CAVEAT EMPTOR, ASSHAT

I'm cynical, probably too cynical. In any case, I know that I pay more attention than most and I usually see things from a jaded point of view. But even when I can step back and try to not allow my cynicism to cloud every aspect of my judgment of others, I still wonder how people can be naive.

Here in France the consumer (for the seller) rates somewhere between a rock and that piece of shit that you stepped in on your way to the store, but the government fully protects your right to be ignorant, stupid and otherwise worthless. However, people still manage to feel like they've been taken advantage. Case in point: TVs.

When I bought my SORNY, I did the research, I looked around, I found the right price for the right TV. I tried to inform myself as much as possible about the different norms and such. The current norm for SD digital TV broadcasts is mpeg2. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your POV, I guess), HD can not be broadcast over the mpeg2 norm. I don't know why. I don't give a flying fuck why. For the roll-out (scheduled for early summer 2008) of HD OTA broadcasts a new mpeg4 norm is going to be used. The digital tuners that were in 99% of the flat screen TVs sold until the end of 2007 only process mpeg2. Which means that you can't get HD OTA on most TVs. Allegedly they are going to start selling mpeg4 tuners (or converters or something) that will slide into the PCMCIA slot on the back of most recent-generation TVs.

This isn't enough for some people, who cry foul. They claim that the TV manufacturers purposefully sold under-equipped their equipment to try to get more money from you later on. Despite the fact that this is absolutely idiotic because the TV manufacturers will not manufacture or distribute these cards, so fucking what if they did? As with anything, the point is to sell the product. Just because a product is classed "HD Ready" or "Full HD" (which like gas mileage estimates are government-determined classifications), doesn't mean that it can wash your laundry or act as a sexual aide in the bedroom (which BTW are now sold in the toothbrush aisle at my local supermarket, no shitting).

My problem is two-fold: 1) The government couldn't pull their heads out of their asses for long enough to decide until mid-2007 what standardized norm they were going to use for HD OTA broadcasts and 2) French consumers spent 4 billion euros on HD "products" in 2007. At least a few of those people must have been well-enough informed to know that their mpeg2 tuner wouldn't work, yet they pulled the trigger (I knew and I did it too). Yet you have these asshats whose sole goal in life is to bitch and whine and moan and claim that everything that has happened to them is the fault of others. It's called capitalism asshole. The companies do not have you in mind when they sell you that product. They have the almighty ollar in mind.

These are the same people who buy the cheapest TV or car or Total Excellium and then they bitch because it doesn't work.

Man, I hate people.

RANDOM YOUTUBERY: WE'RE ALL DOOMED

Today's the last day of April. To celebrate this non-event, I'm posting the most watched video on Youtube for the month.

10,558,655 people watched Centrium-Silver-consumer-Madonna dance with her could-be son, Justin Timberlake over the past month...That's probably more people than watched playoff hockey.

I didn't like Madonna in the 80s. I didn't like her in the 90s and I hoped that moving to England and popping out Guy Ritchie's spawn would mean that I would have to avoid her in the latter part of the this decade. Meh.

I didn't watch this, but I'm sure it's terrible

BRILLIANCE IN ADVERTISING

Frequently when advertisers make commercials they use statistics to prove something or other. However, TotalElfFina has outdone themselves:

The latest version of this Total Excellium ad (I did not upload this or write the subtitles) that has been running in France has the greatest advertising stat that I have ever seen (without exaggeration).

At the very end, they run a text line that says: "Over 4-million consumers estimate that they get better mileage when they use Total Excellium."

THAT IS FUCKING BRILLIANT. You just spent 30% more for fucking gas that has been "reformulated" and we're now asking if you think you made a rational choice.
Despite being constantly accosted by this type of ad, Julie continues to accuse me of being too cynical. How can you not be cynical; about advertising, but worse about the humans that swallow this merde. It must work, if a huge multinational like Total is spending money to "get the word out."

Humanity is so fucked.

CRISATUNITY : TURNING CRISIS INTO OPPORTUNITY

[Edit: Fixed the Simpsons reference in the title]

I don't know much about this whole plastic "scare" that's been going around teh interwebs. Someone told me a while ago (~2 years) that you shouldn't drink bottled water that's been sitting around for a long time because of chemicals in the bottles (and this article is from May/June 2006), which means someone had an idea that it was dangerous well before last week. From the NY Times article about this:

While there is debate about how much of a health worry BPA really is, retailers including Wal-Mart have said they are withdrawing baby products made with it. Nalgene, the maker of a popular sports bottle, and the baby-products maker Playtex have announced they will stop using it.

Of-fucking-course. Now all you assholes who bought baby bottles or any other fucking food receptacle that was made out of plastic need to go back to Wal-Mart and buy another one. QUICKLY DAMNIT YOUR BABY'S LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!