RANDOM YOUTUBERY: THE iPHONE, IS THAT THING STILL AROUND?

I've been trying to ignore the "Hand" Jobs love-in this week (you'd think that Handie invented the 3G network right after he got done saving the world's children from hunger). But I guess I can post a little satire (since you'll rarely see me post anything positive about the real Apple).
It's actually not that I hate Apple (or Handie for that matter), I hate the verbal fellating that he gets every time he farts and I hate the fact that Apple can do no wrong in the eyes of the fan-boy (which seems to account for 93% of all bloggers and an awful lot of poseurs who always whip out their iPhone to ostensibly check the weather or some bullshit).

Anyway, without further ado, the real reason you need an iPhone 3G (moderately NSFW, unless your boss is on "big sausage pizza dot com" right now.)