I've been looking for a name of a semi-irregular column to write for OH and I hope to have found it...Using the simple, but straightforward "Things I Hate" line, I'll try to do a column from time to time (usually when the bile rises enough that I must get it out).
1. Now that the French Rugby Team has lost, I don't know who to root against for the Final...I guess the English, the drunken louses that they are, plus the RSA team is just so much more fun to watch...Watching the rose-emblems play is like watching the pre-strike Sabres play hockey. They can win, but it ain't pretty.
Anyway, this isn't about England, of course, it's about Le Quinze de France. I meant to post before, but didn't get around to it, but I hate, absolutely hate how the French are the biggest bandwagon jumpers in the history of, well, history. A month and a half ago, no one in France, save the South-west where rugby is popular, followed rugby at all. Then all of the sudden the French team started to win, people were proud to be French again, they were flying le tricolore for Christ's sake...No one ever flies the flag here, but Saturday they were on cars and buses and in windows. Maybe I just don't get it as a person or maybe I just don't get it as an American, but the whole 'pride via sport' just baffles the shit out of me. You're proud of your country or you're not, but winning against a rugby team from a country of 4.1 million people doesn't make you any more or less of a country in my eyes. Hey at least they didn't celebrate their soccer victory over the Faroe Islands (it's the town barber in goal!).
2. France again: The government has proposed DNA testing for immigrants who wish to take advantage of the familial regroupment. In France, if an immigrant gets formal residency s/he can bring their family to live with them. The government has proposed a voluntary (yeah, I agree with the protesters on this, nothing is 'voluntary') DNA testing the members that wish to come to France. They're dropping N-bombs (Nazi), they're talking about creating a national-database for immigrants, they're using terms like 'purity of blood', they're talking all kinds of bullshit. All of their complaints are complete bullshit to me. Yes, many immigrants are honest people and yes, we should respect everyone the same, but I cannot, do not, see the crime in asking someone who is requesting to be given permanent residency to prove that they are who they claim they are. The anti-testing agents are saying that people are sometimes adopted: Ok, make it clear to the immigration officials from the beginning and there's no problem. I just can't see how this is a problem, except when there's something to hide. I hate to take party lines here, but this reeks of the Left seeing a chink in the government's armor and and seizing on it...
3. “You shouldn’t have to buy a G.P.S. [to find a commercial route from LI to Upstate NY]”. Guess fucking what: YOU DON'T HAVE TO. Anyone who knows me, knows more-or-less how I feel about SUVs and especially about large, asinine, my-dick-is-so-small SUVs. Here's the scenario: You buy a Hummer H2 and some holier-than-thou guy in a Prius flips you off, you're tempted to run them over and they jump onto a Parkway that says "Passenger cars only". What do you do? Do you take the risk and go after him or do you stay on the interstate because you're driving a land-tank?
This NY Times article discusses the complicated mess that the tri-state parkways are for driving (it was created by bureaucrats, what the fuck do you expect?). This is hilarious:
[H]earses are allowed on the Merritt, but not if they are part of a procession. In New York, they are banned unless they are, among other funereal duties, part of a procession.Anyway, they have some priceless quotes from the Chevy/GMC dealer in Bedford Hills, where they would like to sell more 3/4 ton pickup trucks, but can't really because they're too heavy to driven on NY parkways:
"[M]any people considered a GMC Sierra 2500 pickup with crew cab and diesel engine, at about 9,000 pounds fully loaded, a family car." Yep, I cross shop Chevy Impalas with these all the time.
"They can seat six comfortably, and some people want them to plow their driveways." In Bedford Hills? People are going to drop $60,000 on a truck, then plow their own driveways. Ha! Right after they climb to the summit of Mt. Marcy and haul in the 20 face cords of wood for the winter. Get the fuck out of here.
Oh and the quote above? Some rich kid from LI went upstate to buy a miniature horse. They had a horse trailer that couldn't take the parkways so they had to buy a GPS! Little tidbit: Google maps. It just took me 2 minutes to do there is only a few miles in the middle of the Island (and you have to avoid the Garden State) where they have to go out of their way. Oh and it was free, unless I had to print it, in which case you have to count the $0.0001 for paper and $0.005 for ink.
4. Hollywood. And the people who write about it...I usually avoid Time and Newsweek and their ilk like the plague, but Julie happened to procure a couple of magazines during one of her recent drug-mule runs. I was reading Time's article on "Nobody likes westerns, so why are they so good?" They state two facts and I see two glaring errors. #1, I like some Westerns - High Noon, Unforgiven, some Leone stuff, etc. As much as I like a Spaghetti Western here and again, they were not "good" movies. So then the article goes on for three pages talking about how much no one likes Westerns, while steadily stroking Brad Pitt for making "Blahblahblah Jesse James blahblahblah coward blahblah" (yeah that title is just too fucking long). Then they have the money-shot quote from James Mangold, the director of the remake of "3:10 to Yuma"
John Ford could just run amuck, carving out trails between sacred burial grounds and monuments. Now the environment is so protected in these national parks that we had 350 rangers watching every move if we step on one indigenous plant.You heard it in time first, the Western is extinct because of the Department of the Interior. Fucking government. I wonder if it ever occurred to these dicks to rent private land from people? I'm sure that there are ranchers who would hire out their land for filming...
5. The "Service" Industry. Why is it so difficult to get someone who is supposed to be providing you with a service to actually provide you with said service? This is an ongoing problem here in France and of-late a really big pain in the ass. I don't get it; people are supposed to be getting me information, which would allow me to pay them money. But they don't do it. So I don't pay them...Simple as that.
Bonus: This is just to get the "Bettman sucks" tag on this post, but why the fuck hasn't anyone in Philly other than the two league-minimum-losers gotten in any trouble? I saw that Jeff touched on this, but it is fucking outrageous that those cunts (yep, I said it) up in Toronto just don't give a shit...They took a lot of heat about head shots and stuff, so they've decided to dish out the penalties, but I am convinced that it's just a way to shut up their critics (don't worry faithful reader