APROPOS OF NOTHING

I decided to post some random stuff today, just because I can.

• I don't pay attention to gossip nonsense. In fact, I can't fucking stand it and wish the gossip "industry" would go away. So anyway, I guess Howard Stern announced he was marrying Anna Nicole, but she died in a head shaving accident, or something?

• While driving around the picturesque "Loop" at Newark Liberty International Airport on Friday night waiting for Kris to arrive, I wondered why the FAA code for this lovely airport is EWR. Why not something starting with N? Then I read this article, and it explains it all, and more. (The first letter 'N' was nabbed by the Navy, so all cities with that letter had to get creative.)

• For some reason, two crappy coaches landed NFL jobs this month: Wade Phillips with Dallas (lifetime 48-39 as head coach, 0-3 in playoffs), and Norv Turner with San Diego (58-82-1, 1-1). After we just had two black coaches in the Super Bowl, was this just a knee-jerk reaction by GMs to hire more old, useless, lilly-white coaches? Because it couldn't be playoff success or a winning records that prompted these hirings.

• I used to shop at Stew Leonard's all the time when I lived in Danbury, CT. I went there the other day, and I couldn't believe how expensive most things were. And as always, most things you have to buy multiple units of just to get a discount. Was it always that much? Was I just lured there because of their singing milk cartons?

• XM and Sirius are talking about merging into one huge super satellite radio monolith. Of course, this means the Delphi radio I just bought in December (and the one I got for my sister) will be obsolete by the end of the year, or at least no longer as useful. Fantastic! Of course, any increases in programming choices will be offset by the fact that this will be a monopoly, and without competition they can charge whatever they want. What happened to anti-trust laws? Are they just a 20th century relic?

• Hudson House in Nyack, where we ate on Saturday, is fantastic. I can't recommend it enough. Plus, they treat us like we're regulars. I wish I could afford to go there more than once or twice a year.

• I've got news for the Democrats: middle America is not voting for a woman President, nor are they voting for a black man named "Barack Hussein Obama". (I've even been getting the mass forwarded emails that say "He's trying to hide the fact that he was raised a Muslim, let us all be alert"--cripes.) Everyone in the liberal cities and the media thinks these are fantastic candidates, that we're all enlightened, that we've come a long way in terms of racial and sexual prejudices--I call bullshit. These are novelty candidates, and quite possibly will divide the country even further, if that's possible. The Dems are going to blow this opportunity if they don't put an electable man out there. Edwards? Biden? Kucinich? Are you kidding? Never mind, they don't have one. Before long, the Republicans will start using that Grammy® Award winning song for 2008: This is ouuuuuuuuuuuur country! (BTW, I've lived in NY for 6 years and I still don't know one person who has voted for Senator Hillary.)

• I used to shop at Stew Leonard's all the time when I lived in Danbury, CT. I went there the other day, and I couldn't believe how expensive most things were. And as always, most things you have to buy multiple units of just to get a discount. Was it always that much? Was I just lured there because of their singing milk cartons?

• Phil "FIGJAM" Mickelson looked like he had Winged-Foot-In-Mouth disease once again. Charles Howell III put some pressure on him late in the fourth round of the Nissan Open and he disintegrated like a muffin in the rain, losing on the 3rd playoff hole. Howell now has 4096520987 FedEx Cup points, or something.

• Instead of trying to find a way to score goals against the Devils last night, the Rangers decided to send Avery out there to interfere with Brodeur, to bump him and antagonize him the whole night. Guess what? They still lost 2-1. Way to go, guys. My blognostication: The Rangers are DONE. (Oh, the Parise goal to win the game was beautiful.)

• Worst movie that I've seen lately: The Benchwarmers. Even though I only watched 15 minutes of it, what I saw was incredibly, painfully, AGRESSIVELY unfunny. Who thought a movie with the star talent of David Spade, Rob Schneider, Jon Lovitz, Reggie Jackson, and Craig Kilborn could be so stupid? This is the quintessential scene: the aformentioned Mr. October is hired to train them to play baseball, and to increase their speed he has them "ring doorbells and run away" (of course). The character played by Jon Heder (who will never top Napoleon Dynamite) is so stupid that he doesn't run away, and instead jumps into a bush. The homeowner comes out screaming his head off (which is what I automatically do, regardless of who is at the door), but doesn't realize the jokester is in the bushes . . . until he farts and gives himself away. This is comedy at its finest, people.

• Rocky Balboa on steroids? Yeah, that about sums up sports right now.