I'm rooting for a big snowstorm so I can hire the Chicago Blackhawks Ice Crew to do some shoveling for me.
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Here's a shot of one of the poor girls having to clean up souvenir "fire helmets" (excellent idea, promotions department) after a Toews hat trick.
It's January, so who better to paste up here than January Jones, who plays Betty Draper on the critically acclaimed/incredibly depressing TV series Mad Men. I take her to be a mature, sensible, intelligent woman, so I'm sure she doesn't HATE pants, she's just open to the possibility of not ever wearing them.
Oh wait, she dated Ashton Kutcher. FOR FOUR YEARS. Never mind, she's a total dingbat. But alas, she looks damn good when she shakes off those pants. 
Wait, these pictures are the Vanity Fair outtakes? Oh that's right, their editors are most likely gay. I'm guessing the pictures that made the cut are ones of her wearing a giant poncho, baggy jeans and a ski mask. 
When was January born? In May, of course. No, just kidding, she turned 31 on Monday. HAPPY JANUARY BIRTHDAY, JANUARY!
With a name like "Blake Lively", you have very limited career choices: singer, actress, talk show host, fashion designer, toy dog salesperson, stripper, porn star--that's about it. Well, it just so happens she stars on the show Gossip Girl and, as a result, is a gossip column target. Oh, the irony.
[Photo courtesy of What Would Tyler Durden Do?]
The two things I've enjoyed watching immensely this month are Mad Men and Italian Spiderman. I know what you're going to say, but oddly enough they have a lot more in common than you might think. They both were conceived and filmed in the past year, yet both take place in the 1960s in a carefree, misogynistic world that men (not so) secretly wish still existed. Both are focused around an enigmatic, suave, and powerful leading man who does what he wishes with females, smokes and drinks heavily, and will step on whomever he must to get ahead. One might be more Cary Grant while the other is more Jack Black, but both are unmistakably 100% man.
However, only one has a kick ass moustache.
That lascivious lady tickler belongs to Italian Spiderman, who parodies such movies as Turkish Star Wars (Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam), dubbed and circulated VHS tapes decades ago and given a second life on the internet. In his world in 1968, he treats women with respect yet simultaneously keeps them in their place, as he demands they prepare his macchiatos, pronto!
Mad Men's Don Draper is a mellifluous voiced mystery, sporting a Brylcreamed hairdo and a no-nonsense business acumen. In 1960, he and his Madison Avenue advertising cohorts are on the top of the world, living a swinging life of unlimited booze and broads. He keeps women in check telling them such things as, "What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons."
These two mavericks live in a world we can only enjoy vicariously. Which is a good thing, since if we tried to live like them now, we'd get kicked in the collective balls.
Season 2 of Mad Men premieres July 27 at 10 PM ET. Part Two of Italian Spiderman coming soon.
Even the Yankees' Jason Giambi is fashioning his look after The Italian Spiderman.
Mad Men [Official AMC Site]
Basket of Kisses - The Lipp Sisters' Unofficial Mad Men Blog
Alrugo Pictures Site
Alrugo Blog
Alrugo [MySpace]
Italian Spiderman [MySpace]
If I had a dime for every "swimsuit-model-turned-actress" there's ever been, I'd have a whole shitload of dimes. How many swimsuit-models-turned-actresses have won the Oscar? Zero. That's why next year they should have an award for Best Swimsuit Model Turned Actress; I might actually tune in.
Since the unofficial start of the summer season, Memorial Day, is upon us, what better time to declare your hatred for pants and sport that bikini, ladies? Here's SI swimsuit model Michelle Lombardo who has acted in something or other, probably.
She's got that smile that says, "You know, I don't really HATE pants, but I really prefer not to wear them, you know?"
Michelle Lombardo [#59 on AskMen's 2008 Top 99 Women]
I don't know who Misa Campo is, and I don't care. All I know is she's 50% Phillipino, 50% Dutch, and 100% hot.
It also appears that she hates pants and steadfastly refuses to wear them.
LET'S GO HABS! (Whoops, too late.)
Yeah, I'm exhausted after that too.
Misa Campo [MySpace site]
Official Site
By an overwhelming margin (32%) you voted for more "broads" on this website, and we're all about giving you what you want here on the Open Hockey Blog. So here's Emma Watson, who plays li'l Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies. Most importantly, she just turned 18 today!
Yeah, she's not really that "hot" compared to Those Who Hate Pants, but I like to think of her as Lindsay Lohan's straight-laced, pasty-white British cousin (you've all been forced to watch the remake of The Parent Trap, right?). She's the Anti-Lohan! That is, until she moves to Hollywood and gets all whored up. Look for that to happen once the Harry Potter checks stop coming.
One quick question: once a chick becomes legal, is it okay to leer at pictures of her taken when she was younger? I need a ruling on this, because I've got some pictures of Hayden Panettiere (who turned legal last August) on file.
This is Megan Fox and from all indications (and Google image searches) she appears to dislike pants immensely. She's an "actress" who appeared in The Transformers "movie", or so I'm told by the interwebs. I'm not planning on ever watching it, but I can attest to the fact that she transformed my loose jeans into a pair that is significantly tighter in the crotch area.
Whenever I see a link for "megan fox wet bare feet", there is a 100% chance that I'm clicking on it. I predict that this will be the downfall of our country, wherein a not-too-web-savvy future President clicks on a similar link, and unbeknownst to him it will accidentally launch a thousand nukes, release cyanide into the water supply, or erase the database for every bank in the entire world (possibly all three).
But I digress. The bottom line is: Megan is quite a Fox! (See what I did there? Clever, eh?)
(Now, to throw some cold water on this post: the 21 year old actress is engaged to 34 year old "Beverly Hills 90210" assclown Brian Austin Green. I also predict, judging by her tattoos, nip slips and plastic surgery, that she will hit the wall hard and become the next Tara Reid.)
I should write something witty and LOLable, like Kammann would...but I won't...I'm covering the Don't You Hate Pants this week since Kammann just didn't show up...rumors of drinking during snowstorms or some bullshit.
Anyway, it's Sunday morning so my brain is officially in the "Off" position...I'm just posting a picture of Mlle Johansson for your viewing pleasure.
Oh and finally a GPS system that makes some sense...I don't fucking care where the nearest McDonald's is (except maybe to stay away) and I could care less that my gas is "Texaco" or "Mobil" brand...well except Citgo of course...commie motherfuckers. But let's say for a minute that you've driven to Cleveland, OH...who knows why...who fucking cares. But now you're in Cleveland with nothing to do...You could go see the Browns stadium, I guess, but you need to do something more worthwhile with your time. Introducing NUDAR, a company that basically turns your GPS unit into the "MILF Hunter." You're looking for a topless juice bar at lunch time? No problem...All Nude Girls? Ok! Barely legal? Gotcha covered. The best in local prostitution? Umm, there may be something illegal there...check with your lawyer.
Anyway, NUDAR is an add-on for your Garmin, TomTom or Magellan that will lead you to the nude or semi-nude joint of your choosing.
Anyway, [NUDAR (NSFW) via Jalopnik]
