Monday, February 5, 2007


Overall, Big Game #41 was . . . pretty damn dull.

The first half was incredibly sloppy (5 lost fumbles and an interception, a missed Viniateri FG and a botched PAT), and although Chicago hung around they were outplayed and never felt like an offensive threat. It wasn't the worst game (Dallas beating Buffalo 52-17, and the Bucs blowing out the Raiders come to mind), but it certainly wasn't great.

Anyway, congrats, Indy! At least there's something to do in Chicago, so I don't feel so bad for them. And now we can stop talking about him now that the big game jinx has been lifted from Peyton 'Laser Rocket Arm' Manning. The monkey is off his back, but whose is it on now and who will get to spank it next? Personally, I feel just like I did when Elway finally won his first: complete apathy. Just a few notes:

I think I had more fun watching Puppy Bowl III on Animal Planet. Puppies playing for three straight hours? A ref throwing a flag for urinating on the field? An all-kitten halftime show? The BOWL CAM? It's hard to beat. I voted for Bomber for MVP (Most Valuable Puppy), and it looks like he finished 1st, getting 34% of the over 1.5 million votes counted (I shit you not).

Billy Joel finished the National Anthem in 1:37. According to the increasingly ridiculous "prop bets", the over/under was 1:44. I'm guessing Billy bet the under.

I missed the opening kickoff return for TD, walking into Bruxelles mere seconds after it happened. I have an uncanny knack for missing those things. Not only was that the first time the opening kickoff was returned, but the 1st quarter featured the most turnovers (4, with 3 fumbles). Jim Nantz later said that Muhsim Muhammad was the first player to catch TD passes for two different SB teams, which we thought was bullshit. We were right: Jerry Rice did it for San Francisco (Super Bowl XXIII, XXIV and XXIX) and Oakland (XXXVII). So there.

I'll save you time: ALL THE COMMERCIALS SUCKED. Okay, there was one funny Bud Light commercial (featuring a couple picking up a guy with an axe just because he had beer), the rest were pretty horrible. Seriously, who thinks Carlos Mencia is funny? Hopefully, this is the end of an era and we can stop focusing on the commercials. (Hey, a guy can dream.)

The halftime show might have been the least disappointing part of the night. Despite the fact that most people thought he was dead, Prince sounded good and was better than expected. He even worked in covers of "All Along the Watchtower" and "Best of You" by Foo Fighters (apparently, he likes their cover of "Darling Nikki").

Speaking of halftime shows, this complete list of SB performers is great. I don't remember "Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye", whatever the hell that is; I must have blocked out that nightmare. But through the magic of YouTube, you can re-live the ever-so-frightening "Diet Coke Be-Bop Bamboozled in 3-D" from SB XXIII announced by a 12 year old Bob Costas.

Team President Bill Polian thanked God for helping the Colts win, but oddly did not blame Him for those tornadoes that killed 20 people in central Florida earlier in the week. Funny, that.

It was nice of CBS to give David Spade tickets to the game in Miami, mere weeks before his latest crap show is canceled. But to achieve total network synergy, we were hoping they'd get David Caruso from CSI: Miami to do color commentary:

"Jim, what we have here is a fumble . . . but was it a giveaway . . . (puts on sunglasses) . . . or a TAKEaway?"


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