Saturday, December 15, 2007


In the epic battle between the 3-10 Jets vs. the 13-0 Patriots, a game for the ages in which the Patriots were initially favored by 27 points--ahhh, who are we kidding? This is going to be a complete shitshow. I'll tune in, but I'm really just praying for a snowstorm, a season-ending injury and a possible fist fight between coaches.

How could the NFL make this game more competitive? We asked the experts (ourselves) and here's some of their proposals:

  • When Patriots have the ball, they have a “shot clock”: they have to score or turn the ball over in 24 seconds. (Rob)
  • Patriots have to play with sausage in their pockets while wild dogs run free on the field. (Rob)
  • 3 times per half, Jets are allowed to call time and stop the action at any point during the play. (Rob)
  • When the Jets are on offense, a Wilson Pee Wee size football is used. When Patriots are on offense, a cannonball is used. (Rob)
  • Tom Brady will be "steady QB" (he has to play for both sides). (Karl)
  • Patriots offense must wear blindfolds. (Jeff K)
  • Jets offense: first down = 5 pts. (Jeff K)
  • Patriots defense must shout out 7 "Mississippis" before rushing the QB. (Jeff K)
  • Jets defense can use two-hand touch. (Jeff K)
  • Jets and Pats cheerleaders both allowed on the field of play. (Karl)
  • Randy Moss must get shock collar, [Jets' coach] Mangini gets to hold the remote trigger. (Karl)
  • For a touch of realism, the Patriots can only wear clothing made before 1776, including those stupid tri-corner hats instead of helmets, while the Jets are allowed to advance the ball by using actual jets. (Jeff K)
  • Jets get extra points for "clown catches". For example, diving catch = 3 points. A diving catch in end zone = 7 x 3 = 21 points. (Kris)
  • Game must be played mano a mano in Madden 08. (Karl)

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