WRIST SHOTS: DUCK HUNT

Bad news: some thugs tried to rob PS3 shoppers in line at a Wal-Mart in Putnam, CT and someone was shot. Good news: it was a Nintendo NES fake gun stolen from that "Duck Hunt" game.

Speaking of, look out Sabres, guess who has more wins and less losses than you? That's right, the no-longer-mighty Ducks, who are tied with the most points in the NHL with 38.

The Devils have had a horrible Western roadtrip (thankfully, they only do this once every THREE years now), going 0-3 and being outscored 9-3, despite Marty's solid play (save % of 0.91 and GAA of 2.36). The only offensive highlight of the whole trip was Brian Gionta scoring on a quick burst of speed between two Duck defensemen to beat Giguere, leaving the defensemen completely flat-footed. Actually, since their not technically "on foot", what would be the hockey equivalent of "flat footed"? "Flat skated"? "Dull bladed"?

Dissing Cristal, Jay-Z has chosen his new champagne: Armand de Brignac, the "gold bottle with the ace of spades" on it. Hey Kris, I need some of this for the holidays, you're in France, could you help a brutha out?

I borrowed a Japanese cough drop from a coworker the other day. It says it has eucalyptus and spinach in it. I don't know what to say about that. It's Halls Mentholspinach! Man, I have to get out of this company.

What kind of world are we living in when a comedian has to apologize for racist remarks he made while on stage? (Isn't that pretty much EVERY COMEDY ACT?) Oh, that's right, the Seinfeld Season 7 DVD is out, that's why. I envision a phone call from stately Seinfeld Manor: "Mike, take care of this mess. NOW." Man, this country is sensitive, even more so when money is involved.

I love this article (thanks Rob): 'BEER GOGGLES' EFFECT EXPLAINED. In true BBC style, they report on this without a hint of irony. These "scienticians" got government grant money for this?

As Rob was trying to explain the concept of a "Freudian slip" to a BS bartender, he said "Well, maybe it was more of a Jungian slip." My reply: "She's too Jung for you."

Listen up, snowboarders: yes, I know you're all extreme with your big air tricks and half-pipe tomfoolery. But why do you constantly feel the need to grind down the railing along the stairway leading to the lodge? Look behind you: there's a whole mountain covered with snow, deeply packed and freshly groomed, and you're using the stairs? It's a SNOW board, SNOW is even conveniently in the name to give you a hint as to what you should be using it on. Snowboarders: you are ON NOTICE.

From now on, Colts WR Marvin Harrison will be known as OCHO OCHO (or double ocho).

NFL UPSET SPECIAL: New Orleans (+3) over Atlanta. Fun fact: 74 year old K Morten Andersen is the all-time leading scorer for BOTH teams.