In an effort to keep this pointless blog alive, I've decided to post a Random Shitlink every Monday. Basically, it will be anything I find amusing, interesting, annoying and/or completely and utterly stupid. I have no idea, but one thing is for sure: you sure as shit won't be learning anything.
Today's link is Geekologie, the self-proclaimed site for "Gadgets, Gizmos and Awesome". It's quite the potpourri of weird links and bad ideas, with posts like:
Being a long time fan of HBO's classic Mr. Show (see "Landlord" sketch here), I can't believe I hadn't seen Paul F. Tompkins' 1998 special "Driven To Drink" until last night. In the next two clips from this special (which was sort of a play format) he discusses his theory about "The Sober World" vs. "The Drinking World".
In the second clip, he tells a story about drinking at his old favorite Philly local, [Dirty] Frank's.
(He's lost about 40 pounds since then, so I'm thinking he probably doesn't drink 4 pints in one 30 minute show anymore.)
Meet Randy Lewis, a shoo-in for Dad-of-the-Year: See Randy found himself in a bit of a predicament the other day. He was already staring down 2 DUI convictions, but he had just drank 15 beers and "some liquor" and needed to get home.
Making a spur-of-the-moment decision that only alcohol allows, Randy handed his keys to his son and told him, "get me the fuck home, now."
Great plan, except Randy's son is only 10. Now a 12-year old, yeah he can drive 90 mph (according to the cops), no problem. But at 10, not so much (on the plus side, no one died).
Needless to say, Randy Jr., rolled the vehicle. Not only were Randy and Randy Jr in said vehicle, another 10-year old and a 6-year old were also present as well as Paula Elaine Evans a 38-year old friend of Randy Sr (and probably his sister and lover). Paula had copious amounts of undefined "pills" and she did what every inbred woman would do in her case and started swallowing them so the police couldn't confiscate them.
Now many people are going to say that Randy's tee shirt shows just how deep his problem goes. I say that now-more-than-ever, Randy needs a beer.
Let's hope that Randy Jr learns to drive better, quickly, 'cause someone's going to have to bring Dad beer in the clink when he's doing 5-10 for the various laws he broke.
Yes, the Christopher Walken SNL sketch that this references is over 8 years old at this point, but that doesn't make the MORE COWBELL site less funny. The idea is simple: you upload an mp3, adjust the sliders to add cowbell and Walken quotes to it, and the computer "cowbells" it (nice verbification), with sometimes hilarious results. To wit:
I used to think Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen was a perfect rock song, but that's before it was cowbelled. (Though Walken puts his pants on at an awkward time, this is fantastic.)
Naturally, there's always room for More Cowbell on this one: Unknown song. You've just been Rick Cowbell'd!
And of course, they added more cowbell to a song that already features the cowbell: Don't Fear The Reaper. Careful: listening to this might create a black hole like the Large Hadron Collider.
The Yankees/Mets played at Shea Stadium (good riddance!) for the final time this weekend, but the most compelling matchup was between their local A affiliates last week.
Pat Venditte of the Staten Island Yankees is an ambidextrous "switch pitcher" who can throw 90 MPH with either arm, and has a special 6 fingered glove. Brooklyn Cyclones Ralph Henriquez is a switch hitter. Watch as the hilarity ensues!
I always wondered if this would ever happen. What is the rule here? I always thought the batter had to choose first, and the pitcher could do whatever he wanted; only if they change pitchers could the batter choose another side of the plate to swing from.
This interview with The Clash from 1982 on the "Live At Five" program she once hosted is pretty damn funny due to its awkwardness, but she holds it together fairly well.
Recently, she dropped an F-bomb while reading a teaser for the upcoming 11:00 news, and wow, it's a doozy. In fact, it's more punk than anything The Clash said in that studio.
Uggggggghhhhhhh. Not only must it be awful to drink, it's also incredibly, unabashedly gay! If you order this at a bar you deserved to get cockpunched.
I have to admit, Ben Stiller has not done much for me lately; he kind of lost me after the completely unnecessary Meet The Fockers. However, this (red line/R-rated) trailer for Tropic Thunder, a new action/comedy he wrote/directed, is pretty damn funny.
Since today is Grand Theft Auto IV release day, I felt it was a good time to mention one of the best documentaries about videogames that is likely to ever be made. I watched King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters last night, and it was absolutely fascinating, even moreso since I'm a videogame fan and about the same age as these fanatics.
Focusing on a self-taught Donkey Kong expert (the humble Steve Wiebe) aiming to challenge the current world record holder (the arrogant Billy Mitchell), this movie was both interesting and frightening at the same time. It shows a whole classic arcade videogame subculture that I knew existed, but I wasn't prepared for how obsessive and competitive they are.
Interesting note (to me anyway): I've actually been to that Funspot Arcade in Weirs Beach, NH as a kid, so I might have run into one of these weirdos before.
From the Twin Galaxies "referees" who oversee the validity of the scores to the banker who retired at age 30 and moved to New Hampshire to devote his life to playing video games, it was priceless stuff. Billy even had people sent to Steve's house to check the machine in his garage to see if the board was "fraudulent". I simply can't believe anyone would be that dickish about a Donkey Kong record.
"No matter what I say, it draws controversy. It's sort of like the abortion issue. If you're for it, you're a sonofagun; if you're against it, you're a sonofagun. I'm not God, I don't have all the answers, so I have to be careful how I share my opinions." - Billy Mitchell
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S A FREAKING VIDEO GAME! Seriously, I think this guy is totally insane.
Regardless, it was a very entertaining documentary, even for the non-videogame enthusiast. But for someone like me who has gone through rolls upon rolls of quarters playing these games in the 80s, it was completely mesmerizing.
These videos crack me up. It's a simple premise: Finnish guitarist Santeri Ojala has taken live performance videos of famous guitarists (Clapton, Santana, Vai, Eddie Van Halen, Malmsteen) and overdubbed his own intentionally awful playing. The results are hilarious, and expertly synched up as well.
However, some of the targets of the parodies aren't laughing at these as hard as I am: three of the humorless guitarists have allegedly threatened to sue, and his account on YouTube was suspended due to "copyright infringement" (god I'm so fucking sick of lawyers). Vai and Malmsteen are thought to be the likely whiners.
Anyway, since Wired has decided to host the videos, I've decided to post two of my favorites. I couldn't choose just one, so let's start with Eric Clapton at MSG:
Even the overdubbed drums and sax on that one are perfect. However this is the piece de resistance, as Ojala dubs pretty much every instrument (and voice) during an Yngwie Malmsteen performance with the Japan Philharmonic in 2003:
The "Close Encounters" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark" interludes had me rolling.
Also check out the Rob E. Lee/Ozzy Osbourne (whose overdubbed clapping is priceless) and Carlos Santana clips from the Wired Video site.
