Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Here's one of those moments where I have nothing at all to say. People blog all the time, every day, several times a day, and I can't figure out how they do it. They must all be getting paid to post such timely witticisms, because I just can't hack it. All I want to say is my UPSET SPECIAL, the New Orleans Saints (+6.5), got it done on Sunday night. Yeah, I know I didn't get a chance to post it, but this is my blog and that was my choice: check my Week 14 pick 'em sheet if you don't believe me. I'm surprisingly high up on the Deadspin Pants Party leaderboard (tied for 51st out of 2512 people).

Anyway, thanks again to Cablefuckingvision for not showing the Sabres/Devils game in HD last night (instead we got to see the Rangers play the last place Flyers); I couldn't even watch it because the picture on OLN Versus The Rodeo Channel looks like crap. The Devils dominated the 1st but didn't score; the Sabres took over after that, and held on for a 3-2 win. THIS JUST IN: THE SABRES ARE GOOD (ALTHOUGH THEY'RE NO DUCKS). On the other hand, although Monday night's entertaining Caps/Pens game (in HD) was billed as "Ovechkin vs. Crosby I", the spotlight was stolen by Malkin's sweet head fake to beat Kolzig during the shootout. If the Pens had a good goalie, they'd be in first place. Regardless, it would be great if the Islanders, Devils, Rangers and Penguins were all in the hunt for the Atlantic Division crown.

It's funny, because as soon as me and my parents each got our respective HDTVs, we've discover that there's NOTHING TO WATCH (and my parents will watch almost anything). For some reason, multiple shows have chosen to have "fall finales" (Lost, Heroes, neither of which I'm interested in following anymore), and others end in midseason (like TARX). I turn the TV on primarily to watch a sporting event in HD, and maybe catch The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Simpsons, or something on the Discovery Science Channel, and that's it.

So I'm not sure why I didn't just go to bed after watching another humorous Colbert Report, because shortly thereafter I stumbled upon Howard Stern on Letterman. I have to say that I wasn't amused or repulsed by his appearance; he's now in that "meh" category to me. Afterwards, I sat in disbelief while Gwen Stefani yodeled through her new craptacular song. And no, I'm not making a joke here: she fucking yodels. If this is what passes for "pop music" nowadays, that's the way it goes (the 70s disco years were no better), but I never thought I'd long for the "No Doubt years". Regardless, I can never get that 3 minutes back; I think just watching and listening to that song made me dumber.

(BTW, I'm not interested in The Amazing Race: All-Stars Edition, coming in February. I like to see new teams of 2 try to win the million bucks, not a bunch of reality show whores like Rob and Ambuh. Screw TARASE!)

Dwyane Wade is the SI Sportsman Sportsperson of the Year. First of all, from now on I'm going to call him "D.W. YANE", just like it's spelled. And second of all, who even cares about SI? When was the last time they were relevent anyway? I guarantee a "focus group" convened and determined, "If we choose an NBA star for the cover, more people might buy the magazine, and those who don't will be pissed off by the choice, yet still mention SI." Great. Let's not actually choose who we think should WIN, we'll let a marketing firm decide it for us. What crap. Anyway, my vote was for Tiger Woods, because his win and emotional breakdown after the Open showed that not only is he still the best golfer, but that he's also human. I would have chosen Roger Federer, but no one watches tennis and my guess is that he's a cyborg.

(Okay, maybe I had a few things to say, although none of them were interesting.)

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