NOTE TO THE ASSHOLE WHO STOLE MY TOMATOES

A few months ago, I planted three small plum tomato plants. I only got a few tomatoes here and there, which is what I expected. I took a picture of the plants on Wednesday afternoon to show their progress.



As you can see I had about 4 ripe tomatoes, and another 6 or 7 green ones on the way. I was looking forward to picking them and throwing them into a salad, or maybe eating them with some fresh basil and mozzarella cheese. However, this is what I found on Saturday morning:



All of the tomatoes are gone. Some asshole stole my tomatoes.

My apartment faces the back of the house and no one ever goes back there except those who live in this house, the neighbors (who are all families with small children), the occasional UPS man, and the lawn service people. Since the lawn was mowed on Friday, this leads me to the conclusion that one of the workers probably took them.

This doesn't rank up there with my golf clubs being stolen out of my car 5 years ago right before Xmas (the one time I left it parked out front and not in the garage), but it pisses me off nonetheless.

To the (probably illegal immigrant) lawn worker who took my tomatoes, I hope you die in a fire. Or at the very least, may you get crippling diarrhea from the tomatoes.