SNOW JOKE

I was going on my daily "wog" the other night, and goddammit it's been cold lately. Ever since that dumb Western Pennsylvanian rat didn't see his shadow and declared we'd have an early spring, it THE TEMPERATURE HASN'T BEEN ABOVE FREEZING. We might as well be on the ice planet Hoth, for cripes sake.

As I was walking and the frigid winter breeze was cutting through my skull like an icy dagger, I was wondering what the warmest hat would be: 1) an animal fur hat (preferably not rat), 2) a fleece ski cap, 3) one of those postal worker hats with the ear flaps. I don't know, but I'm going to have to go with the ratless hat. I'm not a big fan myself, but what's the big deal about fur coats? If the animal dies of natural causes, or gets hit by a truck, is it then okay to use the fur? (By the way, if you buy a coat that contains "faux fur" there's a chance that it's made with dog hair, possibly from losing Puppy Bowl contestants. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

In my opinion, all this cold weather isn't worth it unless there's some snow, and it looks as if it might come soon (maybe for my birthday). The people of Oswego County, NY, right along the eastern shore of Lake Ontario, don't want to hear the four letter "s" word: some towns got OVER 100" this week. And an area of Russia got ORANGE snow last week. So just 6-12" of the white stuff is not that bad after all.