DON'T YOU HATE PANTS? THE ICE GIRLS EDITION

It was bound to happen. I'm just going to chalk this up to coincidence, because there's no way someone read the ever-popular Open Hockey blog and copied off of my idea. But no sooner did I post something about hockey cheerleaders did the unfortunately named Puck That Hit blog (I guess they were going for "Fuck That Shit" or something equally witty?) post "Who Has the Hottest Ice Girls?" which then got noticed by the mighty Deadspin NHL Closer.

Everyone seems to like the Florida Ice Whores Dancers, and while I agree that they look the strippiest and seem to hate their pants the most, I deduct points if they don't skate. I sense I might be alone in this assessment but if you're an ice girl, this means you have to lace up the skates and step out onto the ice. As Barr Flys' Captain Karl used to say, "Yeah, but can she skate?"

I immediately eliminated Dallas, Phoenix, Nashville, L.A., Anaheim and Tampa Bay from the running because they just seemed so fake. I like the Devils Power Players (since I've seen them in person), and was leaning towards Atlanta or Carolina, but in the end, I voted for the Chicago Ice Crew. Not only do they exude pure, unadulterated Midwestern hotness, but their name is even a double entendre: ICE CREW! Yeah, I bet you do, you little minx. (Get it?) I also voted for the groundbreaking Islanders Ice Girls squad, as they are very underrated, and simultaneously able to piss off Henrik Lundqvist and inspire Craig Anderson. However, they shouldn’t have signed Kelli to a 15 year deal, as she’ll be pushing 40 by the time the contract ends.

This got me to thinking: is this bad for the NHL? Well, under Bettman it couldn't get any worse, so we may as well have some eye candy along with our expensive tickets.