Thursday, March 13, 2008

OVER 10000 PEOPLE'S TIME WASTED

Congratulations to the 10,000th reader of the Open Hockey blog! It seems impossible, unfathomable to me that that many people have accidentally stumbled upon this blog. Thanks for checking us out. But most of all I'd like to thank myself, and the great OH blog team--we never gave up hope! And I wanna thank Jesus, and say hi to my special lady, Marge: we did it, baby! Whooooo hooooo! Anyway, sometime on Monday, Lucky Fan #10K turned over our counter to read 5 digits, and while I can't be sure who it was I'm going with the guy who searched for "is dana jacobson single" and found my "Dana swilling Belvedere vodka" tribute post. Yes, Dana is still single and refuses to call me. And no, random Googler, you don't have a chance in hell of getting her to date you because you don't have a fantastic blog like mine. So there.

Other random thoughts:

* I think we can stop putting those irritating "security" stickers on top of DVDs and CDs, since there are a bazillion torrents available on the internet of pretty much everything now. Those impossible to remove "thief proof" stickers along the top of the case are laughable, and with rampant the file sharing that goes on it's akin to putting a band-aid on a severed head.

* You know when you're walking towards someone else in a hallway, and you turn into a doorway or down another hallway before you pass them? What is the minimum "greeting radius", the distance from the person that requires you acknowledge them in some way? I say it's 30 feet, and if you're further away than that you don't have to say "hi", or "morning" or nod.

* During the hockey shootout, the players should take off their helmets. Why do they need to wear them? Of course I'm talking about the shooters, not the goalies; that would be silly. No, I think the goalies should remove their pants.

* While it was enjoyable to see Villanova blow the doors off of Syracuse by 19 points yesterday, today's loss to Georgetown by the same margin (and score, 82-63, during which they drained a ri-fucking-diculous 17 3-pointers) was frustrating. So it's now official: they aren't going to be in the NCAA tournament. Coming up next: are the Wildcats going to be overlooked for the NCAA tournament? Yes, they are. Or are they? Sportsline's Gary Parrish was paid to say "I have no fucking idea." Joe "Bracketology" Lunardi says they're one of the "Next Four Out", whatever that means. Jay Bilas of ESPN says the 'Cats are in, but Jay Bilas also likes vanilla and long walks on the beach. So fucking what? His opinion is just as valid as mine, and I say he's full of shit. When was the last time anyone from ESPN was right anyway? I'm going to go with back in the early 1980s when they decided to show Australian rules football.

* Now that "The Wire" is over, I was looking for another show to waste my time watching. There's good buzz surrounding AMC's "Breaking Bad", a show about a high school chemistry teacher who is told has terminal cancer decides to start his own meth lab. However, everything seems to be conspiring against my ability to watch this show. First, every show is available on my Cablevision OnDemand channel . . . EXCEPT THE FIRST TWO. And those first two aren't on the AMC site. Also, what the hell does "Breaking Bad" even mean? And how can you call your network "American Movie Classics" when you don't show classic American movies? Okay, now I've lost interest in watching the show. Maybe I'll look for "Mad Men" DVDs to rent, or something.

* If you were born after 1980 you probably prefer "Family Guy", and if you were born before 1980, you probably like "The Simpsons". If you are born after 1980, and you come up to me saying "Family Guy" is overall funnier than "The Simpsons", you're wrong. End of discussion. Now get off of my lawn! (Of course, some Stewie and Brian scenes are funny . . . no, I won't back down.)

* Coors Light has bar coasters featuring a bunch of green colored Coors bottle caps in the shape of a shamrock, with the slogan "Irish Enough". What the fuck does that mean? It's Irish enough for you, just drink it, stupid.

* GOLF magazine says in their Masters preview issue that if it comes down to a final round showdown between FIGJAM and Tiger, FIGJAM would win it. Tiger is playing as well as we've ever seen him, so what are they basing that on? Phil has "confidence". Yeah, right. I too can be pretty confident, but I ain't winning a match against the greatest golfer ever. What am I saying? I'm not even confident about posting this crap on the blog.

3 comments:

Kris said...

"Mad Men" was/is pretty good (S2 is supposed to be this summer). But not the wire, mind you (I wonder how Omar would've gone over for those racist sexist bastards...).

I was born in '78 and never got into Family Guy at all...The Simpsons pure-and-simple (although the end in nigh, to judge from the episodes this season).

Someone told me Weeds was good. I made it through about 15 minutes of it because deciding to never listen to that person again.

Sir Stalkingham said...

I was born in the glorious year of our Lord 1981, so I suppose that puts me on the cusp of preference. I don't think it's fair to judge the satiric masterpiece that is The Simpsons against Family Guy.. I've been watching the simpsons since day one, and they easily move between scathing social commentary and basic cartoon entertainment, however, I have yet to see an episode of FG I consider brilliant beyond reason, though many are undeniably entertaining.

I won't lie to you, I totally watch the reruns of both all the time, and I have both on DVD.

PS, It's rainy and disgusting today. I think you know what's going on over here. I almost choked when Michael called her "Plant" and then left her in Mexico.

Jeff K said...

So you guys just proved that my approximate OFF/FG cutoff of 1980 is pretty close. As always, I win.

Michael: What? Ann’s here?
George Michael: Yeah, I invited her. Y-you said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog.
Michael: Annhog’s coming?