Monday, December 10, 2007


For some reason, I was thinking about some of the New Years Eves that I've had. I think it's because I supposed to rent a tux for this year's...I don't think that that is going to happen...What the fuck! I have a nice wool suit and nice leather shoes...Why do I want to some polyester shit and plastic shoes that 400 other fucks have puked in? Fuck that...I still think the hosts should be happy that I don't show up in jeans and "Kiss me I'm Irish" t-shirt. Anyway, enough tangents.

December 31, 1996. My first news years home since I'd graduated from high school. I brought my then-current girlfriend to the backwoods of central New York. Some high school buddies of mine were getting together at one guys house, so we go along...For some reason the TV wasn't working so we watched countdown in black&white snow. The new year goes off without a hitch and then around 2am, for some reason my old classmate put his fist through the wall in his brother's room. We all laughed, as drunks are wont to do at 2am-well everyone laughed but the brother. He went and got a shotgun. Then he got shotgun shells. Then he loaded said shotgun with said shells. Then he crunched the pump and put the muzzle on his brother's chest and started screaming something.

What happened next is a bit hazy in my mind...I remember my girlfriend screaming at me to do something (that wasn't going to happen - I don't want to see anyone shot, but I'll be goddamned that I'm going to step between two angry brothers and a gun), I remember the third brother laughing and saying that the one holding the gun didn't have the balls to pull the trigger (I'm really not kidding here). After that I don't remember what happened. The trigger was not pulled, of that I'm sure. I got the feeling that this wasn't the first time that this type of thing had taken place.
Brother #2 (target) is now a cop in CT. Brother #3 (taunter) is a small business owner in upstate NY. Brother #1 (potential shooter) - I do not know what happened to him. Last time I heard he was still alive and non-incarcerated.

While upstate NY may not be West Virginia, there are certain aspects that are Deliverance-esque. It's not all cider mills and foilage.


Jeff K said...

That's heartwarming stuff, Kris. Just perfect, with the holidays coming up and all that.

I can't say I have a really memorable New Years story (besides drinking the "12 Greatest Brews of the World"). Certainly not one that beats that.

Kris said...

I already forgot the "12 Greatest Brews of the World". Was the 2 years ago already...holy shit.

I honestly just remembered that New Years Eve this past week, but figured it was good to share before the Christmas season. Remember, no matter how much you mother is bugging you, she doesn't have a shotgun to your chest!