WRIST SHOTS: YOU'RE THE INSTIGATION

I haven't watched a lot of hockey this week, but with a 4 day weekend and FREE NHL NETWORK, you can expect that to change. Anyway, here are various hockey related things that are bugging me this week:

* Scoring is down slightly from last year, which brings up the same tired argument. NOTE TO NHL: Please do not mess with the size of the nets, or the pucks, or whatever it is you're proposing to increase scoring. If you have to do anything, make the goalies pads even smaller than they are. But please, I don't want to see any other of these ridiculous changes, because then it's a totally different game, and all scoring and goaltending records can be thrown out the window. Even Bill Clement (Clement, Hands of Cement) on XM Radio said he's all for making hockey "entertainment" over just being a sport, and that's precisely what's ruined the NBA and MLB. Just look at this picture of a proposed net:



This was dreamed up back in 2005 and seriously, what the fuck is that? A golf practice net? Why not put up a giant hammock and have the goalie lay in it? I believe there's several places you can buy one of those; in fact, they're all in the Hammock District. And you can put big, shiny bullseye targets in the corners too! And when they're hit with the puck they explode and make slide-whistle noises! Wow, that would be so entertaining. Remember: a 6-5 game isn't necessarily more entertaining than a 2-1 game, just because there are more goals.

* I hate this "slashing" call they've been making a lot lately in which the player chops down and breaks an opponent's stick, yet doesn't touch the player at all. These crap sticks snap in two like dry linguine without the slightest provocation, and this total lack of quality should not result in 2 minute penalty.

* I have to say that the novelty of the shootout has officially worn off. The Devils/Rangers played one a few weeks back, and after the OT I changed the channel, washed some dishes and when I returned the postgame show was already on. Oops. It just doesn't grip me anymore. I really, really hope they don't put it in the playoffs.

* The Isles have won 8 of the last 11 games vs. the Rangers, including the last 3 straight. This isn't even funny anymore. I'm out of jokes to describe how absurd it is that they can get up for these games, yet they play mediocre hockey the rest of the season. Although, the addition by subtraction by getting rid of Yashin might help them in the long run.

* It seems like the Devils score just enough to lose. Points-wise, Elias and Gionta finally caught up to Madden and Pandolfo, but it never should have been like that to begin with. At least Parise is playing well, but Marty has been less than stellar, with a save percentage uncharacteristically under .900. Man, this is a frustrating team to watch, but it could be worse: I could be a Sabres fan.

* Frequent instigator Sean Avery is constantly called a "pest", which I assume must mean he's gay. Even Darcy Tucker is appalled by things he may or may not have said. It's only a matter of time before someone "outs" him on the ice by calling him some homosexual slur, possibly the "F" word. No, not "fuck", the other one.

* Chicago is back!



Oh sorry, not the band who brought you "You're The Inspiration" (yes, Peter Cetera, the original goth, is wearing a fucking BAUHAUS T-shirt in that video), I'm referring to the Blackhawks, who are currently in 4th place in the Campbell. I told you that they'd be good! Okay, maybe I didn't say that explicitly, but I was hoping they would be and I'm enjoying their resurgence. And when you've got youngsters like Kane and Sharp playing . . . uhm, sharp hockey, who needs Sidney?