BEST SUMMER BREW™ REVIEW: SCHNEIDER WEISSE

This Hefe weisen was served in a 500 mL brown bottle accompanied with a nifty Schneider Weiss glass, with a slice of lemon on the rim. Pouring from the bottle was tricky, since it was heavily carbonated and produced a huge white head, so the slower the pour the better. Once it settled, it left very little head but produced a hazy, dark amber color, much darker than I anticipated. It had a nice wheaty, lightly spicy nose. My first sip revealed a well-balanced wheat beer with a pleasing light fruity flavor, and a not-too-overwhelming clove taste. Smooth and easy to drink, and I would have had several of these if the bar (Stuff Yer Face in New Brunswick, NJ) didn't have such a fantastic selection of bottled beer. The Germans sure do know their Weisse, and this is a fantastically drinkable summer beer. In fact, if you're in southern Florida, I'd choose this as your Miami Weisse. (Get it?)

Excellent beer (made even more so since I had just played golf in brutal 90°+ weather). Highly recommended.

BEST SUMMER BREW™ REVIEW: MAGIC HAT #9 I.P.A.

Okay, I'm going to make this one short. Vermont hippie brewed Magic Hat #9 IPA is not my cup of tea. Let's start off with the hideous pseudo-psychedelic orange and brown label, which is what your puddle of puke will look like after drinking too much of this. Pouring this into a glass, it was a funky orange amber color, with a frothy white head that dissipated quickly. It was a little hazy, as if it had been filtered through a used pair of hemp underwear after a Phish concert. The aftertaste was no treat: it was fruity and hoppy (FROPS!?), and not at all pleasant, like there was a party in my mouth, and Israel and Hezbollah were invited. Not a beer you could repeatedly drink on a hot summer day, and for that matter, you wouldn't want to waste your time with this on a cold winter day either.

Better luck with #10, you silly hippies!

Déterminations Securité

Canada's quarterly report on Section 58 (of some customs law, surely) has been published by our friends at Le Smoking Arme.

"Banned in Canada 2" is: get this...admissible...I wonder if the publishers are legally obligated to change the title to "Admissible in Canada 2," if they are looking for a new name, I suggest "Banned in Iran 2" (patent pending, patent pending).

Luckily for the Canadians (or at least those without a beastiality slant), "A horse cum taste" is banned.
But, "Hogtied, Tracey Hilton (horse)" is admissible.

British Steel and a Bed of Nettles: Banned
Desparate Carnal Housewives 1&2: Banned
Adventures in Facesitting: Admissible
Footslave Phophecies 1: Banned
Footslave Phophecies 2: Admissible
How are those poor Canuks going to be able to follow the sequel if they can't watch Vol. 1, I'm sure there are plot turns in V. 1 that need to be explained before your average Canadian citizen will be able to fully understand? What are these customs agents thinking?

I think this has come up before on Open Hockey, but I'll be damned if I'm going to check 2 years of archives to try to find the previous post. Ok, it was last year, and you can find the original post here.

A business opportunity for an American looking to get out of the lab. Set up a porn shop on the US side of Niagra Falls and start selling the likes of "Jackhammered, produced by Dick Wadd."

For Americans, Montreal is like the holy grail for strippers. Why are the Canuks so laissez faire for stripping, but they ban hard-core porn with such vigor?

BEST SUMMER BREW™ REVIEW: HINANO

We're trying a new format for the beer review of Hinano. Jeff and I were chatting and Jeff had the idea to post the comments we had as kind of a stream-of-consciousness review.

[We now join this chat already in progress]

me: Check this out

Jeff: mmmm beer gun

me: that's one way to speed up slow delivery in the bar...making a gun that'll take 12oz bottles...tough

my f--king neighbors have a bird, and all it does, all day long is chirps...I swear...I'm investing in a bb gun

Jeff: There are a lot of good ones in the beer category

me: nice: This is probably one of the most creative - http://www.google.com/url?sa=D&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worth1000.com%2Femailthis.asp%3Fentry%3D304440

Jeff: one word: defogger

just set it off when they're not in the apartment

love that

i can't stand those smug f***ing Apple commercials

me: yeah, the problem is that their windows are on the same wall as mine - so to get to this damn bird isn't that easy...

Did you read the review in Slate.com about those apple ads?

Jeff: no

why, should i?

or "why should I?"

Sent at 5:14 PM on Friday

Jeff: oh, i have to get some beer reviews up on the blog

me: I never get to see US commericals, so I get my news from stuff like slate...I don't even remember exactly what he said, but it was somewhere along the same lines as what you just said

Jeff: it's not like i haven't been drinking any, i've just been lazy

me: Part of his conclusion from Slate: And isn't smug superiority (no matter how affable and casually dressed) a bit off-putting as a brand strategy?

Jeff: Sierra Nevada Summerfest, Brooklyn Weisse, Magic Hat #9 IPA, Saranac Kolsch (which was AWFUL), Shipyard Summer Ale, all of these and more have been consumed!

EXACTLY

just sell your iCrap and shut up

me: Wow! I drank my Togolese beer, but I was at the beach and didn't pay much attentioni...Other than that I have a Weisse in the fridge and I NEED to go to the beer store soon b/c I'm all out

Oh, yeah, I drank a Fijan (fijian?) beer and it was awful...Bud in a different package...no taste...I didn't even review it

Jeff: And those were just the ones I had BEFORE work!

Fijian?

me: from Fiji

Jeff: What was with that weird animated smiley thing?

That scared me. But then again, I'm drunk.

me: I don't know - Gmail does it whenever you do THAT

Jeff: CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeff: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAKE IT STOP!!!!

me: wow, Google, taking over the world, one animation at a time

Jeff: You know someone was in a basement in Palo Alto working on that for 72 hours straight.

me: GET IT RIGHT DAMN IT!!! I don't want some 1/2 @ssed "Microsoft" image!

Jeff: MORE RED BULL I MUST CRUNCH CODE FOR INVERTING EMOTICONS

Sent at 5:21 PM on Friday

Jeff: There is no emoticon for what I'm feeling!

me: that beer I had was so underwhelming that I can't even remember the name, or actually confirm that it was from Fiji

Jeff: Fijiweiser?

me: Budiji?

Jeff: Fijiller Lite?

Sent at 5:24 PM on Friday

me: Jebus...it was from Tahiti: http://www.google.com/url?sa=D&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hinano.com%2Findex.php

Jeff: I went to a place called The Map Room while in Chicago. If I wasn't already drunk and could read the chalkboard, I would have tried several more of their beers. I think I had an Ayinger Weisse but I can't be sure . . .

Tahiti???

http://www.google.com/url?sa=D&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.maproom.com%2F

Yeesh.

me: yeah...Who knew that ancient french colonies could make fake bud?

Jeff: It's probably better than drinking the water . . .

Sent at 5:26 PM on Friday

Jeff: I think I've drank so much bottled/filtered water over the past few years that I can't process regular tap water anymore--the water I had in the Catskills a few weeks back tasted like antifreeze

me: yeah...that's true...Hopefully the alcohol kills any bacteria still in the water when they make the beer

Sent at 5:27 PM on Friday

Jeff: eh i just closed the window accidentally

i'm so wasted . . .

me: Created in 1955, they noticed their problems early and in 1957 "Mr Robert Ledoux realised the first taste improvements"

Sent at 5:29 PM on Friday

Jeff: Huh???

me: I don't know either...it's a bad translation from French I'm sure

are you really still drunk?

Jeff: i wish

no i haven't had a drink all week

just talking my liver into tonight's festivities

i had a Summer Ale on Tuesday, and about 1/5 of that awful Saranac crap

I lied

me: We went out for some going away party for julie's coworkers last night and since I don't know anyone, I buried myself in the bottles and bottles of red and rosé thatt were at the table

I was ok this morning, burning headache was all

Sent at 5:33 PM on Friday

Jeff: nice

me: I'm still looking at the Hinano website, check out this entry from 1976: "The sales to China takes over the presale" WTF? I don't even understand

Sent at 5:34 PM on Friday

Jeff: 1965: Hinano lawyers determine mass deaths were not for the purpose of the lager found with at the party.

me: 1993 "New label improvement made more modern"

2006: "Sale of bad crap beer, still main interest of company"

Jeff: 2005: Plutonium bottle scrapped for aluminum one, for increased image enhancer potential.

Sent at 5:37 PM on Friday

Jeff: 1959: Smoking and beer taken together proven by top scientitians to be double enjoyment for Hinano lovers!

me: 2007: Cancer rates for Hinano drinkers decrease 2000%

Jeff: I was just LLOL and my boss came in and asked "What's the matter?"

I admitted I"M DRUNK . . . ON LIFE!

me: nice!

does your boss speak english?

Jeff: I immediately pretended to be really into an Excel spreadsheet

Yes, XingXing knows many English words, and will disclose them when forced to.

The first panda bear to ever be taught English.

me: well, at least you've got that going for you...you "can" communicate, in a pinch, if need be

Jeff: I might be drunk by the time I make it to the dentist's office.

Uhm, sort of.

Sent at 5:41 PM on Friday

me: well, pandas had to start learning to speak sometime...It may also be the first panda bear to lead a chemistry group...have to look into that

Sent at 5:42 PM on Friday

[...]

Jeff: You have full permission to use any of my jokes herewith at your discretion.

---------------------------------------------

Anyway, you get the idea, Crap Beer. Zero thumbs up

"GOLF" IS "BLOG" SPELLED BACKWARDS

* Well, almost. I just wanted to link to The Golf Blog, which I stumbled upon whilst loitering on the InterWebs. I read a few articles they have posted and I've enjoyed them tremendously, especially the "majors" graph showing Tiger's progress vs. Nicklaus. In some places, I feel I've said (or thought) the same thing as some of their writers (especially about DiMarco), but they've done it more eloquently and succinctly than I ever could. (Yeah, I tend to ramble and joke a lot in my posts.) Check it out for some good golf blogging. (Although, if you're going to talk about Natalie Gulbis, we at least need a photo.)

* If you read this blog, and even if you don't, you might know that I give Phillis "FIGJAM" McBitchtits a hard time (mainly because he gives me the creeps). Although I saw a bitchy quote of his in one article, I decided not to bring it up, as he was a complete non-factor at the Open since day 1. But since he was awarded the coveted MSNBC WHINER OF THE WEEK, it officially warrants mentioning. After his final round 70 on Sunday, he had this to say:

"The pin positions were very challenging - that would be putting it nice," he told reporters. Was he saying they were unfair? "That is not my call," he replied. "But they were very difficult."

That's right. He's blaming the COURSE for finishing 13 strokes behind the champion. What a big flabby baby.

* In other golf news, Joe, Karl, Rob and I are going to play golf this Saturday at the Rutgers, The State University Of New Jersey, Golf Course in Piscataway, New Jersey. I've never played this course before, so it should be interesting. Designed by Hal C. Purdy and opened in 1963, it's a par 71 that plays 6,034 yards from the black tees, and 6,337 yards from the scarlet tees. Usually, red denotes "ladies" tees, but not here since they're the "Scarlet Knights". Get it? And in true Masters fashion, all the holes are named for trees:

1. Scarlet Oak / 10. Elm
2. Red Oak / 11. Sour Gum
3. Pin Oak / 12. Hickory
4. White Ash / 13. Scotch Pine
5. Pine / 14. Blue Atlas Cedar
6. Basswood / 15. Weeping Willow
7. Swamp White Oak / 16. Black Cherry
8. Crab Apple / 17. Mulberry
9. Hackberry / 18. Dogwood

I'll let you know how many of those I hit with my balls. Yeah, I admit it, I'm a total hackberry. Personally, I would have called No. 1 "The Larch". "The Larch." And now, No. 18, "The Horse Chestnut"!

* Steven Colbert did a funny "We Won!" flag-waving bit to open his show on Monday, where he praised Americans Tiger Woods, Floyd Landis, and Miss Puerto Rico (er, sort of American) for kicking ass on Sunday. Very funny. Here's the link to the CC video clip.

2006 OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP - WRAPUP

With surgical focus and precision, Tiger Woods tore apart the Royal Uglycourse at Hoylake on Sunday, successfully defending his Open title and winning his 11th major tourney. Everyone's already said what there is to say about it pretty much, but allow me to add a couple of things. For everyone who claims to like FIGJAM Mickelson because "he's a regular guy" and who is "more human", well you can't get any more human than the flood of emotion that Tiger displayed after this win. Yes, he's all business during 72 holes, but he's a likable guy and phenominal player that hits some truly astonishing shots. If you want a guy who smiles like a goon at everyone during a tournament and calls himself "an idiot", you can have Phil. As for me, given the choice between the two, I'll take Tiger. And his wife isn't bad either. (Rob made a great joke when I sent him a particularly goofy picture of Phil: "He looks like that guy at a party who won't stop talking about his coin collection." Exactly.)

Overall, it was a fantastic leaderboard coming into Sunday which, much to the dismay of all Europeans, ended with a lot of Americans at the top (3 of the top 4). Furyk was once again impressive, but I was really happy to see DiMarco's resurgence. After just losing his mother, he was simply awesome this weekend and was the only one close to challenging Tiger, a credit to his mental makeup and his motivation. He actually gets pumped while trying to chance Tiggs, unlike the rest of the field, it seems. Los Pantalones Feos once again wilted in the final round, shooting a 39 on the front (in stark contrast to his 29 on Saturday), and his hideous fucking outfits didn't help. (Seriously, someone step in and dress this kid. I know Adidas makes nice golf MEN'S clothes, I've seen them.) As for the rest, Els faded down the stretch, Goose was nowhere to be found, and first round leader McDowell shot a 79. Yikes. Along with Floyd Landis winning the Tour de France, it was great seeing Americans dominating over there, and I'm definitely looking forward to the Ryder Cup.

OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP - HALFTIME REPORT

Ahoy-hoy, from Hoylake!

I just wanted to give a half-assed update on the first two rounds of the Open at Hoylake/Royal Liverpool (most of the sports media has correctly stopped using the "British" before the name, it only took them about 133 years). First, this is the ugliest looking course I've seen host a major tournament in quite a long time. Due to their recent "heat wave" (in England, that means any time the temperature is above 80° for more than 2 hours, apparently), everything except the greens look like burnt straw. I'm not even sad that it's not in HD, because it looks bad enough.

The players have absolutely devoured this course, as Round One featured 67 players under par (an Open record since they began following this stuff in the 1950s). But unfortunately for the rest of the field, Tiger Woods has awoken from his slumber. After scrambling for pars all day on Thursday (most notably on the 10th, where it took him two swings to extricate himself from a high walled bunker), he reached the 565-yard par 5 18th in two, and sank a 28-foot eagle putt to place him only one behind first round leader Graeme "Chapman" McDowell. I'm sure that putt and his consequent fist pump resonated throughout the clubhouse, as word of his resurgence spread like the bubonic plague. Apart from that hole, he was putting with confidence all day and hit 2 iron instead of driver on every tee (and the two times he didn't hit driver he missed the fairway), and made few mistakes, if any.

Highlights from Round 2:

· We've got TWO Americans near the top of the Open heap, and if we really want to chap their European butts (as Rob put it), we need one of our guys to win this thing. Chris DiMarco has suddenly caught fire, playing nearly flawless golf with 8 birdies and only one bogey on the day. He's playing with a heavy heart since his mother just died (this is not getting as much press as Tiger coping with losing his dad--huh, imagine that). And of course there's Tiger, who holed out from 205 yards on the 14th hole for an eagle (I missed seeing it this morning, since I was making coffee at the time), and hit a 50 foot birdie putt, cruising to -12 after 36 holes. Furyk (-5), FIGJAM (-4), Duval (-4) also played well, so hopefully this American resurgence will spill over into Ryder Cup play at the K Club in Ireland this September.

· The big guys are back. Ernie "The Kaiser" Els is now just one shot behind Tiggs after tearing Hoylake a new one, also shooting a 65 (the new course record, as of today). Also, the Goose was loose and rode his unparalleled short game to a 66. Garcia and Furyk are also in the hunt, albeit 7 back. Except for Furyk, I predicted these guys would struggle, but they haven't.

· During TNT's commentary, Ian Baker-Finch pointed out that the Liverpudlians have a potent local drink called "idiot broth", and it only takes about 3 of them to put you to sleep. That's impressive. (I later found out that Urban Dictionary defines it as "any type of drink with high alcohol content and low price that an alcoholic prefers to drink just to get drunk. Okay then.)

· The cut is at EVEN par (or LEVEL, as they say in Europe), and Monty (Python) and Veeger shockingly did not make it. And since I chose Padraig to win, naturally he missed it as well, as did Ian "Ministry of Silly Pants" Poulter. Man, my blognostications continue to be the kiss of death. My advice is to never listen to a sports analyst ever, and I hope you extended heeded that advice my sports-related rants.

Anyway, it should be an interesting weekend at the Open.

UPDATE: The cut line was raised to -1. That's amazing, considering no one at the U.S. Open could get below par after 72 holes.

2006 OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW

It's time for the (British) Open Championship once again! I will be waking up at 2 AM for the first tee times, even though they won't be televised until 7 AM, just to get into it. I will be pretty jetlagged by the end of it on Sunday afternoon, but it will be worth it. Let's take a look at the setup at the 135th Open:

Royal Liverpool Golf Club, Hoylake, England
Total Par: 72
Total Yardage: 7258
Last Open at this course: 1967

Blimey! I don't know anything about this course, except that it's a typical links set up: no trees, large greens, weedy rough, a gallery filled with pasty drunken Englishmen, and pot bunkers. The recent heat wave in Europe has created conditions are dry and fast, so look for scores lower than recent stateside majors. Obviously, a shot maker has the best chance of winning this thing: someone who hits it low and long, has a great short game, and doesn't spray it. Driving accuracy is a plus, but since 10 holes feature some OOB areas, just staying away from the hazards is equally important. Tiger will be hitting a lot of 2 irons off the tee instead of the driver, so look for that to be a trend.

TEE TIMES - NOTABLES (first/second rounds, EDT):
2:36/7:47 - Sergio Garcia/Paul Casey/Fred Couples. Freddy surged at the Masters, and England's hometown boy Casey is a sleeper. Let's see if Los Pantalones Feos actually puts it together this time. I say "naaaah".
3:58/9:09 - John Daly/Colin Montgomerie/Stuart Appleby. Two big hitters and the beloved (well, at least in Europe) Monty, who gave away the U.S. Open just as much as FIGJAM did.
4:20/9:31 - Phil Mickelson/Darren Clarke/Yasuharu Imano. I like Clarke as much as I'm creeped out by Phillis.
9:09/3:58 - Tiger Woods/Shingo Katayama/Nick Faldo. Probably the most uncomfortable matchup, since Faldo has ripped Tiger's swing in the past as a commentator. Can we get these guys miked up? I'd even buy XM Radio to hear that. Actually, this might be the only time Faldo will be quiet. Anyway, Faldo's quotes afterwards should be amusing.

Funniest name of the tournament: Thaworn Wiratchant, who just beat out Adam Bland and Ben Bunny.
Fashion statement: Ben Crane usually wears a logo of a local NFL team while playing in the U.S., so can he wear Premier League teams over there? My guess is
Liverpool for round 1, and maybe Arsenal for round 2.
Shocking players to miss cut: Davis Love III and Henrik Stenson.

Right! So who's going to win the whole bloody thing? Here are the latest odds (as of Wednesday at noon EDT, from bodog.com, since betonsports.com is shut down because its CEO was just arrested--whoops!):

Tiger Woods: 7/2
Phil Mickelson: 9/1
Ernie Els: 14/1
Vijay Singh: 14/1
Padraig Harrington: 15/1
Retief Goosen: 20/1
Luke Donald: 22/1
Darren Clarke: 28/1
Colin Montgomerie: 28/1
Jim Furyk: 30/1
David Howell: 31/1
Sergio Garcia: 34/1
Thomas Bjorn: 40/1
Geoff Ogilvy: 40/1
Stuart Appleby: 42/1
Henrik Stenson: 65/1
Davis Love III: 74/1
Mike Weir: 80/1
John Daly: 130/1
Ian Poulter: 62/1
Fred Couples: 120/1
Mark Hensby: 220/1 (Not a good show, Hensby!)
Nick Faldo: 400/1
Nick Faldo saying something cheeky about Tiger: 3/2

Tiger says he's "come to terms" with his father's death, which sounds more like he's convincing himself of that fact; in light of that, I think he'll be close, but won't win it. Monty says his craptacular final hole at the US Open "didn't affect him at all." (Uh huh.) And FIGJAM says he can't focus on "One Bad Hole", which sounds like a PPV adult movie. I'm not picking any of them to win. I'm also sick of backing Ernie and Goose, because they don't seem to have it right now, though the latter has a better chance.

DARK HORSES: I can't NOT root for David "Double D's" Duval, who has been playing well as of late. Also, I like Ian "Silly Pants" Poulter, and Jim "Hitch" Furyk, who have been playing solid golf.

MY PICK: I'm going with Padraig Harrington, who will drink Guinness out of the Claret jug on Sunday!

TV TIMES
Thursday, July 20: First-round coverage * 6:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. ET * TNT
Friday, July 21: Second-round coverage * 7 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. ET * TNT
Saturday, July 22: Third-round coverage * 7 a.m. - 9 a.m. ET * TNT
9 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. ET * ABC
Sunday, July 23: Final-round coverage * 6 a.m. - 8 a.m. ET * TNT
8 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. ET * ABC

(BTW, last weekend's celebrity tournament from Lake Tahoe was in HD, but this major will not be! WTF?)

UPDATE: Apparently, the BBC Sport website will be streaming action from the Open. That remains to be seen.

CHIPOTLE'S BURRITO OF DEATH

The new hip burrito/taco slinging chain restaurant Chipotle uses the phrases "finest ingredients" and "prepared fresh", on their irritating flash-heavy website. Funny, they don't mention anything about "healthy". Good thing, because according to the Chipotle nutrition calculator, one flour tortilla chicken burrito with cheese, rice, black beans, sour cream, guacamole, corn, lettuce, tomatoes and salsa has 1492 calories, 64g total fat (21g saturated fat), and 4619 mg of sodium. Holy guacamole!!! That's ridiculous. But you're getting 156% of your recommended daily allowance of Vitamin A, so that's great.

Here's the punch line: they're 65% owned by McDonald's. So they're a chip off the ol' crap factory.

NHL NOTES

With temperatures in the high 90s, let's cool off on the ice! Wow, that was a cheesy opening.

Jeremy Roenick almost retired because he couldn't get his skates sharpened to his liking in L.A. No, I'm not kidding. What a moron.

Neil Smith was the GM for the Islanders for about a weekend before being fired this week. What a disaster that team is.

Oh well, I used to root for Peca, but now I won't. Hey, but we've got a new reason to root against the Stars: #88!

Oh, and the NHL has introduced NHL Connect, which is like MySpace for hockey fans. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

And like the MLB has the "walk-off homer", the NHL wants the media to call an OT winner a "skate-off goal". Ugh.

TOMORROW: THE OPEN PREVIEW!

BEST SUMMER BREW™ REVIEW: LA BECASSE FRAMBOISE

I'm not going to waste your time with an image of this beer, and I'm not going to waste [much] time with this review.

La Becasse (the Woodcock) (AKA: Belle-Vue Framboise in the USA) is a Raspberry Lambic from Belgium and it is now an InBev production. After tasting La Choulette Framboise, I decided to taste some other raspberry-flavored beers, because I was quite happy with La Choulette. La Becasse can be had in the supermarket for about the equivalent of $3.50 for a 6-pack. It would be easier and more economical if I could buy this and be as happy with the brew as with La Choulette. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

Holy sweetness, Batman. La Becasse Framboise is too sweet. I can't tell you about the flavor, I can't tell you about the aftertaste, I can't tell you about the mouthfeel. It's liquid sugar, and that's not what I want for the summer. I shared a couple of bottles of these with Julie at the beach and we could [barely] finish them.

Sorry, InBev, but "The Woodcock" doesn't fly here.

1 star 'cause I didn't throw up (in my mouth or otherwise). (It does manage a 43rd percentile on Ratebeer.com)

FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEOS: SYD BARRETT EDITION

Pink Floyd co-founder Syd Barrett died on Tuesday at the age of 60 (honestly, I'm surprised he lived that long). Here's a video of him and the group performing "Astronomy Domine" live in 1967, before Roger Waters stepped to the forefront, and waaaaaaay before they became a bloated David Gilmour cash cow.



Now that was a groovy time capsule! Also, enjoy his hair in this performance of Jugband Blues (1968), and try to sit through this video of his first acid trip (1965), if you dare.

DRINK IRRESPONSIBLY

Silver-haired Silver Bullet pitchman Pete Coors admitted he was arrested and charged with DUI back in May. He was pulled over in Golden, Colorado after blowing through a stop sign in his Jaguar and blew a 0.088 (0.08 is the limit). I guarantee he wasn't drinking Coors all night, that liquid crap he's constantly telling you to "drink responsibly". Oh, the irony.

IT CAME FROM THE 80s!

It's a thankfully quiet, baseball and soccer free Wednesday, so I thought I'd point out a disturbing trend: the resurrection of 80s bands! Let's take a look at who has decided to cash in on nostalgia this year!

$ The Psychedelic Furs are at it again, and are culminating their tour with a show at the Hollywood Bowl with ABC and the Human League. Let the hair spray fly!

$ The Go-Go's have also apparently run out of money and, recalling that they once had the beat, will be rocking a soccermom-packed venue near you.

$ Bauhaus seems to enjoy getting paychecks as well, and is opening for Nine Inch Nails (which is funny, as Trent's band opened for Peter Murphy's solo tour back in 1991).

$ He's really calling his shows "An Evening With Billy Idol"? Who does he think he is, Tony Bennett?

$ Gary Numan, whose only US hit was 1979's "Cars", is riding the success of the Pixar movie "Cars" (probably not, but it sounds good) and touring in support of a new album. Funniest statement about him: "Gary Numan is a patron of the Caring for Cats charity". That's slightly funnier than learning he married a member of his fan club. So without music, he'd be just another creepy loner.

$ Scritti Politti and The Alarm each have a new albums out, although I have no idea why. They must have basement studios or something.

$ From the 70s file: Chicago, Aerosmith and Motley Crue steadfastly refuse to go away, and Journey is currently touring with their THIRD singer. THIRD!!!

$ In closing, I'll simply say: Huey Lewis & the News are touring. I just got douche chills.

Blargh.

THAT'S GALL, FOLKS!

I guess I'm not the only one who realizes that the Wayans brothers are ripping off the Warner Brothers, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. The plot for their latest piece of shit movie, Little Man, involves a diminutive thief who poses as a baby to get back a diamond he stole. This is the exact same plot as the classic Looney Tunes cartoon "Baby Buggy Bunny" (1954), wherein a tiny bank robber ("Ant Hill" Harry, alias "Baby Face" Finster), poses as a baby to get his stolen money back from Bugs Bunny. It's the same exact story, folks! Except of course, they took the 7 minutes of hilarity and (most likely) expanded it into 90 minutes of stupidity, while removing Bugs Bunny.

But wait. It gets worse.

They even ripped off the shot of a tattooed "baby" smoking a cigar while shaving the underside of his chin with an electric shaver, as viewed through the bathroom door's keyhole. And it's featured prominently in the trailer! Are they kidding? Did they think that no one would remember the cartoon?

And the Wayans even claim to have written the movie. Assholes.

That's gall, folks!

BEST SUMMER BREW™ REVIEW: AKERBELTZ (BASQUE FOR BEER)

I don't think I've ever tasted Basque beer before. It is prohibitively expensive (gotta fund ETA, I guess) and there are not too many varities to chose from. Since we decided to do some summer beer tasting, I figured, Basqueland - it borders France and Spain, two of the hotter European countries, why not give it a go. My local Carrefour had Akerbeltz in 3x33 cl packs or 1 pint bottles. I opted for the pint bottle to see how it was.

Now my Basque-language skills are zero-to-none, but looking at the bottle, I think that Akerbeltz may mean "Goat." I can tell you very little about the beer, while in theory it is written in French and Basque, it means nothing to me. The Basques don't follow any "normal" word formation rules. Just to show you I am going to write the English translation of the French address and then the Basque address that [I guess] corresponds:


Akerbeltz Basque Beer
Brewery at Licq Atherey
Soule Province
Basqueland F-64560
Open to the public

and now in Basque:
Euskal Herriko Garadardoa
AKERBELTZ Garagardotegi
XIBEROA
F 64560 Ligi Atherei
Deneri Idejia

See how easy the Basque language is? Anyway, long story short, I have no idea anything about this beer, other than the fact that it is an amber beer with an ABV of 5.5% made in "Ligi Atherei."

The beer is surprisingly good. I didn't know what to expect, but it comes across as almost a pale ale, in terms of bite and crispness. Imagine a PA with a sweet aftertaste and you have Akerbeltz. It pours well, with a nice amber color and a fine off-white head (which unfortunately does not last long before fading away to nothing). The smell is sweeter than the beer is; which is good. Sweet beers aren't good for summer IMHO and that's what we are here for: SUMMER BEERS. Therefore, the first sip is a bit of a [pleasant] surprise in that you think you are in for a much sweeter taste than you actually get.

The aftertaste is sweet at first that gives way to a kind of empty mouthfeel (I sure hope I am using this word correctly!). It does, it gives way to a kind of sweet nothingness.

Overall, the beer is very good. I find very few Pale Ales/IPA in the South of France, so I am happy when I can get my hands on anything that resembles these epitomic summer brews.

Interesting: As the beer warms (yeah, I'm writing this as I'm drinking my pint) the bite is giving way to a much sweeter taste. Definitely a beer that needs to be drank (or is it drunk? damn my high school English teacher would kill me) cold and fast!

After all this, I am really liking this beer. However, the cost is going to make it lose a couple of thumbs, 'cause the fact of the matter is, a summer beer is generally to be consumed en masse and therefore price is important. Therefore, taking the the supermarket price of €3.50 for a pint in to account I whole-heartedly give this beer a 7 thumbs up. If you can find it in the states, TRY IT!

BEST SUMMER BREW™ REVIEW: GOOSE ISLAND SUMMERTIME

In my possibly neverending search for the Best Summer Brew™, I realize that the New York area may not be big enough, and I will eventually have to expand my drink radius. So I proactively booked a flight to Chicago during the July 4th weekend just for this reason (well, that and to visit a friend out there for the first time in a decade), and I quickly discovered the Goose Island Beer Company's summertime creation called, well, Goose Island Summertime. The side of the tap informed me that this was a German Kölsch style beer, and I don't know what that means but anything with an umlaut must be respected, at the very least.

Poured into a frosted pint glass, this brew was a cloudy, golden colored concoction with a short-lived head. The first few cold sips were quite enjoyable, and eventually I was able to taste some light spice notes and lemon flavors. This one finished with a crisp, refreshing bite, unlike some other beers of its ilk that I've sampled. Pleasant drinking, not sweet, and no aftertaste.

Honestly, the situation surrounding my tasting of this brew helped to enhance my enjoyment; it was a hot day, and the Northside Tavern in the Wicker Park neighborhood of Chicago was not only offering this brew at an unbeatable $3.50 a pint, but they were also showing the city's two baseball teams in widescreen HD pummel each other senseless, en route to a 15-11 Cubs win). On top of that, the pulchritudinous female waitstaff rivaled that of Bourbon Street in Nyack, I daresay.

In closing, this was easy to drink, and hard to stop at just one. I give this a 6.


P.S. I also had a bottle of Goose Island Honkers Ale at O'Hare Airport on my way home, but because it was $7 at some abortion of a restaurant called "Chili's Too", it was less than satisfying and will not be rated here.

CHICAGO AT NIGHT/MACHOMER

What a beautiful night. Having a great time-not looking forward to coming back home...

I took this picture from the Navy Pier in Chicago looking west, right after enjoying MacHomer at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. The show features one man doing all the characters from MacBeth using over 50 voices from "The Simpsons". It was simply amazing, and I can't even imagine how much rehearsal must have gone into it. The biggest shock is that the guy did Marge's voice better than any of them.

Patriot Hills, July 1st 2006

Nice eh?

OK, I played a 4 man scramble and one of my team mates was a great golfer