WEEKLY TOP 10: BECAUSE KRIS HATES TOP 10 LISTS

10. I put a mirror in my living room so I can quickly poke my head out of the kitchen while I'm cooking to see what's on TV. This was a genius move, and I don't know why it took me 6 years of living in my apartment to figure this out.

9. Kris put up a fuckatively funny post the other day which made me think about, among other things, the Rotten Tomatoes "Tomatometer" ratings. Regardless of the fact that he didn't like "Knocked Up", I think we should use the percentages to pay the actors for their work. For example, if someone signs a $1 million contract to star in a flick, a 87% rating would net them 87% of that amount ($870,000), while a 3% rating would earn them only $30,000. That's still decent pay day, and they could also get a percentage of the box office receipts if they so choose, but it would make actors think twice before agreeing to make a piece of shit movie.

8. There's officially no difference in value between the US dollar and the Canadian loonie, as US$1.00000 now equals C$1.00507. I guess the Quebecois strippers won't be getting my money after all--they're probably all Russians anyway.

7. It's Halloween candy buying time, and it's already an undisputed fact that Brach's makes the best candy corn; it's not open for debate. But I discovered that they also make a fantastic "caramel candy corn", which I give 9 thumbs up.

6. I'm not sure why I didn't look into this before: Planet Fitness only charges $10 a month (after a $59 initiation fee, at the newly opened Nanuet location). Wow, I was paying $57 at my previous gym before I quit. Plus, they're open 24 hours on the weekdays, so I can run on the treadmill at 2 AM! Finally! Okay, maybe not. I'll still hate the gym, but the lower price will make it much less painful.

5. Here's a fantastic golf story. Bruce Crampton, who had a reputation as being a bit ornery, was partnered at a pro-am with a woman. At the beginning of the round she told him that a friend bet her $10 that he wouldn't say 5 words to her all day. His response was: "Sorry lady, you lose". He didn't speak to her again. A perfect demonstration of douchebaggery if I've ever heard one.

4. The season premiere of HEROES featured one of the more egregious product placements that I've ever seen. When dropping off Claire at her new cliche-ridden high school (the head cheerleader is so mean to newbies!), the camera sweeps across the front bumper of the family car in such a way that not only can we tell it's a NISSAN their driving, but it fills my entire widescreen HDTV and obscures the actors. Then he hands her the keys and she excitedly shrieks, "The Rogue?!?" Uhm, the what? Why, it's the new NISSAN Rogue crossover vehicle, which 3 identical commercials in a row informed us several minutes later. The trade-off for less ads is more NISSAN logos shoved in your face during the show? Pretty disgusting.

3. I read this with alarm: ad blocking plug-ins like AdBlock might be illegal. Fuck you, internet advertisers, I'll block ads in Firefox if I want to. The only thing that incessant web ads do is make me NOT want to buy your product (or tune into your show, like NBC's Chuck). You know what I hate? Those irritating Lowermybills.com ads with some dancing thing on it telling me I can easily put my house into foreclosure RIGHT FROM MY COMPUTER! Ugh.

2. Tiger Woods will be playing this weekend in the "USA vs. The Others" Presidents Cup. I guess I'll tune in, but I'm honestly worn out after the "playoffs". So since that's over, is this like the PGA equivalent of the Pro Bowl?

1. AMAZON has finally announced its online digital music download service called, well, AMAZONmp3. There are several things that make it better than iTunes: the tracks are DRM-free to use on any player, nice sounding 256kbps mp3s, the tracks are always cheaper (ranging from $0.49-$0.99), and you get a discount for buying the entire album at once. It's just been released into public beta and several record companies haven't signed on, but the selection is growing every day. Very promising, and a welcome alternative to the iAppleTunes.

WEEKLY TOP 10: TIGER IS STILL GOOD, ELVIS IS STILL DEAD

10. Why does Boeing advertise on TV? Are there really people out there that don't know who Boeing is? Are there billionaires watching golf that will decide to buy a Boeing plane because they saw their commercial? Actually, I don't want to know that.

9. The proliferation of pointless preseason games has begun, meaning the 2007 NFL season is right around the corner. Apparently, referees will be using HD for their video reviews this season. So they will be able to see in crystal clarity what HDTV owners have been seeing for years: just how badly they fucked up the call.

8. This year, the Pittsburgh Steelers (for some reason) have a new scary mascot, and the "fans" have voted to name him . . . Steely McBeam. WTF? Any relation to Hootie McBoob? Maybe they should have gone with Big McLargehuge, from MST3K's Space Mutiny.

7. There's just something about a woman saying in a personal ad that one of her favorite artists is "Kip Winger (solo)" that's a complete turnoff to me. Call me picky, but life is too short for that.

6. As of 8/16/2007, one US dollar is worth 1.07 Canadian dollars. That's horrible! A few years ago it was about $1.30. Well, you had your chance Montreal strippers, but I don't think it's even worth coming up there anymore. I don't care if the Roughriders are playing the Rough Riders for the Grey Cup, I ain't coming up there if there ain't no cheap whores to throw my loonies at! So you can forget aboot it!

5. Apparently, everyone in Hollywood has decided that Chuck is the new name of comedy (or lack thereof). In a matter of weeks we are inundated with two movies ("I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" and "Good Luck Chuck") and a TV show (obviously named "Chuck"). There are probably also some porns in the works (I'm guessing maybe "Fuck Chuck" may be one of them). Enough. I want to upchuck.

4. Man, I am THISCLOSE to buying a Sony Playstation 3 and a copy of Madden '08. It just looks crazy good, and it's in HD and everything. Plus, I would have a Blu-Ray player, and although it's early, it appears to be winning the format war vs. HD-DVD.

3. Tiger Woods won his 13th major (the 89th PGA) on Sunday, which was pretty much a foregone conclusion after his asskicking 63 on Friday. When asked how he felt to have his wife and baby girl waiting in the clubhouse, he said, "I've never felt anything like this. It's cool." Tiger: a phenomenal golfer, and a tremendous dork. One question to CBS: if Ernie Els had won the tourney, did you have a cutesy childhood photo montage of him ready? I'm thinking probably not.

2. I might have to visit BARCADE! This cool-ass establishment is exactly what it sounds like: a bar filled with classic arcade games. Unlike a cheeseball place like Dave & Busters, it actually has excellent brews on tap (25+) to back it up: Abita, Rogue, Smuttynose, Victory, et. al. I just wish it was in my neighborhood instead of in Brooklyn.

1. It's 30 years later, and Elvis Presley is still dead. To honor The King, here's the "laughing version" of "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" from 1969. Allegedly, after a fan removed his toupee in the audience he changed the words to "Do you stare at your bald head and wish you had hair?", and subsequently could not stop laughing.



Funny story: back on August 16, 1977 I was with my dad and sister driving up to Maine, and as we were flipping around on the radio there seemed to be a lot of Elvis songs on the radio. After several hours of this, a DJ finally announced the news of his demise to clear things up. It was a big story in Maine, because he was supposed to play a concert/destroy a buffet in Portland the next day. To this day if we ever hear several songs by the same artist on the radio, we say, "Another song by him? Did he die?"

WEEKLY TOP 10: HAPPY ROBUST!

10. After weeks and weeks of asking "Is It Robust Yet?", it's finally here! No news on whether or not Rob will be celebrating with the "31 Days Of Robust", as he did in 1999. I'm sure a whole lotta golf will be played, however.

9. I've been working like a dog in Mike Vick's kennel. Thankfully, I have a 4 day vacation this weekend. Whew.

8. The early reports on Karl's weisse beer is that it's "so light, a pregnant woman could drink it while driving." Sounds like Michelob Ultra should use that as their tagline. On the other hand, I should do an entire Drinky Drinky post about the Gilded Otter's Hefe Weisen. It's that good.

7. I want to buy a Dell Vostro laptop just because it sounds like a mysterious Eastern Bloc magician. Behold, from Transylvania: THE MAGNIFICENT VOSTRO!

6. I had 4 birdies and NO pars while playing golf on Saturday at New Paltz Golf Course. That's hard to do for most people, but not for me, the most inconsistent golfer I know. Here's my shot on the 150 yard par 3 13th (4th) which I had to take for posterity:

As a bonus, this link says I could get free round of golf on my birthday, which I can redeem anytime within a week before or after. So I can play golf in upstate New York for free anytime from February 7 - 21? Awesome!

5. Scariest concert listing I've seen this year: "Disney's High School Musical: The Ice Tour". Oh the horror. I haven't seen the movie, but is there a lot of skating involved?

4. My nephew Brandon is only 1½, but he already knows baseball (he calls it "batball"). I don't have the heart to tell him that Bonds is an asshole.

3. HOCKEY NEWS: The NHL might be back on ESPN in 2008-09. Hopefully, this means it will actually be covered on SportsCenter, and magically viewers will consider it a sport again! A small part of me wants Bettman to tell Bristol to fuck off, but if it means more visibility for hockey they have to do it.

2. I have invented a new diet: the 3 Letter Word Diet. True to its name, you are only allowed to consume foods that have three letters in them. Here is the entire menu:

Vegetables: cob (corn), pea, soy.
Fruits: fig.
Fish: gar, roe.
Meats: hen, hog/ham/pig.
Breads: nan.
Dairy: egg.
Drinks: eau (H2O) and tea.
Snacks: jam, gum, pie.
Cooking methods: pan fry (or wok) with oil or fat.

And you are free to consume plenty of ale, gin, rum, and rye! Oh, I didn't say anything about it being healthy.

1. Here's an ad for River City Bagels in Boise, Idaho. I don't want to know how they get the holes in them . . .

TOP 10 WEEK IN REVIEW: THINGS

10. I hate walking across a parking lot, and you step on that blacktop fixer stuff and it squishes under your feet.

9. Things that shouldn't be: another X-Files movie.

8. Things that should be: a Mr. Show movie (confirmed by Paul F. Tompkins to be in the works).

7. Things I don't give a shit about: an NBA refereeing scandal, since the entire sport is unwatchable horseshit anyway.

6. Things that make me laugh: This Marlon Brando interview from a TIME magazine from 1976. They were already saying "most of his movies are awful", and this was pre-"The Island of Dr. Moreau", and before he discovered "A Streetcar Named Dessert".

5. This week, 3 of the Top 10 Billboard chart albums were by pretty damn good bands: #2 Smashing Pumpkins, #4 Interpol and #9 Spoon. Question: why release all those indie rock albums in one week? Bon Jovi and Linkin Park were also in there, making it 5 out of 10 albums that were not rap/R&B/pop related. So rock is not dead, it's just really sleepy.

4. I got an automated voice message from the New Jersey Devils trying to get me to buy tickets to go to Newark. Here's an idea: how about you pay ME?

3. Things I should read more of: Modern Drunkard Magazine.

2. Well, if a filthy stinkin' Euro had to win the Open, at least it's Padraig Harrington, and not Los Pantalones Feos. I even said, in one of my famous blognostications, he'd win the 2006 Open and "drink Guinness out of the Claret jug". So I'm ahead of the curve, and not dead wrong. Just so you know.

1. Reasons to visit Accuweather.com: Kate "Confessions of a Weathergirl" Bilo.



Hey, I've got a high pressure system . . . in my PANTS!

WEEKLY TOP 10:

10. I don't think there's really anything in those bottles of "Shower Clean" spray. It's just rubbing alcohol laced with a stimulant that smells like fresh flowers that insures that you will continue to be a happy consumer. Well I say, fight the power! Put the Arm & Hammer down!

9. GQ and Esquire magazines each have their strengths and weaknesses, but they're each irritating enough that I can't subscribe to either of them. Maybe they can combine forces, cut out the crap and become EsGQuire. Good article in an otherwise useless golf article in GQ: "If you attend a tournament and the guy next to you shouts "Get in the hole!", punch him in the face."

8. Don Cheadle may star in a biopic about Miles Davis, and I would definitely sign on for that, especially since he is wary of (and is trying to steer clear of) the Hollywoodified pseudo-bios "Walk The Line" and "Ray". (Every time I see that scene where Johnny Cash, after a tense Thanksgiving dinner with his family at his new house, tries to start the tractor to garner his father's approval, I think "THERE'S NO WAY THAT EVER FUCKING HAPPENED!!!") Meanwhile, if you haven't seen it yet, go rent "Hotel Rwanda", because that stuff actually happened, and worse is happening in Darfur as we speak/blog. Good thing my elected representatives have been discussing what can be done with this situation. What? They haven't? Well, that's fantastic.

7. If you're going to sell a "blueberry" muffin, I'd prefer if you told me that there were also artificially colored and flavored non-fruit bits in there. I cut into said muffin and found some unnatural looking blueish/purplish coloring inside which looked like the shade of my car's paint. I ate half of it, and after I realized that it had the fake flavor of Nerds candy, I threw the rest out.

6. Great word I saw on Onion AV Club: "Smurfian", used to describe a high man to woman ratio (Smurfette's dilemma). As in: "Let's get out of here, the proportions in this bar have become too Smurfian."

5. I saw a cover photo of some female "socialite" on a snooty magazine the other day with the name TINSLEY MORTIMER. Sheesh. You can't even make up a name more ridiculously high-class WASPy than that. Just for shits and giggles I did a Google search, and now I completely hate myself for reading this profile about her. Here's a choice passage:

"Tinsley first made her way into photographed New York society as an accompaniment to Topper’s sister Minnie."

Apparently, all she's ever accomplished in life is getting married to a wealthy douchebag nicknamed "Topper" and getting a lot of pictures taken of her. So fucking what? Even more sickening are the people who actually care, and worship these rich and famous nobodies. Seriously, this country needs to stop focusing on this vacuous nonsense and fix its priorities.

4. I'm having trouble getting excited about The Open Championship, but I do like saying "Carnoustie". Say it with me: CAR-NOOO-STEE! Slip it into conversation as many times as you can this weekend. Although I won't doing an Extravaganza Preview this time around, I will give you a bonus blognostication for the 136th Open: a Frenchman will not win this year.

3. I don't know which I hate more: ironic T-shirts, or those who wear them. While in Manhattan the other night I saw a hipster doofus wearing a GOONIES T-shirt. Oh I see, it's a crap movie that came out before you were born that you're pretending to like--ha ha, very funny! But at the end of the day you're WEARING A FUCKING GOONIES T-SHIRT, YOU ANNOYING PANSY. Of course, I haven't shopped in the city in quite some time, so it's very possible that they don't sell anything BUT ironic T-shirts. It also looks like city hipsters can't afford to pay rent AND buy razor blades, judging by the awful collection of porn mustaches and hideous beards I had to endure.

2. Since the Mets have decided to call their new ballpark "Citi Field", how about we call it "Debits Field" instead? Get it?

1. I never thought I'd see this in my lifetime: a Rutgers football team prominently featured in a EA Sports videogame.



Now they just need to put the Rutgers Golf Course on a disc and I won't have to get off the couch.

WEEKLY TOP 10: I'M OUT OF MATERIAL

10. Best Simpsons Character Ever? Homer is obviously the best character, but after him I'd have to go with Moe.

9. A big "fuck you" goes out to NBC Universal, who has been sending out "anti-pirating" notices to Optimum Online customers that have "uploaded copyrighted content" to prevent people from "file sharing". Notice how they don't actually accuse anyone of "downloading", and personally I only acquire these files when I've missed an episode, and I delete them immediately afterwards. However, the way file sharing (using bit torrent) works, this means you don't even have to have an entire usable file to be accused of "piracy" and have your cable modem priviledges revoked, which in my book is complete bullshit. Also, doesn't NBC-U realize that this means people are actually interested in their stupid shows? Well, it looks like I won't be tuning into any of your new shows. Imbeciles.

8. Which is creepier: massive amounts of bandwidth devoted to pictures of 17 year old Emma Watson, or 17 year old Hayden Panettiere? Or the fact that I'm linking to them?

7. On MovieMap you can input your favorite movie and it recommends others that you might like. It just so happens that close to my favorite movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark" on the map are "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "The Empire Strikes Back", which are also two of my all-time favorites. Also, "The Incredibles" and "Decline and Fall of Western Civilization" are close by, as are "Caddyshack" and "Animal House", which I also love. So I guess this means I have to check out "Now, Voyager" and "The Quiet Man".

6. I played with the Nintendo Wii this weekend, which my cousin Heather brought over. Even though the graphics aren't great, it more than makes up for it with the inventive wireless remote controllers and the immersive interactivity of the games. The best games are Wii Tennis (from Wii Sports) and Tiger Woods PGA Tour (though it's nearly as frustrating as real golf). The most unique thing about the system, the motion-sensing "Wiimotes", is also its biggest problem, since the wild motions people make while playing the game can cause injuries (e.g. my sister hit my niece in the head, and my shoulder is sore from playing tennis).

5. Running up that hill: Carlos Beltran's game-saving catch was great, especially since it took place with a man on 3rd in the 14th inning (a ridiculously long game which the Mets won in 5-3 in the 17th).



4. Bill "Boston Sports Guy" Simmons is simultaneously a douchebag and a genius for live blogging the 2007 NHL Draft a few weeks ago. On one hand, he's really smarmy and sarcastic about the state of the league (even though his beloved NBA took a bigger ratings drop this year than the NHL did), but overall he puts the emphasis on how much Bettman sucks. And that's all you can ask for from an ESPN employee.

3. Speaking of, this Situationist article is interesting: "Negative Press: Is ESPN Killing the National Hockey League by Influencing Public Attitudes?" My short answer is that ESPN sure isn't helping, but Bettman is doing most of it himself. Did I mention Bettman sucks?

2. If you really want to hate the final episode of "The Sopranos", just read TV critic Bob Harris' article: Tony Soprano didn’t just get whacked; he practically got a funeral. A key quote:

"In Catholicism, administration of the Eucharist in the moments before death is known as Viaticum, derived in part from the Latin for...'Journey.'"

That's right, he's alluding to the group who sang the fucking power ballad used in the final scene. This is what happens when people try too hard to defend an awful series finale: you end up with this overwrought analysis.

1. We just had our annual "Diversity and Harassment" training, and I couldn't help but think of G.O.B.'s speech from Arrested Development:



I like this presentation much better.

WEEKLY TOP 10: iRAGE!

This format is kind of fun when I can't think of a reason to do a full blog post. So here I go again, on my own, with another lame list.

10. Don't you hate when you start the day off with your underwear all bunched up and not quite on straight, and for the rest of the day it just doesn't feel right?

9. Jill Nicolini, who does the CW11 New York traffic report, posed for Playboy back in 2001 (NSFW) as "Jill Nikki". I'll never watch the news the same way again. That is, with my pants on.

8. Among other things, it's nice to know that the The Chinese also make crappy tires, which so far have killed 2 people leading to the recall of 450,000 tires. The best news: this company makes tires for Yokohoma, which are the crap tires on my car (one blew out with only 4000 miles on it--coincedence?).

This news comes hot on the heels of the killer pet food debacle, child toys discovered made with lead paint, and now the closure of 180 food plants for safety violations--is there anything they can't screw up? This sentence from a NY Times article neatly sums it up: "The incidents are the latest indications that cutting corners or producing fake goods is not just a legacy of China’s initial rush toward the free market three decades ago but still woven into the fabric of the nation’s thriving industrial economy." Oh boy.

7. My current favorite porn star name: Bolivia Samsonite. What the hell? Were all the good ones taken? And what if your luggage is lost on the way back from South America? That would be quite an eye-opening Google search.

6. This is quite possibly the ugliest hockey uniform I've ever seen: it's the Sheffield Steelers, from the British Elite Ice Hockey League (which I had no idea even existed):
Ugh, I bet when you buy that jersey they give you a free bowl of soup. I almost chose the Coors Belfast Giants because of the hideous color scheme/ginormous Coors ads, but they've redesigned their jerseys and they'll probably be much better--nah, they'll still be hideous. Oh, and there are no goalies in this league, only "netminders".

5. Protesters torch Iran gas stations. Huh, that's interesting. Maybe the country will destroy itself, and save us the hassle. Let me guess: this will somehow make the price of gas skyrocket just in time for the 4th of July!

4. Geeks die of heat stroke waiting for iPods. Okay, this hasn't happened . . . yet. This is my official last post about Apple / iPhone / iPod / iCrap. Here's my favorite part of the NY Times review of the iPhone:

"Making a call, though, can take as many as six steps: wake the phone, unlock its buttons, summon the Home screen, open the Phone program, view the Recent Calls or speed-dial list, and select a name."

Six steps? By that time, I'll forget what I was calling about. In other words, it's a phone that's not very convenient to use as a phone. Wait, it's called the iPHONE--phone is right in the NAME!

The thing is if it were any other company announcing they were releasing a cool phone, say Nokia or Samsung, I'd be okay with it. But Apple (and their fanbase) is just so damn smug about it that you almost root for them to fail. They're nothing but a shrewd company who has successfully brainwashed millions convincing them to purchase their overpriced, hip consumer electronics. Sure, their gadgets are fairly well designed and packed with innovative technology, but spending $600 on an iPhone will not validate your existence. Thanks. I'm done.

3. I am currently reading "Innocent When You Dream", an excellent compendium of Tom Waits interviews and articles from 1974-2005. I've flipped through it the last few days and read different parts of it and it's already eminently quotable. Here's an excerpt from a pre-Rain Dogs interview (p. 88) where he talks about New York City:

"When you see a leg come out of a cab with a $150 stocking and a $700 shoe and step in a pool of blood, piss, and beer left by a guy who died a half hour before and is now lying cold somewhere on a slab, you just take it all in. But it doesn't really apply anywhere else. I don't know how you go from New York to anywhere else. It's like being in a very bizarre branch of the service. "I was in four years." I read that there's a barge that goes out into the Atlantic with all the limbs from all the hospitals, and it got into a storm and capsized, and all the limbs washed up on Jones Beach. People were swimming and all of a sudden things got a little odd, a little dark. You've got to love it here, though."

I might have to make this a regular OH blog feature, "Tom Waits quote of the week".

2. The Pocono Record is known for its hard-hitting journalism; well, in a perfect world it would be. Just check out this article, which would make the New York Post editors blush:

LAP DANCING ON GOLF COURSE ANGERS NEIGHBORS; WITH GRAPHIC VIDEO

How can you NOT click on that? (Note to self: get subscription to this newspaper.) I love the long haired guy teeing off in the middle of it--how could you possibly hit a nice drive under those conditions? And I've been to Stroudsburg and sweet Jebus, there's not a damn thing to do up there--let them have a little fun.

My favorite line from the police cops, of course: "This is an ongoing investigation." Probably followed by: "We may have to deploy several officers to CR Fanny's Gentleman's Club to investigate, and the fact-finding process may take several months or even years. Yes, I am aware that the establishment's name is a ribald pun." Personally, I'm appalled by the fact that they had "threesomes". Everyone knows that for a golf outing everyone should be in FOURSOMES. I find it disgusting and offensive that no one follows golf etiquette.

1. T-Shirt of the Week: twoeightnine's MASSHOLE (you know who you are).

WEEKLY TOP 10: HACKENEYED CLICHÉS

This is my new lazy-ass blogging technique: a week end wrapup top 10 list. I'm sure I'll probably never do this again.

10. Nothing says unwanted pregnancy and shame like a bottle of blackberry brandy.

9. Bebo. I have no idea what that means, but it's the next MySpace. Hopefully, it doesn't suck as hard as MySpace.

8. (Yeah, this has become a hackeneyed cliche, but here goes.)
An upper deck box seat in Shea, one of the dumpiest ballparks on the planet: $29
Parking your car in a miserable unpaved dirt field next to Northern Blvd: $14
A Miller Lite in a plastic bottle: $7.25
Being consumed by my seething white-hot hatred for everything concerning Major League Baseball: Priceless.

7. People who sleep out to buy an iPhone really should re-evaluate their lives. I have decided that I will never buy an iPod.

6. It's never too early to get your "Huck Fillary" gear. I might go for the teddy bear.

5. The Pittsburgh Pirates may not have a real team, but at least they have a sense of humor. I think the parrot gets whacked.

4. The Whiskey Bottle PC. We all know what to do with a full whiskey bottle, but what about an empty one? This guy cut one in half and put a complete PC inside. Pretty amazing.

3. For the first time ever in NHL draft history, the top 2 players were Americans. Take that Canada, you freakin' hosers! Bettman still sucks.

2. Congratulations to Angel Cabrera for winning the 2007 US Open. As Rob said, "The sight of Angel lighting up a heater every hole is sure to get some undies in a bunch." Hey, and at least it wasn't a filthy Euro. Speaking of, that awesome world-beating European 2006 Ryder Cup team did great at Oakmont: only 3 of 9 made the cut (Casey, Olazabal, Westwood), and all the big names missed the cut (Monty, Stenson, Donald, Sergio, Harrington, Karlsson). Meanwhile, 8 out of 12 Americans were makin' money, with only FIGJAM, Wetterich, Taylor, and Cink missing the cut. In other words, when it's every man for himself, the US team is the best!

1. Weird-O-Matic has a great collection of creepy ads. If I had to choose the creepiest one, it would be this Lysol ad.