THE LAST BRACKET (I SWEAR)

After the unfathomable mess I made of my bracket for the NCAA basketball tournament (Maryland in the final four? WTF?), as well as the NCAA Frozen Four (I brought that on myself, really), I swore I would never look at another bracket for the rest of the year. Then Band Madness came along and made me feel happy again, until Spoon lost in the first round and I felt shame, anger, and depression.

Well, this one is too good to pass up: NAME OF THE YEAR. This blog has created a bracket of some of the most unbelievable names they've come across this year (and they swear they're all true). Some of the names on this sheet had me literally laughing out loud (LLOL), and while some are merely unfortunate, the intentionally bad names are so incredible they make the parents who named Majestic and Scientific Mapp look like amateurs. To wit, here are your #1 seeds (I wish Chris Gumbel had announced these live on CBS):

Intelligent Infinite Botts, Mario Hilario, Vanilla Dong, Yourhighness Morgan.

Wow. It's Idiocracy come to life, except dumber (Beef Supreme wouldn't stand a chance in this tourney). In a few years, we're going to look back at the underappreciated Mike Judge as some sort of magical prophet. Seriously: Michelangelo X Ball Van Zee is only a 5 seed!

So please go check it out, and fill our your bracket today. And thank you, Name of the Year blog, for allowing me to enjoy brackets again.

(Really, this is the last one you're getting from me. I swear.)