RANDOM SHITLINK MONDAY: GEEKOLOGIE

In an effort to keep this pointless blog alive, I've decided to post a Random Shitlink every Monday. Basically, it will be anything I find amusing, interesting, annoying and/or completely and utterly stupid. I have no idea, but one thing is for sure: you sure as shit won't be learning anything.

Today's link is Geekologie, the self-proclaimed site for "Gadgets, Gizmos and Awesome". It's quite the potpourri of weird links and bad ideas, with posts like:

• Booze Detector Reveals Purity Of Your Drink (pretty useless since it only works on currently only 6 different types of drink, I might add)
• I'm At A Loss For Words: An LOL Swastika (has to be seen to be believed)
• Fail: How Not To Use An Automatic Door (ditto)

And of course, there's always Junior hockey fight.

SEMIN FIGHTS LIKE A GIRL

Today's lesson was learned at Brazen Fox in White Plains. Youtube video to follow.

[Update] A Youtube search of "Semin Fights like a Girl" yielded this gem of Semin fighting Marc Staal LIKE A GIRL.



He got a 5 minute major for fighting and a Gay Misconduct.

RANDOM YOUTUBERY: RUFF STUFF (HA HA BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS)

This clip was one of those related to the "Have Another Doughnut" post from a few days ago, and I thought it was funny and interesting enough to post. The Flyers' Craig Berube, in his attempt to punch Rangers Lindy Ruff, catches (and bloodies) linesman Kevin Collins instead.



Interesting notes:
* Lindy Ruff is currently the coach of the Sabres, and is still a feisty competitor even if his team isn't;
* The commentary is by Mike "Doc" Emrick and Bill "Hands of Cement" Clement;
* Craig "The Chief" Berube is the current coach of the AHL's Philadelphia Phantoms, who are currently at the brink of elimination down 3-1 at the hands of that other Penguins team from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton (sponsored by Dunder-Mifflin) in the Calder Cup playoffs.

If you ever get annoyed at the playoff referees you can always watch this meleé instead.

FINALLY: THE SABRES BEAT THE DEVILS AT SOMETHING

We all know that the Devils are superior to the Sabres in nearly every way (except possibly slacking Europeans) this year. Yet, there is one arena where the Sabres remain the winners (other than skill competition losses). GOOGLE FIGHT!

It was a hard fought battle, but in the end, one stick figure was send flying:



Yep, that's the Devils you see flying off the screen. The Sabres, by the slimmest of margins, have more Google hits. Of course "porn" beats "buffalo sabres" by a 50:1 margin, but we need to compare apples to apples.

RUSSIAN SUPERLEAGUE SUPERFIGHT

Putting the "super" in Russian SuperLeague, this is the most ridiculous hockey fight I've ever seen. This took place on January 8, 2008, featuring AK Bars Kazan (in the light jerseys that remind me of the original New Jersey Devils) vs. Traktor Chelyabinsk (dark jerseys):



From YouTube user ranndino who watched the game:

"With the score 7-5 and Traktor Chelyabinsk on a 5-on-3 power play they took out the goalie, so it was 6-on-3. They scored the goal to apparently make it 7-6, but the puck was knocked out of the goalie's glove after he made the save. Ak Bars players did not seem to appreciate it and one of them punched the celebrating player. Then all hell broke loose."

There were 378 PIM assessed during this fracas, and I'm pretty sure every player from both teams were involved. I love the ref at 0:22 trying unsuccessfully to stop the tidal wave of players coming off the bench to join in. At around 1:40 you think it's over, but it's not; one of the Chelyabinsk players throws an AK Bars jersey into the stands, which causes #30 (allegedly, Aleksandr Stepanov) to go apeshit and start the second wave of fighting (replayed here at 3:46).

The Philadelphia Flyers are currently in negotiations with Stepanov, they like the cut of his jib.

OPEN HOCKEY: WE HATE YOU ALREADY

OPEN HOCKEY has a new look, which you might have noticed (but judging by the recent Statcounter pageloads, probably not). Kris worked hard (hardly worked) at creating the piece of of art you see at the top of the screen; he even came up with the brilliant, sarcastic, pre-judgmental, antagonistic tagline. Well done, sir! I was concerned about getting "expressed written consent" (or even "implied oral consent") from the NHL for the use of their logos, but screw them; they could use a little exposure since they can't do it themselves.

This ass-kicking, name-taking header comes just in time for the official kickoff of the 2007-08 NHL hockey season. Or was that last weekend? Either way, the league in its infinite wisdom chose the first day of the MLB playoffs to show a double-header on VS., ensuring minuscule ratings. If they had done this yesterday, when I was so starved for entertainment that I watched "Cavemen" (which wasn't horrible), they might have had some viewers.

Meanwhile on the other side of the pond, London's O2 Arena (owned by AEG, the same company who owns the L.A. Kings--it's all about synergy) hosted 2 games last weekend to "extend their brand" to Europe, and by most accounts the sport was well received. The hooligans especially loved the fights, although one onlooker was baffled by Ryan Getzlaf and friends posing with the Cup near Big Ben (actual quote: "The NFL is here next month, maybe this is part of that promotion"). Overall, I think we need the BBC to write more descriptions of hockey, they're just so damned British.

"The NHL champions, who beat the Ottawa Senators to win their first title in June, began the second period brightly but could not force the puck past agile Kings netminder Jonathan Bernier. Then, with 30:15 on the clock, Los Angeles doubled their advantage as captain Blake swept home a rebound after Anze Kopitar's shot had been well saved."

Well saved, old boy! Yarrr, Captain Blake doubles yer advantage! Wait, 30:15 on the clock? What the hell? Is that the metric system? Was there any injury time added on the end?

Falling into the NHL's evil marketing trap, the Biggest Sabres Fan In France was intrigued by the new NHL.TV and its promise of a free preview (until October 9th). However, upon trying to sign up he was informed that it was only available for people with U.S. addresses. Way to extend your brand, geniuses! NHL: Invisible All Around The World! It's such a fantastic sport, and it's a shame that it's getting buried by shoddy management, clueless broadcast networks, and asinine marketing schemes. As always, Bettman sucks.

The Onion Sports, "Sports Talk Radio For Fans Who Like To Read", has chimed in on the NHL as well:

"Despite hints, suggestions, and outright pleas from its friends and family members to "stop embarrassing [themselves]," National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman announced yesterday that NHL players, team management, and league officials will in fact go through with their plans to attempt the 2007-08 season."

We know you secretly love the NHL, otherwise you'd completely ignore it like everyone else.

Tomorrow, more Wales Conference teams get in their first games, with the Devils hopefully starting the season brightly down in Hockey Bay (Tampa) and the Rangers home against the Panthers. Stay tuned!

THINGS I LIKE: DONNYBROOKS!

I only heard about this (while watching the decidedly more sedate Devils @ Rangers game), this is the first clip I've seen. Last night, the Senators visited the Sabres and they ended up getting into a brawl (the 6-5 shootout win by the Sabres was an afterthought). Here's a clip (thanks to hockeyfights.com):



I'm not a big fan of hockey fights, but you have to love it when the goalies get into it. I was really hoping Lindy Ruff was going to get into fisticuffs with Sens coach Bryan Murray, who was pissed that he sent out his goons. This whole thing started because Chris Drury, who has a history of concussions, was hit pretty late, which you never like to see. The Sabres have so many injuries right now (something like 6 starters out), so this can't be good.

But yes, these teams genuinely dislike each other.

Here's some Bfloblog recaps. And here's the penalty summary:

05:13 OTT Chris Phillips penalty Game Misconduct - 10 min.
05:13 BUF Patrick Kaleta penalty Game Misconduct - 10 min.
05:13 OTT Anton Volchenkov penalty Fighting - 5 min.
05:13 BUF Martin Biron penalty Game Misconduct - 10 min.
05:13 BUF Martin Biron penalty Fighting - 5 min.
05:13 BUF Martin Biron penalty Goalie leaving crease. - 2 min.
05:13 BUF Adam Mair penalty Game Misconduct - 10 min.
05:13 BUF Adam Mair penalty Fighting - 5 min.
05:13 BUF Adam Mair penalty Instigator - 2 min.
05:13 BUF Andrew Peters penalty Game Misconduct - 10 min.
05:13 BUF Andrew Peters penalty Fighting - 5 min.
05:13 BUF Andrew Peters penalty Instigator - 2 min.
05:13 BUF Andrew Peters penalty Roughing - 2 min.
05:13 OTT Ray Emery penalty Game Misconduct - 10 min.
05:13 OTT Ray Emery penalty Goalie leaving crease. - 2 min.
05:13 OTT Ray Emery penalty Fighting - 5 min.
05:13 OTT Ray Emery penalty Fighting - 5 min.