Monday, December 17, 2007


This is the last Top 10 of 2007. Enjoy!

10. It's not supposed to get above 30° today, which in meteorological terms is "fucking freezing". I have to say that the snow looks amazing; because there was a little ice/rain at the end of the snowstorm on Sunday, there is a glistening, frozen shell over everything. My first thought was: how far could I putt a golf ball across that?

9. You know the little bag that a Lipton teabag comes in? What's that called? A teabag bag? I wonder if that's on the FAQ.

8. I went to the bar three days last week, at least one of those trips was in order to get a discount to join the gym from one of the bartenders (name withheld). After all that drinking, I never got the form from her (okay, her name is Stalky McStalkerson). I guess that means I have to drink EVEN MORE so eventually I can join up. Ironic, isn't it?

7. After two seasons, Ricky Gervais' "Extras" wrapped up with a "series finale special" the way a quality show is supposed to. Not only did it make a statement about the vacuous, empty lives of celebrities, it also left its two main characters on an 'up' note (unlike the depressing BBC version of "The Office"). In other words, something ACTUALLY HAPPENED on the show's series finale, unlike "The Sopranos". Plus, George Michael and Clive Owen did hilarious, self-deprecating cameos, and where else are you going to find that?

6. Barry Zuckerkorn > Arthur Fonzerelli.

5. The Giants suck. They lost to the pathetic Redskins last night, powered by Elisha Manning's 18/52 for 184 performance, his 34 incompletions being the worst shitshow since Joe "I Wanna Kiss You" Namath did it in 1967. Why do I bother? What a shitastic team this 2007 squad is. I've said I'm not talking about Coughlin anymore until he's fired, but of course he won't since they'll back into the playoffs because the NFC is god awful.

4. I am tired of Xmas shopping. I had to buy something at TJ Maxx last week, and they invariably have the world's slowest lines--it made me want to stab someone in the neck. And for some reason, every time I have to return something at Target there's always some elderly person in front of me that wants to return something without a receipt that they bought from a Montgomery Ward catalogue from 1959 and still expect to get cash back for. Oh, and from now on, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO WRITE CHECKS. Get a free debit card, it will save everyone time, for Christ's sake. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

3. HBO's "The Wire" is a better crime drama than "The Sopranos". Period. The acting is better, the story lines more interesting, and overall it's a hell of a lot more realistic. And technically speaking, "The Sopranos" never spent that much time on the actual crime, it was always A.J. crying or some nonsense about Meadow's boyfriend--gah! Anyway, I'm halfway through Season 2, and trying to catch up in time for Season 5 which starts in less than a month (Jan 6, 2008). Wish me luck.

2. Note to people who don't clean off their car roof before driving on the highway: screw you. If I see you walking behind me at the store, I'm going to randomly throw ice cubes over my shoulder at your head. Maybe you can swerve out of the way of them, maybe you can't. Either way, I would suggest wearing a helmet.

1. Zooey Deschanel rocks. Here's a clip of her from the movie "Elf" singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" (with Will Ferrell). I wouldn't mind the cold outside if Zooey was in my shower.

No comments: