MORE HATE: LASER PRINTING YOUR OWN MONEY

The way I see it, this is the only way to make buying new toner for a personal laser printer worthwhile.

Ok, let's take a step back. I'm looking to buy a color laser printer because my Oh Brother Inkjet takes 2 hours to print anything that's bigger than a monochrome Word file and I'm just sick of it. Entry-level color lasers cost around €150 right now. With that you get four toner cartridges (CYMB) that should last for something like 1,000 pages depending on your usage, then you need to buy more toner! I've been pricing this a bit and many consumer brands (Epson, Canon) price the four cartridges of toner at a little less than the printer itself (maybe 10% below the cost). Today I got a brochure from Dell and figured I'd check it out. The printer with 4 cartridges is €169. Replacement cartridges (normal capacity) €33 Black, €49 each CYM! So a little math tells us...€180. Hmm. Here's the thing, when it's more economical to throw out the printer when the toner is done, something isn't working.

I know that they bundle and all that shit, but do they think that people are that stupid? It's fucking ridiculous that it costs more money to buy the fucking toner than it does to buy the printer that is bundled with the toner. I know, I know economies of scale...Fuck that, computer chips and plastic and metal that are used in the printer costs money too. If a computer company respects you this much about a printer, imagine how much they're going to respect you when you have a problem with your system ('of course we can fix your computer, it will only be 112% of your purchase cost'). I'm pretty happy, over all, with Dell, but come on Mikey....That's fucking stupid.

WEEKLY TOP 10: US-CONNECTION!

10. After returning from a 5 day trip to Maine, I realized that it's time for me to move near the beach. ANY beach. I can't stand being hours away from one.

9. Just like everything else, GM managed to screw up Saturn as well. Meanwhile, there's a bunch of sissified blogulation regarding the iCar, a possible joint venture between Apple and Volkswagen. Personally, I think they're made for each other--both of them preach style over substance, and are overpriced for what you get.

8. I'm Freaking Old Moment #356: I realized that the neck tattoo is not just for prisoners anymore, after seeing an otherwise attractive female sporting a rather conspicuous one. I found it hideous, but I imagine someone out there must like that look.

7. After his much-ballyhooed win at the Douchebag Deutsche Bank golf tournament at TPC Boston, Phillis Mickelson now has a jillion zillion FedEx Cup points, as Rob put it. Way to go, FIGJAM! Even though Steve Stricker has only one 1 tournament in the past 7 years, he's currently at #2, higher than Tiger Woods! Again, what a great "playoff" "system" this is.

6. I have decided to buy a Dell Vostro laptop, because it sounds like an Eastern bloc tennis player. Oh, and because you can get a well-loaded computer at a reasonable price, and there's no "bloatware" (my new favorite word) installed on it. Extended warranty? How can I lose? (Actually, this is one of those rare moments I will actually buy one. I've never owned a laptop, and I guarantee that it will fall apart after 1 day after the normal warranty runs out.)

5. Speaking of tennis, there are only 3 American men in the Top 50 ATP rankings. James Blake and Andy Roddick (and the latter is about to get schooled by Roger Federer tonight) are in the Top 10, and they're not even that spectacular. The other one? Mardy Fish at #41. Yikes. Meanwhile, where is the Russian factory that is churning out these tennis playing girls? (Yeah I know, she lost already, but any excuse to get a Maria Sharapova picture up here.)

4. I'm Freaking Old Moment #443: when asked about the show "The Hills", I realized that I'd never even heard of the show, or knew that it was on MTV for three seasons already. In fact, along with ESPN, I don't remember the last time I voluntarily turned on MTV. Sorry, I'm out of your target demo.

3. I am actually more looking forward to the upcoming hockey season than the NFL season (which starts tomorrow night), maybe because the Devils have more of a fighting chance than the Giants do. In fact, I even know that the Devils play their first 9 games on the road, mainly because of a slew of concerts by Bon Fucking Jovi (that's right, they don't even get to open their own arena). Meanwhile, I just found out that the Giants start their season this Sunday night. Ugh, what a way to kill my interest almost immediately. And that's only the first of FIVE games at 8:15 PM this season. As for the NHL, contrary to the word on the street and what may have been said here in the blogodome, I might actually attend a Devils game at "The Rock", if NJ Transit figures out that new weekend train schedule this fall. There's nothing like live hockey, and I'm sure I'll be sucked in . . . to Newark? Ugh.

2. I'll come right out and say it: I really dislike the work of Kevin Smith. I was even at the legendary Hazlet Multiplex premiere of the original Clerks, and left thoroughly hating the movie. So if you try to sell me a TV show or movie with the caveat "DIRECTED BY KEVIN SMITH!", I will run in the other direction.

1. Have you ever found yourself in France without the means to order a replica of a 1940's Texaco gas pump? Did you ever suffer a summer heat wave in the south of France without a Coca-Cola thermometer? Does your Parisian American-themed restaurant lack that certain art deco je ne sais quoi? Personally, I haven't had any of these problems . . . yet. But if you do, I'm quite certain that there's only one place to go: US-Connection. The authentic (yes, actually made in the USA) American diner furniture looks great, and reminds me of a time when every restaurant wasn't a TGI Applechili's Garden Bistro. And I personally love the decorative enamel signs (if I had my own bar, I would cover the walls with these things). Visit the US-Connection website right now if you're interested!