CRAPTACULAR END TO A CRAPTACULAR YEAR

This was one of the worst NFL seasons in recent memory, so it was quite appropriate that it culminated in a Big Game that was a boring, plodding, sloppily played, poorly officiated, anticlimactic contest. In many ways, it was a microcosm of the whole dismal year of football. Big Ben played horribly, MVP Shaun Alexander didn't show up, Holmgren and Hasselbeck couldn't run a 2 minute offense if you gave them all day, Stevens dropped passes all night, Seattle special teams stank with two missed FGs and punts landing in the end zone--it was by all accounts a craptacular showcase of the "best" teams in the NFL. You know it's a bad night when the game's best pass was thrown by wide receiver (and college QB) Tony "Antwaan Randle El" Randall, a 43-yard end-around option-pass for a TD to Hines Ward. Ugh.
Although the officiating was predictably horrible, giving us at least 3 or 4 bad calls in this game, I don't buy that the officials fixed this game so that the "Stealers" would beat the Seahawks. Because let's face it: they're not that smart. They're tax adjustors, teachers, real estate appraisers, carpet salesmen, not duplicitous secret agents with an agenda or an axe to grind. The calls didn't prevent Seattle from winning, because they couldn't get out of their own way all night. They held Pittsburgh to zero first downs in the first quarter but only scored 3 points, and failed to score more than one TD even while leading in rushing and time of possession. And when it counted, like during the record 75-yard Willie Parker TD run, and the aforementioned "gadget" play, the Hawks D let them down. So Seahawks fans and conspiracy theorists, stop whining, because your team played like shit; it turns out that the Steelers performance was only a little less shitty. Bottom line: when you're the #1 NFC team with the highest scoring offense, and you're playing the #6 AFC team, and you only manage 10 points, it shouldn't have even come down to the officiating.
Oh, and even the commercials sucked. And I later found out that Joe Montana (who I used to like) decided to skip the "parade of MVPs" prior to the game because the NFL couldn't pay him enough. Pretty sad. Oh, and Terry Bradshaw skipped it too, but he's an asshole anyway. At least we got to watch the game in glorious High Jeffinition. Hey, I actually found something positive to say (besides how much I enjoyed Sam Adams Black Lager).

So now that it's all over, I'm hoping that freshly shaved Big Ben (why didn't he use the Gillette "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades" Fusion?) can party with some real hotties this time around, and not some random chicks in some guy's basement. I can't wait for the pictures to hit the internet. BTW, even HE honestly didn't think he got in the end zone on Sunday (which he said on 'David Letterman').

After all this, one can only hope that the NFL will finally fix the lousy video review/officiating in the off-season, but I doubt it. Until next year, bye bye, NFL. We won't miss you!