This is an open letter to anyone who may be looking to imbed a video. Don't use Hulu. Those fucking pricks don't allow me to watch the video because "My region is not supported."
Especially a video for a superbowl ad or something. That stuff can be found on the Youtubes.
I'm assuming that Hulu offers to fellate you (or something...) if you imbed their videos, but they can fellate me because I am unable to watch them.
In summary: Youtube = acceptable. Hulu = Fuck off.
Since it's Indy 4th here in the States (which should be a national hoilday, but whatever), I decided to post the first in a series of tributes to video games that I spent a lot of time playing as a kid. These meant a lot to me growing up, and effected me in some way, probably negatively.
I had the Raiders of the Lost Ark videogame for the Atari 2600 back in 1982. Right off the bat, it was hard to understand and seemed to have very little to do with the movie. As I recall I could only get as far as the Map Room and couldn't figure it out what to do next. This game just made me feel like a dummy. This marked the first time a video game was so confounding that I couldn't solve it (I would later add many games to that list). But since there was no "internet" to help you walkthrough the game, you had to rely on word of mouth and some abstract logic to solve it.
Here's a helpful video guide showing someone beating this classic craptacular puzzle game in real time. I know you've all been waiting for this.
* The inventory system was pretty groundbreaking at the time, listing all the objects you were carrying along the bottom of the screen. Here it looks like Indy picks up his bullwhip, gun, flute (to charm the snakes, duh), key, grenade, clock, hourglass, an ankh, and all sorts of other things I can't remember. You could only use one at a time, though. The other thing that was irksome: the icon on the screen frequently looked different than the inventory icon (pile of coins becomes a sack), so you had to be paying attention.
* I love how back then a grenade was just a single pixel (0:53), and you didn't even get to see the explosion, you only heard an off-screen "beep". Nowadays, videogame grenades are photorealistic and can be used to blow yourself up in spectacular ways in Liberty City.
* Using the grappling hook (yes, that's what that blue circling dot is at 2:40) to get across the desert mesa tops was maddening.
* Ah, then there's the Map Room (3:30). No, not the amazing Chicago beer bar, but the crappy pixelated one that told you where to dig for the Ark of the Covenant. The most excruitating thing about this board was that, just like in the movie, you had to wait for the "sun" to point to the proper place. And wait. And wait. Here it takes well over 2 minutes (FF to 5:38) for the little flashing dot to pop up on the map. Just imagine a 12 year old just sitting and staring at the screen for that long! I didn't have the patience (or probably thought the game was broken) so this is where I stopped.
* You then to avoid the "thieves" in the marketplace who would steal your loot (a board that suspiciously resembled "Frogger") to the Black Market (6:22) to buy a shovel. That's right, guns and grenades are readily available in garbage cans 15 seconds into the game, but shovels are treated as illegal contraband.
* I also love how the bullwhip can break through walls (7:18) which I never knew was possible, and which certainly didn't happen in the movie.
* For some reason he buys three parachutes (8:55)? You lost me. (I guess you could miss and have to buy another, but he makes it on the first try.)
* Now to the convoluted endgame: with the ankh in hand, you have to parachute down to the tree limb, avoid more "thieves" and dig at the proper spot (9:23). Voila! There's the Ark! Come to think of it, it's easier to accomplish here than in the movie.
This guide explains everything up to the Map Room.
What a bizarre little puzzle game this was.
(I realize that I'm the only one who cares about this stuff. Yes, I'm queer for Indy.)
There's nothing in the NHL rule book that prohibits it, so it's all perfectly legal (just like Avery's antics, or Barry Bonds sticking a needle in his ass). The Bruins have reportedly signed him to a 12 year/$48 million deal, and the Russian Superleagues are outraged. I fully expect Colin Campbell to add an "unsportmanslike ursine" penalty to stop such egregious wrongdoing in the future.
Yeah, I'm phoning it in too. Let's just mention quickly:
* Marty flopped and dove his way to an embarrassing Game 4 loss last night (or so I've heard, I didn't watch one second of it and I feel better for it) as Staal's winner gave the Rangers a virtually insurmountable 3-1 series lead (and made up for his Game 3 off-the-skate-own-goal-in-OT).
* Some might say the Sens played lifeless hockey, that they're gutless, or their star players didn't step up, but I say this is the real reason they were swept:
I don't know where to start with that, but it appears that Sens Army is ambiguously gay and into cosplay. The part where the helmet falls down cracks me up everytime (next time go with JOFA instead of RBK). I'm just really pissed that I didn't picked them to lose in the first round, which is what I do every year! I'll show myself out.
It was a pretty desolate Saturday night in Nyack last week, because of a predicted snowstorm that didn't actually turn out to be any big deal. In a nearly empty Bourbon Street, we finally got Ray to play Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter" after bugging him for, I don't know, over three years. I understand his reluctance, since there's no way to figure out what the lyrics are; we ended up "singing" it for him from a sad combination of an awful internet "translation" and our equally awful "memory".
Here's "Misheard Lyrics Guy" and his best guess as to what the hell Eddie Vedder is warbling:
I woke up this morning and decided that ROCKTOBER had to be kicked up a notch. So here's a video of "October/New Years Day" by U2, live at the Red Rocks Amphitheater on June 5, 1983.
The book U2 BY U2 contains a lot of interesting background information on the band, especially this legendary concert that put them on the map. The weather leading up to this show was heavy rain and fog, and everyone in the Denver area assumed it was cancelled. But they had brought in a camera crew and had a lot riding on this show, they didn't want to postpone it. Although the rain let up just before show time, it wasn't well attended.
EDGE: "You might notice if you watch the Red Rocks video, there are very few crowd shots. The reason for that is the place was only a third full."
They pulled it off, thanks to clever editing using tight shots and amplified crowd noise that made it seem like a packed house.
Every time I see clips from this show all I can think is, "My god, it looks freezing." If you notice, Bono actually changed the lyrics to "under a thundercloud and rain", commenting on the adverse conditions. This performance is not on the Under A Blood Red Sky album, though it is on the "Live At Red Rocks" video which is only available on VHS (I would suspect U2 has this DVD re-release in the pipeline, to fund their retirement).
Interesting fact: on the initial release of this album in 1983 (on vinyl and cassette), Bono sings portions of "America" from West Side Story, and "Send in the Clowns" during the middle of "Electric Co." But because of copyright issues, they cut it out of subsequent pressings; I don't think it's ever appeared on CD. I actually own the original vinyl version of the album that has his ad-libbing intact (soon to be auctioned off on EBAY). Here's the Red Rocks performance of that song, including "Clowns" and Bono's "white flag routine" (essentially the Irish flag with the green and orange stripes removed).
I started writing a blog post for to celebrate the 10th anniversary (7/1/1997) of this influential album two weeks ago, but life got in the way. For those of you brave souls that really want to read my lengthy praise of it (for once, it's not a rant!), go visit The Dump. Meanwhile, here's the video for a track off the album called "No Surprises". It neatly illustrates the song's narrator who describes his longing to leave his living-in-a-fishbowl existence ("A job that slowly kills you"--ha!) by literally putting singer Thom Yorke's head in a glass bowl and filling it with water. Mr. Yorke is not an attractive frontman, a shortcoming which is magnified during the 1 minute in which his head is submerged. Wow, that lazy eye is even more stunning.
GooTube is going to be the death of me. Every time I look on there and decide that 99.99% of it is a craptacular waste of space, I find a gem. Believe it or not, I've been looking for this clip.
Before his Late Night stint, David Letterman appeared in various sitcoms over the years (along with Jay Leno, which I remember seeing on "Good Times"). Here, Dave plays an obnoxious, abusive self-help motivational speaker named Ellsworth (of "Revitalization Konditioning" fame, apparently), on an episode from the first season of "Mork and Mindy" (1978-79).
"Perhaps you can understand this: sit down, and shut up." You have to love the word "scuzz", I haven't heard anyone use that since the 70s. And that couch is a vritual who's who of, well, something: Robin Williams, Pam Dawber, Morgan Fairchild, and Tom Poston.
Okay, if you didn't like that one, here's a classic "Late Night With David Letterman" moment from 2/28/1984: THE VELCRO SUIT!
Since it's a GooTube video, it will probably be removed in 5 hours, but here's "Daddy Drank" from a classic Kids in the Hall episode. Starring Kevin McDonald and Dave Foley.
BTW, I heard that at CES2007, SONY introduced a new BRAVIA TV with an internet link, so you can watch HD, DVDs, videogames and YouTube all on one TV. What? Why would you spend $4000 to watch a crappy pixelated video of someone getting hit in the groin? YouTube's name is now Mangettinghitingroinwithfootball.com. Although I do like the Sling box.
It took them about 7 tries, but Coors Light finally made a funny "fake press conference" commercial (and it's only funny because the real Jim Mora press conference is hilarious).
