Thursday, March 22, 2007


I just want to say some really short stuff.

The next time some whipper-snapper tries to convince me that "MTV is cool", I'll tell them that VIACOM is suing YouTube for $1 billion dollars, a decidedly uncool move. Comedy Central, MTV, VH1, you guys all deserve to die. Cable TV, in fact, is a dying technology and should really just go the way of the dinosaur. The owners know this, and that's why guys like Cablevision's Dolan are holding onto what little chips they have until their inevitable downfall.

The DirecTV commercial in which Turtle from Entourage says "I gotta have my Knicks in HD" is pure crap: Cablevision is the exclusive owner of MSG-HD, and has not given the rights to any other satellite, cable or FiOS company. So this is complete bullshit just like the Tiki Barber DISH TV football commercials, since Echostar does not have the NFL Sunday Ticket package. You're stupid if you sign up for these commercials, but smart if you switch to satellite, espcially since DirecTV says they will "have the capacity for 150 HD channels in 2007", whatever that means.

Speaking of HD, Cablevision added National Geographic HD and Discovery HD today. But I still hate Dolan.

Meanwhile, YouTube is apparently giving out awards for the best crappy videos of the year. I can only imagine some of the possible categories: Best Fake Video Featuring A 15 Year Old Lonely Occult-Loving Girls That Are Neither Lonely Nor 15, World's Stupidest Cat Owners, and Ow My Balls!

I started watching The Amazing Race All-Stars Show once CBS started to advertise that the wicked insufferable Rob and Amber were eliminated from the race (marketing that works!). Of course I forgot that the irritating Charla and Mirna are also on TARASS; one of them is certifiably insane and treats her teammate cousin, a midget, like a child. When they placed first and won an Aruba trip featuring a free massage, I wondered: do midgets get a discount on a full-body massage? I mean, there's not a lot of area to cover compared to, say, someone like me. Is it wrong to wonder that?

The show SCRUBS is very funny, but I think it's run its course. They've used every "HEY LOOK AT ME" gimmick in the TV book: a pregnancy, a musical episode, a clip show, and tonight one of the stars (I say Dr. Kelso, but don't rule out Dr. Cox) is going into a life-threatening coma--and that's just since January! Egads. I'd say "It's over", but NBC might renew the show for a 7th season and make Zach Braff one of the richest sitcom stars on TV. So they're going to milk this goat for all its worth. These guys could learn something from Ricky Gervais, whose The Office and Extras ended while still on top (12 episodes, making it England's longest running series!).

As it stands now, Rangers will meet the Devils in the first round of the playoffs . . . but I don't think it will end that way. They peaked too early and are playing like crap, and will not win the division, and will instead end up in 4th or 5th . . . and probably still play the Rangers.

If overrated Memphis beats Texas A&M tonight, I am officially done with running a NCAA bracket. And I think it's about time that Kansas Bill-Self-destructs and blew up everyone's bracket.

Salukis, photo by Ronald Martinez-Getty Images

And screw you, CBS, for starting the late games after 10 PM. I'm going to bed.
(That was a lot longer than I expected.)

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