Tuesday, September 9, 2008

THE HORRIBLENESS OF TIME MAGAZINE

Generally, I avoid blogging about things that bug me on a day-to-day basis...oh, wait...no I don't. Generally I blog about the things that bug me on a day-to-day basis.

Anyway, I was just flipping through last week's Time and came across this wonderful article: Wanted: The Perfect Song. What tune captures the summer of 2008?. Now beyond the obvious fact that some dickhead named Josh Tyrangiel of Time Magazine has a different definition of "perfect" than me (his being "wrong"), he lists what may be the 10 worse songs ever made. Would you believe me if I said I hate every one? You'd better.

For the record, I went on the youtubes and watched at least a few seconds of every video. That's martyrdom right there...

10. I Kissed a Girl: Katy Perry (ooohh! Lesbianism is popular, let's try that)
9. Viva la fucking idiotic Vida: Coldplay
8. When I Grow Up: Pussycat Dolls
7. A Milli: Lil Wayne (an exceptionally bad song even by corporate rap standards)
6. Bleeding Love: Leona Lewis
5. No Matter What: T.I.
4. American Boy: Estelle (I hate this song the least)
3. Love in the Club: Usher (as Jeff pointed out, there are versions of this song that rock out...)
2. Disturbia: Rihanna
1. All Summer Long: Kid Rock. Kid Rock didn't just rip off (don't give me that 'sampling's done all the time' shit) one of America's great singer-songwriters in Warren Zevon, he also usurped the reigning Red State Anthem in "Sweet Home Alabama". I hope Zevon and Ronnie van Zant are waiting in Hell with sharped spears for Kid Rock's arrival.

Here's the original version of "Werewolves of London"



Fuck Kid Rock. and fuck Time magazine.

3 comments:

Jeff K said...

You know, I've had those songs on the blog for weeks (not that anyone looks at that Project Playlist thing), both the originals and the Kid Rock song--and that song isn't even close to being the worst thing he's ever done. To be fair, Warren Zevon "borrowed" that tune (1978) from Lynyrd Skynyrd (who released "Sweet Home Alabama" in 1974) long before Kid Rock mashed the two together.

Yes, that Coldplay song is insufferable, the whole idea behind the Pussycat Dolls deplorable, and that Li'l Wayne "product" pretty fucking horrible.

My vote for best summer song: "Gamma Ray" by Beck. Or anything from the new Girl Talk album "Feed The Animals", which for some reason I really like, mainly for the ridiculous amount of samples DJ Gregg Gillis uses in each mashed up song.

Kris said...

You put Kid Rock on Project Playlist? I've obviously greatly misjudged you...I believe this is the point where we sever all contact.

Anyway, enough melodrama. Warren Zevon is to be judged differently than "Kid". He borrowed the "feeling" of Sweet Home Alabama. Kid Rock just "sampled" both songs and then uses the hook from "Sweet Home Alabama." Kid Rock has consistently proven that he is incapable of making music and writing songs. I will agree with you on one point: "All Summer Long" is not the worst thing he's ever done.

The good news is that Kid Rock convinced me to dig out a Zevon CD (remember compact discs?) that I had collecting dust somewhere. Johnny is striking up the band as we speak.

Jeff K said...

I put that song on there along with Warren Zevon and Skynyrd to illustrate how Zevon "borrowed" from them. Goddamn (dead) thief! The Kid Rock song was included just for reference, I'm not saying I celebrate the man's entire catalog.

The funniest thing I discovered today is that Amazon MP3 lists the song as their #2 download for today. However, it's not by Bob "Kid Rock" Ritchie, but a "Kid Rock tribute" called Rock Heroes. Who the fuck is buying songs by a Kid Rock tribute band? Bizarre.