THIS BLOG'S (INTER)NET WORTH

My blog is worth $2,822.70.
How much is your blog worth?

I think this blog is worthless, but Technorati disagrees to the tune of $2,822.70. You may pay me in alcohol.

RANDOM YOUTUBERY: ZUIIKIN' ENGLISH

Leave it to the Japanese to combine "English language lessons with gymnastic exercise programs". Below are two videos that were made in 1992 by someone or something called Zuiikin' English, probably directed by the same person who made the Mr. Sparkle commercials.

I don't think I'll ever understand the Japanese.

RANDOM YOUTUBERY: NORTON FURNITURE

This is a real furniture commercial from the Cleveland area.

Oh good God.

RANDOM YOUTUBERY: JAPANESE PIZZA COMMERCIAL

Here's a Japanese commercial for PIZZA-LA.



♪Pi-pi-pi-pi-Pizza-la-kun
to to to to toppings!♪

You can't make this shit up. Suddenly, I don't feel like having pizza for lunch today.

BASEBALL GAMES IN THE FUTURE WILL TAKE TWICE AS LONG

The Yankees/Mets played at Shea Stadium (good riddance!) for the final time this weekend, but the most compelling matchup was between their local A affiliates last week.

Pat Venditte of the Staten Island Yankees is an ambidextrous "switch pitcher" who can throw 90 MPH with either arm, and has a special 6 fingered glove. Brooklyn Cyclones Ralph Henriquez is a switch hitter. Watch as the hilarity ensues!



I always wondered if this would ever happen. What is the rule here? I always thought the batter had to choose first, and the pitcher could do whatever he wanted; only if they change pitchers could the batter choose another side of the plate to swing from.

RANDOM YOUTUBERY: RANDOM JAPANESE GIRL

According to Kris, it's Random Youtubery Month. Personally, I don't like putting a lot of videos on here since in a week or two most of them disappear, but I thought I'd join in the fun anyway.

I can almost understand Madonna and Justin Timberlake getting 10 million hits; while it's incredibly uninteresting to me, I can see why two generations of pop music fans would want to see it.

However, can anyone explain why this video has gotten over 3 million views?



It's a Japanese girl (Magi Ririan?), who claims to be 21 but looks like she's 12. She's doing nothing. Over 3 million people have watched it. Nearly 20,000 have commented on it (most of them are not so nice).

Yes, we're all doomed.

YAHOO! ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS WITH MORE QUESTIONS

"between 0000-00-00 and 9999-99-99"

This cryptic message has been showing up at the tail end of everyone's emails using the Yahoo! Mail service today. I have no idea what it means, but it looks like a date format to me. Since normally there's an ad for some various Yahoo! service in that place, I'm guessing that has to do with the dates the ad is supposed to run.

Not satisfied with my own conclusion, I decided to search the trusty World Web WebberNets and The Goog. My search for the answer just served to illustrate to me the uselessness of the ironically named Yahoo! Answers website. Jeepers, the moronic posts that people put up there simply boggle the mind, and virtually none of them are a correct answer or even the slightest bit helpful. Oh, and if you don't have the answer DON'T POST NONSENSE TO WASTE EVERYONE'S TIME. This goes for people who say, "Yeah, I'm having the problem too" or "Maybe it's an error." Maybe? That's your answer? MAYBE?

Some people have said it's a social security number, but it's not the right format (000-00-0002: damn you, Roosevelt). Others have assumed it has something to do with tax day, but what exactly? All I know is those two answers above were the most intelligent I found. Maybe "0000-00-00" means "rock" and "9999-99-99" means "hard place", which is as good as any answer on this pointless site.

In other words, Yahoo! Answers should really be called "Yahoo! Wild Speculations With No Basis In Fact". (Don't even get me started about subjective questions posited on the site, like "Is A-Rod the best baseball player ever?" which has no definitive answer.) And there's always some smartass whose solution to the problem is "Stop sending emails". I want to virtually slap your dumb looking avatar's face, you cyberdouche.

Here's the real reason: it's an SQL bug caused by someone inputting the dates of the Yahoo! ad incorrectly. Which brings me back to my original conclusion. What a waste of time. Thanks, Internet!

Here are some other open burning questions on Yahoo! Answers, with my astute (and correct) answers:

Q. Help! I'm italian....?
A: That's your parents' fault.

Q. Would you like to help me plz : )?
A. No thanks.

Q. Why do you think Jesus Christ went back to Heaven rather than staying here on Earth?
A. He couldn't find any parking spaces.

Q. Whats the best metal Magazine?
A. Practical Welding Today is my favorite, though you can't go wrong with any of the ASM Technical Journals like Metallurgical and Material Transactions and Alloy Digest.

Q. Dry, Red Patches on Face?
A. No I don't have any, but thanks for asking.

Q. What are your?
A. Mine are.

Q. ???????????
A. !!!!!!!!!!!

Q. puck bunny?
A. Yes, please!