THANK YOU, STRAHAN!

After 15 years in the NFL, Giants DE Michael Strahan is calling it a career. After 7 Pro Bowls, 2 season sack titles and several playoff near-misses (including a Super Bowl loss to the Ravens in 2000), one wondered if he'd ever get the chance to win a Super Bowl.

This February the speculation ended as the Giants beat the previously undefeated Patriots in SB XLII.



2007 NEW YORK GIANTS - SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!

(Nope. That will never get old.)

Here's the final tackle of his career: naturally, it was a sack, and it was a huge one.



Strahan exemplified everything that the phrase "Giants D" has come to represent. He was a fantastic player and team leader, and it's great that he gets to go out on top.

STRAHAN!!!!!!

MY FLORIDA HANGOVER

I just got back from Florida on Monday night, but in my mind I'm not truly "back" yet. While I was gone for the week a lot happened: the New Jersey Devils were (briefly) tied for first place in the Wales Conference (along with two Canadian teams), Blu-Ray won the HD war, the Hollywood writers' strike ended, and Castro quit. Maybe I should take another week off and we'll settle this whole Middle East conflict. I'll even go to Hawaii if you want--I will do whatever it takes.

Here are some things I learned during my week in Florida:

GOLF! It's hard to beat a round of golf in the winter, and Myakka Pines was in great shape (even though I wasn't). I may have said this before, but it bears repeating: if you lose a golf ball in a water hazard in Florida, DO NOT TRY TO RETRIEVE IT. There are alligators in every pond, and it's not worth losing a limb over a $2 piece of plastic.

TRAVEL: Waverunners are a great form of transportation. My cousin Heather in Bradenton has one that I got to tool around on, and I decided that I would take a waverunner to work every day if I lived down there.

As far as air travel is concerned, TSA sucks. The miserable people that work for them apparently flunked their DMV training and had no other job prospects. Why does everything from mouthwash to hemorrhoid cream have to be in a tiny plastic Ziploc bag? Can someone explain this to me? However, watching security shake down an 80 year old woman to make her relinquish her can of seltzer never gets old.

FOOD/DRINK: There are few places better than Florida to get fresh seafood. I recommend the grouper with the Caribbean chips starter at Sun House. On the other hand, no one should ever eat at Cracker Barrel. Just trust me on this one. I just had my innards violated by one of their high fat, high salt, high risk breakfasts on Monday. Never eat there. Ever.

Thank god for ABC Fine Wine & Spirits stores, because I was afraid I'd have to do all my beer shopping in Wal-Mart, where A-B unabashedly sells Michelob Ultra in flavors called "Tuscan Orange Grapefruit" and "Lime Cactus"--just the thought of that makes me want to puke. Thankfully, I was instead able to pick up a Schneider Aventinus which I enjoyed with my birthday steak.

OTHER. Rock Band, well, rocks. I played it on my cousin's XBOX360, and even though I consider it "the opposite of music" it's both a hilarious and addictive party game. I wanted to try every song but my parents were there too, and getting a little restless (though my mom rocked the cowbell on "Don't Fear the Reaper"). Now I'm thinking of buying a Sony PS3 before the year is over. (Oh, and "My Name Is Jonas" is the best song on Guitar Hero III.)

Young girls in bikinis also rock. It never fails: there's always some ridiculously gorgeous young girl on the beach that you can't NOT stare at. You just can't help it. I creep myself out when I catch myself doing it. I have an idea: it should be illegal to get a tattoo until you turn 18. This would make it much easier to determine if they're legal. Sure, it's still creepy when they're half your age, but at least you can't be locked up for it.

In closing, I found out that everyone outside of New England was rooting for the Giants (or should I say, against the Patriots) in the Super Bowl. Random strangers even came up to me: in the parking lot outside of Target, I had a Pittsburgh Steelers fan thanking me for snuffing out the evil Patriots. And it sure was fun to ride back on a plane full of New Englanders wearing a Giants shirt.

SUPER BOWL CHAMPION GIANTS: WE STOMPED YOU OUT!

This is going to be the best football off-season ever. I had such an enjoyable week just basking in the warmth of the Giants Super Bowl victory. You have no idea.

The Giants Super Bowl Tuesday parade and stadium celebration was all about Michael Strahan. He was completely off the rails, and it was hilarious. Here's a video clip of him at Giants Stadium as he imitates Howard Dean.



He's working on the comedy act for his post-NFL television career, no doubt. But the best quote is his message to the Patriots: WE STOMPED YOU OUT!



Meanwhile, everyone's new media darling, Eli Manning visited the Late Show With David Letterman the other night, and got in a few good lines.

Dave: What did you feel when you saw [Belichick] sneaking off the field like that?
Eli: Trying to beat traffic, I guess.

I don't know if someone wrote that for him, but it's priceless. Will he be the next sports figure to host SNL? Stay tuned.

One additional note: the field angle shot shown in the Letterman clip was great, but even more interesting was the amount of Giants jerseys you can see in the crowd. Look behind Eli (at around :50) while he's making his GIANT ESCAPE, and you see practically all Giants jerseys. I heard that this Super Bowl was different than previous games due to the large amount of ACTUAL FANS in attendance, which I suppose that was due to the massive amount of corporate ties for people in New York and Boston. So while the corporate douchebags reselling the tickets are enjoying the cash they made, at least some actual fans got to see the game and enjoy the priceless Giants victory.

Here's how WFAN's Bob Papa called that play on the radio. While I don't understand how he considered Tyree to be "wide open", it was still a thousand times better than Joe Buck's blase call on FOX. Just like emotionless call of the Tynes winning FG in Green Bay, he sounded like he was reading the instructions on a soup can. Yes, I know it's a visual medium and you don't have to be as descriptive, but at least show a little emotion. Because if you can't get excited about what NFL Films' Steve Sabol calls "the greatest play in Super Bowl history" (a guy who has been to every Super Bowl, I might add), why are you even doing the play-by-play? Your dad was a legend, but you are an asshat. Fuck you, Joe Buck.

So that's it for now regarding the SUPER BOWL CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS.

(I repeat: that will never get old.)

SUPER BOWL XLII: WHY IT WAS THE BEST EVER

It's Fat Super Bowl Tuesday, and I'm still soaking in the Giants' shocking victory on Sunday night. A lot will be said about this Super Bowl, but none of it matters because it wasn't said by me. Being a lifelong Giants fan (and not just when it was fashionable to be one), I may be a little biased but here's why this was the best Super Bowl ever:

• It was won by a 2 touchdown underdog against a previously undefeated team. Therefore, I'd have to say that this was the single biggest upset in NFL history, and maybe all of professional sports. (People are going to tell you Namath leading the Jets to win Super Bowl III was bigger, but they're asshats and they're wrong.)
• The New England Patriots didn't lose this game, the New York Giants won it, with an 83 yard game winning TD drive in the final 2 minutes. As a bonus, there were no sissy kickers involved in the final decision.
• It put to bed the endless "are the 2007 Patriots are the greatest team ever?" discussions. Now we know they're not. That title still belongs to the 1985 Chicago Bears, followed by the 1984 San Francisco 49ers (both 18-1), and then the 1972 undefeated Miami Dolphins. However, the '07 Pats were just elected into the Hall of Nice.
• Defense wins championships. Yes, it's a cliché but it's so often true. The Patriots record-smashing offense averaged nearly 37 points a game during the regular season, yet were held to just 14 on Sunday, as Brady was knocked down 23 times (5 sacks) and constantly pestered by the Giants pass rush. (The unsung hero for the Giants was Justin Tuck: 6 tackles + 2 sacks + 1 forced fumble = 1 fantastic game by the Giants' defensive lineman. THE TUCK RULES!)
• The Giants wanted it more. Yes, that's another cliché, but try and convince me that they didn't. You can't, and you never will.
• Bill "Mumbles" Belichick, the genius coach who could do no wrong, was outcoached by Tom "Screaming" Coughlin and the Giants' staff.
• It proved that arrogance doesn't win you games (e.g. Brady's snarky laughter regarding Plaxico's 23-17 prediction), you have to actually go out on the field and perform. (One additional point: how ironic is it that Tiki Barber interviewed Eli Manning on the TODAY show on Monday morning? AAAAWKWARD. I prefer to think that Tiki, and his massive ego, were both dying a little inside.)
• It was a fitting payback for the Pats' coaching staff getting caught cheating, for which Belichick could still be suspended for. The moral of the story: kids, you shouldn't cheat to get ahead.
• Back-to-back Super Bowl MVPs were won by a pair of brothers. You can hate the Manning family if you want, but that's astonishing.

Of course, this game is nothing without the Game Winning Drive, the one that turned Eli Manning into a Man, the same drive that made me alternate between nervously pacing, hopping with joy, and screaming at the screen like a complete lunatic. This had three memorable components:

THE ESCAPE. Third and 5 on the Giants 44, with 1:15 left Eli Manning dropped back to pass and immediately had 4 Patriots defenders swarm him, one hitting him in the head, several grabbing his shirt, and a sack looked like a foregone conclusion. But none of them ever tackled him and he somehow got free, rolled right and unloaded a rainbow pass to the middle of the field for a ridiculous 32 yard completion.

THE CATCH. The player on the other end of that pass, jumping just a little higher than Rodney Harrison at the Pats 24 yard line, was David Tyree. Though he spent most of the season on special teams and only had 4 catches, he ended up having the game of his life at wide receiver, with a TD and the biggest catch in Super Bowl history. Going up to grab it with both hands, Harrison had a fistful of his jersey with one hand as he tried to knock it out with the other. But he somehow pressed it against his helmet with his right hand as he fell backwards onto the defender, then rolled over with it firmly in his clutches without the ball ever touching the ground. Unreal. The phrase "miraculous catch" was just replaced by the word "Tyree".

THE WINNER. When Eli threw the TD pass to Plaxico Burress with :35 left, that ball seemed to hang in the air forever. And that feeling when you see the ball at its apex, and the camera pans to show the receiver wide open with nothing but a glorious expanse of endzone grass surrounding him, and before he even catches it you know it's going to happen, and the euphoria sweeps over you as you hold your breath and wait for the winning score to become reality . . . I wish you could bottle that up and sell it. It's amazing.

(Also on that drive: Jacobs converting a crucial 4th and 1; Steve Smith catching a 5 yard out on 3rd and 11 and turning it upfield for a first down.)

Of the three SB wins I've witnessed, I enjoyed this one the most. The 1986 championship team was a juggernaut for whom a SB win seemed like a fitting climax; the 1990 team went undefeated most of the season and, despite stumbling a bit after losing its starting QB, won it all with the help of a lucky missed FG. But there was really nothing special or extraordinary about this 2007 team, except how they played when it mattered.

I've bitched about this team for years, frustrated by their inconsistency, wondering which Giants team was going to show up on any given night. Why does this team do this to me? Why do I let them? However, moments like this remind me why I bother to hang in there and root for them. Now it feels like it was all worth it.

(In a week, I will be reporting from the Florida gulf coast where I will be playing some golf and relaxing on the beach. EVERYTHING'S COMING UP JEFFUARY!)

That great photo courtesy of New York Times photographer Doug Mills.

NEW YORK GIANTS: SUPER BOWL XLII CHAMPIONS!

I can't believe what I just saw.

The Giants just won the Super Bowl, beating the previously undefeated Patriots 17-14, in one of the most improbable and stunning upsets ever.

Wow. I'm so giddy right now, I can't even express myself in words. So here are some pics.





That pass from Eli Manning, as he somehow avoided a sack, to David Tyree will be one for the ages.




And the winning TD catch by Plaxico Burress, one of only 2 he would make all night, a 13 yarder with 35 seconds left would send the Patriots home losers.



Like I've said before, just tell Eli there's 2 minutes left and send him out there.

What a fantastic game.

You can't beat the Boston Globe's reaction to the devastating loss:

Giants ruin Patriots' quest for perfection with 17-14 stunner

There'll be no Hub parade on Super Tuesday. No commemorative books about "Path to Perfection." In New England, the church bells all are broken. Two-touchdown favorites and touted as possibly the greatest football team of all-time, the Patriots were beaten by the Giants, 17-14, in Super Bowl XLII.

Hey, don't cry New England fans: 18-1 is still pretty nice.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

SUCK IT, BRADY!!!

NEW YORK GIANTS - SUPER BOWL XLII CHAMPIONS!

(Yes, I realize I didn't use the term Hyper-Match 101010 in this post. Screw the NFL, they can sue me.)