakaway, and on the final Langenbrunner goal, which he seemed to give up on (realism!) standing almost straight up as the puck sailed by like a Frisbee. He also looked silly wearing a black/red mask and pads with the blue/gold 3rd jersey, but that's not important when your save % is only .810.






Once I remember how to play (and lay down the BIG HIT), I'm going to switch to a higher difficulty level and perhaps start a playoff tournament with all of this season's teams in the mix.

(Anyone out there have the latest rosters for 2007-08?)

WRIST SHOTS: BATTLE FOR THE ATLANTIC!

This is what my latest Devils Dispatch email is dramatically calling the final stretch. With only 8 points separating the bottom team from the top (ignoring the Islanders, of course), we haven't seen a battle for the Atlantic this huge since the Spanish Armada clashed with the British in 1588. And we all know how that turned out, with the Spaniards being kicked out of the pantry.

It starts tonight with the Rangers at the ROCK. The Devils haven't been able to figure out the Blueshirts this season, losing all 5 so far. Here's the breakdown of the interdivisional games left for the four teams still in the hunt.

New Jersey (9 of 10 remaining games): NYR, NYI, @PIT, PIT, @NYR, PHI, @NYI, @PHI, NYR
N.Y. Rangers (9/9): @NJ ,@PHI ,PHI, NJ, @PIT, PIT, @NYI, NYI, @NJ
Pittsburgh: (8/9): NJ, @NYI, @NJ, NYI, NYR, @NYR, PHI, @PHI
Philadelphia: (8/8): NYR, NYI, @NYR, @NJ, @NYI, @PIT, NJ, PIT

For the Devils, the main team in their way of the division crown is the Pittsburgh Crosbys. It remains to be seen when he will be back to save hockey once again, hopefully it will be on the game of the week on NBC: NOTHING BUT CROSBY! For the Rangers, the biggest obstacle is, as always, the Rangers. Oh, and phuck the Flyers. I really don't want to see them and Danielle's -30 plus/minus in the playoffs.

As for the rest of the Wales . . . looking at the standings a few weeks ago, you could assume that Florida was dead, losing 8 of 10 and sinking like a dead marlin. But with wins in their last 7 (including two in OT) they are suddenly in the playoff race? Though it's probably too little too late, I suppose it's great for the fans. But I hate how teams can go on massive losing streaks, play horrible hockey for months on end, and still be right in the postseason hunt. Philthy has come back from the dead at least 4 times this season; the Rangers lost 8 of 10 in January, and then won 10 of 13 last month to continue their rollercoaster ride; Buffalo has been listless for the first 3/4 of the season, including a 10 game winless streak, go a mediocre 9-11 since the beginning of February, then win 2 lopsided games this past weekend (vs. CAR and @TOR), and they're right back in it! It's absurd. Why go out there and bust your buns every night? Just have a good month or two, and you're fine! (At least in the Wales, where most of the teams can't get out of their own way.) As I've said before, the point system is fatally flawed, and it's merely rewarding mediocrity. (Don't even get me started with Edmonton and all the points they've gotten from the skills competition shootout.)

I'll close this out with some Marty, who doesn't get enough recognition. This photo is from the new "My NHL, My Cup" promotional ads. Why is everything is "my", from My Yahoo to MyFox? Oh, so you watched your team win the Cup. What did YOU do?



I may start to sound like a homer here, but I don't care. Last Saturday afternoon in a 4-2 win in Colorado, en route to his 40th win Marty made some ridiculous saves. While the chicken wing block (0:24) was nice, none was quite as fun to watch as the stick save from behind his back (1:13 in, 14:15 left in the 2nd).



Of course, the NHL Video highlight reel absolutely sucks (why can't these jackasses make quality video available?), so here's the Top 10 Saves of the Week (check out #3 at the 3:00 mark).

Yes, it's fun to watch Marty. And afterwards he humbly said, "I got lucky on a few of those." How can you hate the guy? He's the exact opposite of Patrick Roy, whose giant inflated head didn't even fit in his helmet.