What can you say? The Penguins did it, and in dramatic fashion: they forced a Game 7 and won it on the road (first team since the 1971 Canadiens to do that) to claim the Cup. The final was a hard fought, close match-up, with no little controversy or nonsense, and the clinching game was a one goal thriller. That's all you can ask for as a hockey fan.
As for Sidney Crosby, I am genuinely happy for him, and you can count me as one of the hockey fans who will always root for him. He showed great leadership in this postseason, and let's not forget, he's only 21. Good lord. What the hell was I doing in my 21st summer? Taking a crappy ecology course at Rutgers so I could graduate college on time, and hoisting a lot of pints of Guinness. Meanwhile, this Kid is hoisting the ultimate hardware above his head.
In the end, this team didn't even need him (due to an injury in the 2nd, he only skated one shift in the 3rd), as the defense was rock solid, Mad Max Talbot scored two opportunistic goals and Flower didn't wilt under the pressure, even tallying a nice save against Lidstrom in the final second.
Evgeni Malkin earned the Conn Smythe by doing everything you could ask for in the playoffs (14 G, 22 A, 36 points in 24 games). Wait a second, who is his little Russian friend there with the polka-dotted bra? And honestly, who wears a Winnipeg Jets sweater to a Detroit game?
But hockey is, and always will be, a true team sport. In the end, this Penguins squad overcame 2-0 and 3-2 deficits to win it all without Sid or Geno scoring a goal in the last 3 games. That says a lot right there.
The look on his face as the Penguins celebrate a goal is priceless. You can almost hear him saying, like GOB on Arrested Development, "I've made a huge mistake." Obviously, the Stanley Cup favorite next year is whomever he's playing against.
Additionally, not even NBCFUCKINGSPORTS could foul this up, and even let a few f-bombs drop onto their live broadcast during the celebration (yeah, I think they should know by now to keep the boom mikes at a safe distance). Honorable mention goes to my DVR, which allowed me to completely breeze by their intermission shows.
And in spite of the fact that the NHL runs the sport, we saw some great hockey this year. In closing, you have to love this Pens fan's sign: "HOSSA, THE ONLY CUP YOU'LL TOUCH IS ZETTERBERG'S".
Yeah, I realize that I haven't been contributing to this blog much lately, and it's for a variety of reasons. First, I find that I have nothing to say. Second, while I waste a lot of time I rarely waste it on trying to find something to blog (that award would go to NHL 09 on the PS3). Thirdly, since hockey is in the title of this blog, I feel I have to address the Devils' disastrous demise in Game 7 a few weeks ago.
I even said with about 4 minutes left that I felt really uncomfortable about the tenuous 3-2 lead the Devils were holding on to for nearly the length of an entire period. Sure, I say that at the end of most Devils games (as Rob can attest) and they more often than not prevail, but this current iteration of the Devils' defense was possibly the weakest Marty's had in front of him in quite some time. As it turned out, OT DID flash in front of my eyes . . . but I never would have predicted the unfathomable last minute collapse that ended their season. In the end, Marty had no one to blame but Marty. Epic fucking fail, indeed.
Of course, the shitdick Rangers fans cheering at the other end of the bar certainly didn't help. After hearing cheering upon the game tying Jokinen goal, I basically shouted across the room, "Hey, I was actually rooting for your Rangers to win!" This way, the two teams might play each other in the Eastern finals! Because more local teams in the playoffs = more gooder. You couldn't really blame them for their glee, after they witnessed Henrik and the Blueshirts' lackluster season snuffed out a mere half hour earlier in their own shitty Game 7, after having a 3 games to 1 lead on the Komrades. But really, suck it and suck it hard, jackass haters.
As for the actual living, breathing NHL playoff teams, we're down to the FINAL FOUR. Yeah, it looks like we might get Wings vs. Pens again, but I'm secretly rooting for the Chicago Blackhawks (I guess it's no longer a secret). If they somehow figure out how to beat the Wings, I hope they take the Cup for the first time since 1961, leaving only the Cubs as the only remaining fantastic failure in all of Chicago sports.
Other thoughts:
* MAKLIN's first playoff hat trick was something to see. Like OVIE! he seems to have the ability to WILL the puck into the goal at times. But the sick impossible angle backhand (@ 1:25) that launched a thousand hats in the Pens' 7-4 Game 2 win was a thing of beauty:
Of course, shortly thereafter they cut to Malkin's parents celebrating in the stands--good god no, we don't need to see them up on KISS CAM in the Igloo! But OMG MALKIN looks JUST like his mom! So is he showing off for his mommy and daddy? Possibly. If so, I think the Penguins have to give them a Golden Ticket that allows them to attend any Penguins game at home or on the road.
* Why doesn't NBC Sports want to cover the Sidsburgh/Caniac series? It's easy to say it's because they suck a bag of dicks (so much so that perennial NFL windbag John Madden decided to retire). But I think there's another reason: they're so cheap that they don't want to move all of their equipment to Carolina just for one (or two, if necessary) weeken games. Instead, they can focus all of their sucking along the 285 miles of highway between Chicago and Detroit.
(Also, I think Doc Emrick hates going to Carolina. I don't know if this is true, but he made a comment during the pitiful Marty-enraging Game 4 loss about the fans notorious loudness being possibly alcohol-fueled. During the postgame show he was uncharacteristically somber, looking like he wanted to smack any random redneck Canes fan that crossed his path. Just sayin'.)
* I'll just say one thing about the whole SID vs. OVIE! debate: I'd kill to have either one on my team, but Sid has really stepped up and quieted the naysayers. Of course, I'm not among them; I've always liked The Kid, but he's proven this postseason to be The Man. The only negative thing I'll say about OVIE! (that you don't find with Sid) is that when he's not scoring, he gets frustrated and runs guys from behind and/or long after the puck is gone, but he gets away with a lot because he's so talented. But really, if you're starting a team and take one of them, I'll take whichever one is left. They're both incredible hockey players.
* Regarding Kronwall's ugly looking hit against Havlat in the Hawks Game 3 win last night: it was completely clean. Unfortunately, Havlat got caught with his head down trying to corral the puck. Let's put it this way: it's nothing worse than Scott Stevens has done in the playoffs Still, somehow Kronwall got a game misconduct and 5 minute major for . . . interference? How is it interference if a guy with the puck is cleanly checked? That's the weakest chickenshit call I've seen yet in the playoffs. If it's 4 minutes for roughing I'm okay with that, but that was pathetic because it doesn't even look like a penalty to me.
_________________________________________________
* Though I don't actively root against any teams (okay, except maybe the ones located in Philly), I have to admit I was giddy when the Bruins were handed their golf bags by the Hurricanesin OT in Game 7 (and his precious Celtics followed suit shortly thereafter). I'll say it again: Boston sports fans root for two things: the Red Sawks, and any other local team who happens to be winning at the time. No one else sums up this town's fairweather fandom like ESPN überdouche Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons. He twatted that he was pissed that he had to pay $75 for NHL Center Ice just to watch the Bruins play in Game 7 from his SoCal mansion. You might recall that he's the guy who wrote that the NHL was DEAD TO HIM during the rough patch while the Bruins were missing the playoffs. He even devoted a whole snarky column making fun of the NHL during their 2007 draft, and signed off with the following declaration:
As for the rest of the NHL, I'll see you in 12 months for the 2008 draft. And not a second before.
Well, guess what? He was back last April (less than 10 months later!) because the Bruins were back in the playoffs, and now he's got the stones to complain about paying to see the Bruins lose Game 7. What a lying, douchetastic Masshole bandwagon fan. And the foul fandom that calls itself "Red Sox Nation" (ugh) deserves nothing less than this twunt as their self-nominated president. I hope this latest turn of events turns him off the NHL, because we don't need him watching or commenting on hockey. _________________________________________________
So I don't know if anyone is watching but it's been a fantastic Cup playoffs so far. And while I'm jinxing teams, allow me to say . . . LET'S GO HAWKS!
It all started with Marty going down with an injury for the first time in a billion career games. Then, GABBO's groin kept him out for all but 2 games since the start of the season. Then as soon as my trade for MAF goes through, he goes down with a "lower body injury". (Could you be more specific? Hangnail? Water-on-the-knee? Sprained scrotum? What?) To put the icing on the puck, Brenden "The Sun Won't Come Out To" Morrow (my leading PIMmer) tore his ACL asunder, and is done for the season.
The reports are in, and it's confirmed: I am the KISS OF DEATH. Now I remember why I don't play fantasy sports. Sure, I might be in second place due to a lucky 5-4-1 win by Kris, but that's also because half the managers in the league don't pay attention to their teams.
* In one of the most hilariously pathetic moments I've ever seen in a hockey game, the Canadiens' Ryan O'Byrne scored a game-tying "own goal" when he passed the puck back towards where JESUS PRICE used to be . . . not realizing he already left the goal for an extra skater on a delayed penalty.
Wow, that was a perfect backhand into the centre [sic] of the net! I couldn't do it better myself. (Honestly, I've tried.) Naturally, the Icelanders would end up winning in the shootout, causing the Bell Centre faithful to derisively chant his name from the rafters as he dejectedly exited the arena, embarrassed by his huge hockey boner. (Yeah, I'm trying to bring that word back into the lexicon to mean "gaffe" or "mistake".)
* In other news, JESUS PRICE IS HURT! Hurt that I didn't choose him on my NHL 2009 All-Star Ballot! I chose Timmy Thomas, who overall has better numbers and had to be written in. Apparently, crazy Montreal fans (redundant, I know) have stuffed the ballot box to put 5 of the 6 nominated Habs in the voting lead, despite the fact that none of their skaters are in the top 48 in scoring, Price isn't in the top 10 in GAA, and the team is below the Devils in goals scored. Not to be out-homered, I chose Elias and Parise from the Devils, and more overlooked yet deserving players like Devin Setoguchi, Marc Savard and Shea Weber, and not a single damn dirty Canadien. (They're allegedly hiding the votes over the last 2 days, so your votes don't really count as much as you thought they did.)
* Rob might be right: this current Rangers team plays an incredibly boring brand of hockey. They may not be up there with the 1995 Devils (who I actually enjoyed watching, because they won it all--ha) or the 2007 Red Wings, but they really have no exciting players and very little spark.
* Programming note: It's happened several times this season where there were three hockey games on local TV in the New York area on Saturday night, and they were all on SIMULTANEOUSLY. In fact, the Rangers and Isles each had their OT and shootouts going on at the same time, so it was impossible to follow. Hey NHL, if you want me to watch, STAGGER THE GAMES A LITTLE. Spread out the start times 15 minutes or so, that's all I ask. Last night was perfect: Rangers at 7, Islanders at 7:30 PM. One game was going on while the other was in intermission, and they didn't end simultaneously. (MSG probably does it so they can use the same postgame show and not pay those guys to work extra time, because those Cablevision-owning douchebags are notoriously cheap, but it seriously stinks.)
* GOAL OF THE WEEK. Yeah, it's a kid you might have heard of. Sidney Crosby, vs. Atlanta on 11/20/2008.
* NEW JERSEYS: The verdict is in and I think the new Tampa and Ottawa 3rd jerseys, with BOLTS and SENS written across the chest, are awful. They look like they're from the AHL or a beer league. If the point is to make more money, how many of those BOLTS jerseys are going to sell in South Florida? The Coyotes' new 3rds are slightly more appealing, but only because it reminds me of the Johnny Cash-voiced space coyote in "The Simpsons".
* There have been a lot of ugly hits so far in the league and so little done about them, and I've gotten to the point that I don't want to talk about them anymore. How about we take away the hard, fiberglass shoulder pads and replace them with old school foam ones? I guarantee you won't have anyone slamming guys face first into the boards from behind any more.
* Malcolm Gladwell, author of the interesting, thought-provoking (though somewhat flimsy) books The Tipping Point and Blink, has a new book out called Outliers, that begins with a study about Canadian junior hockey players, to try to illustrate how certain young boys get a headstart in their hockey careers due to both their talent and their surroundings. But the fact that I found most interesting is that it turns out that most hockey players were born in January. In other words, if your kid isn't born in the winter, don't bother buying him skates.
* TOTALLY UNRELATED MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK. Kris passed along the video for Kathleen Edwards' "Hockey Skates" so I thought I'd post it. Yeah, she's Canadian, in case there was any speculation.
"I'm tired of playing defense and I don't even have hockey skates." This reminds me of Sarah McLachlan, a not-unpleasant song that you forget immediately after it's over. It's the aural equivalent of drinking Molson Ice.
In closing, even though I complain a lot about the NHL, I'm thankful for the sport of hockey. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! (Except the Canadians, who already had theirs.)
Since I don't have any real hockey comments today, here's a picture of Sidney "Hockey Jesus" Crosby in a rather interesting pose.
(Photo by Dave Sandford/Getty Images)
If I tried to do that while playing hockey, my groin would completely detach from my body. YEEEEEOUCH! Expect a sweep of the lifeless Senators tonight.
One other note: Greg Wyshynski, formerly of the Deadspin NHL Closer, is over at the Exclamation Point now as part of the elite circle known as Yahoo! NHL Experts blog. Good to see a Jersey boy doing well. If you can, steer your browser in the proper direction (after taking the jughandle) and check out his fine work. (Mr. W is not affiliated with Yahoo! Answers.)
It's headlines like this that make me hate all sports reporters: Crosby helps Penguins win first division title in 10 years. Despite the fact that he was hurt for almost 30 games, he carried this team! Oh, and there's this guy named Malkin (did I spell that right?) who has played every game, and might have scored a few goals (like, 40-something) here or there too. But none as handsome and photogenic as this goal:
OH, SID! I could never stay mad at you. What would be better than a first round Pens/Kaps matchup? A second round matchup! (See what I did there?)
Yeah, that was a Devils goal by Zubrus that "replay" missed and Thomas nicely blocked from view. Imagine if someone doesn't make the playoffs because Boston got that charity point . . . ?
Devils PxP man Mike "Doc" Emrick said something in passing last night about the "silly" names that the divisions used to have, like "Patrick Division", and how names like "Atlantic Division" make much more sense. Has he ever heard of "tradition"? Has he been brainwashed by Bettman? This is about the only thing I've found so far that I don't like about Doc (that and his career with the Flyers). Hey, how about you just call the game and leave your silly opinions to someone else? I care more about what Chico thinks about the quality of the nachos at The Rock. (HE LIKES IT! HEY MIKEY!)
Devils playoff tickets are on sale! I repeat, Devils playoff tickets are on sale! Yes, I got two emails this week. Most other teams don't have to send multiple notices like this, as they usually sell out before the email gets to my inbox. Hockey in downtown Newark remains a tough sell, however. They want you to ROCK YOUR RED, "joining the legion" by wearing red to the playoffs. Sounds like a dirty Communist plot to me.
As we all know, the Senators once had a 7 point lead in the Wales Conference, and now they're in danger of missing the playoffs. They couldn't blow it, could they? COULD THEY?
The Habs will beat the Swordswallowers tonight to put an end to that dream. And who keeps voting for Sabretooth? I had no idea you were such huge fags fans. You know that attack on the Devil was photoshopped, right? The source photo (at left) shows him gayly jumping around on the lawn in front of some McMansion, probably rented out for some brat kid's 10 year old birthday party. No swords, no killing (unfortunately). Anyway, don't worry, after tonight you'll be free to frolic, Toothy. (Wow, that's an autographed photo. That must be worth . . . nothing.)
Everyone seems to be slagging Nashville, because they're in the way of Vancouver (Godforbid, a team from Canada!) making the playoffs and losing in the first round. I am all for them making it, because not only do they have players with silly names like Legwand, Bonk and Tootoo, they have Vernon Fiddler. I picture him barefoot with a big hillbilly beard and overalls, madly fiddling on the porch of an old shack while the locals dance and swig moonshine. Sort of like this:
If they don't make the postseason, he could always return to his violin gigs. HEY VERN!
Last but not least the Rangers are in with a win tonight at the Mausoleum, where they meet the Icelanders. It should be interesting/scrappy/chippy/bloody. One thing I know for sure: POTVIN SUCKS.
I decided to check out the NBC Sports' Crosby Cam and write down my thoughts about it, because it's a cold Sunday morning and because I can. Besides, you can't get enough of The Kid! Or can you? I'm about to find out.
It turns out that it's called "ISO-CAM" since Sid can't be on it all the time. ;(
There's also an Avery-Cam which I will not be clicking on, lest I catch him with a moderately priced hooker. I think David Letterman should sue, because this is very similar to the Late Night Monkey Cam. Oh that's right, that's now the "intellectual property" of NBC.
12:07. I tuned in a little early and caught Crosby getting dressed. THE HORROR! Interesting note: he wears a girdle. (Might be true.) 12:36. The game is underway, and the ISO-CAM is a second behind the TV. Also, there's no audio on the isolated player, just ambient noise. I was hoping to catch some interesting bench chatter, but I guess not. This will be annoying, I can probably only put up with a period of this. 12:38. That was quick: Rangers up 1-0. It turns out that when Crosby isn't on the ice, they switch to other players, thankfully. I didn't want to watch Sid blow his nose on the bench for 40 minutes. Malkin is up next, and it's fun to see the little things he does, such as setting up for an outlet pass, 12:42. LARAQUE-CAM! Just when I was starting to appreciate the little things hockey players do when they're not near the puck, I watched George skate in circles, hit one guy (Backman), look around for someone else to hit while never getting near the puck, and sit down after 35 sceonds. Aaaah, the life of a goon. 12:49. HOSSA SCORES! CROSBY WITH THE ASSIST! HE SAVES HOCKEY AGAIN! (It actually went off of Dupuis' skate and bounced right to Hossa.) No, that wasn't a great play by Crosby, despite the NBC call. Ugh. 12:51. Occasionally, the ISO-CAM freezes up, goes all pixelated, or just goes to a blue screen. Irritating. 12:53. During the PP, Crosby is looking down at his skate, and seems a little tentative. OMG I HOPE HE'S OKAY! 12:57. ISO-CAM catches Sid whining about an icing call for a full 2 minutes, pleading his case with the referees. Wow, the TV time outs are quite exciting. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 1:04. Wow, what a pass from Sid to Staal on the PP. He couldn't handle it. And Crosby draws yet another penalty, he's the best in the league at that (Avery is 2nd). 1:05. 30 seconds left on a 5-on-3, Crosby whacks it at the net right on the doorstep . . . and the cam freezes up so I never see it. Seconds later, Malkin scooooooores. 2-1 Sidsburgh. 1:10. End of 1st. Get ready for 20 minutes of ISO-CAM focused on the Zambonis and the Penguins blimp! I was hoping to get a pee-wee hockey game, but no luck.
Okay, I can't do this anymore. I'll take any bonus NHL coverage I can get, and while this is a cool idea it just seems like a work in progress. Or maybe this is the best NBC can do (they seem to suck at golf too). Still, it's better than Versus, and by "better" I mean "it exists". The so-called "official home of the NHL" doesn't seem willing to devote any extra time or energy to bring you bonus coverage. So you either get excessive, fawning coverage of a handful of star players, or barely any coverage at all.
You might not know Greg Wyskynski* but he writes the fantastic NHL Closer on Deadspin (and also for a new startup called AmericaOnline, which allows you to connect to the "information superhighway" via several local dialup numbers at speeds of up to 14.4Kbps on your internal/external fax-modem). I now find that I can't go a day without reading his humorous daily take on the NHL and the world around it, as his funny references and pictures pretty much sum up everything I wish this blog could be. We seem to have a lot in common, as he also hates Bettman and the shootout, and he's a Devils fan (and a Mets fan, Jebus help us both) originally from Monmouth County, New Jersey (we were probably neighbors!). Like me, he's also a little disturbed by the way the Devils been playing. So as I was lamenting the Devils' latest loss and their complete inability to beat the Rangers, I included the following sentence in an email:
"What are the odds the Devils miss the playoffs? They're only 3 points from the cut line, so I'd say 50/50 right now. Seriously, they are looking like the September 2007 Mets right now."
Not 5 minutes later did I read this on the freshly posted NHL Closer: The Rangers Are the No. 1 Cause Of Depression : "They might as well play the rest of their home games at Shea Stadium". That's pretty freaky, but I guess great (Devils) minds think alike. In all honesty, if they miss the playoffs this would be a bigger choke-job than the Mets and the Sabres combined, the latter of which were never really in the playoff picture at any time this season. And if I see Thomas Glavine warming up in the Devils pre-game skate, I am going to jump off the Pulaski Skyway. (I LLOL at the "have another donut, Marty" line. I think he's bulking up for when Bettman cuts the size of the goalie pads next season. Or he carries the practice pucks in his cheeks.)
A pass by Chris Drury, who assisted on every New York goal, hit the skate of Devils defenseman Sheldon Brookbank and caromed in on Brodeur. He steered the puck into the onrushing Dawes, on the ice after being knocked down by Travis Zajac. Both players barreled into the crease, with Dawes pushing the puck over the line with his shoulder with 3:06 left.
With his freaking shoulder? Ugh. Yeah, this stuff happens in hockey all the time, but why did it have to be in the Strangers' favor? So not only is this Devils team not getting any breaks, they're also playing like bitches (0 for 25 on the PP). What can I do? Instead of watching the Philthy matchup tonight, maybe I'll just sit in a darkened room and listen to my deluxe edition CD of Jeff Buckley Live at Siné as he sings "The Man That Got Away", which crying into my bottle of Westmalle. Whoa, I'm starting to sound like KSK's Emo Eagles.
/smacks self in face
By the way, Avery For Men is the biggest bitch on the ice. I was forced to watch the MSG feed (the only HD broadcast of the game--thanks Dolan, you dick) and the Rangers production crew must be in love with him, because they showed close ups of him the whole fucking night. After every play, he (gets up off his ass and straightens his helmet and) complains about something, dropping an F-bomb at whoever is within earshot. Every time he's cleanly checked, or flops on top of the goalie, runs into the boards of his own volition--it seems he believes that someone else should be blamed for it. Everyone is obviously wrong except him. He's such a douche . . . but I guess it's great if he's on your team.
Boo hoo! Bye bye LEAVES! As the old adage goes: "It must be spring, because the Leafs are out." Or maybe you like "Make like a tree and LEAF!" Either one works for me. I'm going to out on a maple tree limb, but maybe it's time to get rid of selfish assholes like Darcy Tucker and Mats Sundin who sabotaged the system by refusing to waive their no-trade clauses, thus preventing the team from making any improvements. I blame the ownership, whoever that is. I just found out it's a combination of the Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan, CTV, TD Bank and Kilmer Sports. Wait, they're owned by a teachers' pension plan? No wonder they're a mess. As it is, they are the most profitable team in the NHL, so why should any of the owners care if they make the playoffs? Why mess with the status quo?
In his free time between doing nothing running his business and Photoshopping in "blood splatter" to his Sabretooth-beheading-Devil masterpiece, Kris mentioned something about the Sabres winning a game in Canada somewhere wherein Maxim for Men scored a goal as pretty as his flowing blonde hair. If you ask me, that's the ultimate garbage time goal: when your team is out of playoff contention! He'll probably go on a spree, scoring 7 goals in the final 6 games as they finish 4 points out. Whatever. I stand by my assertion that Maxim for Men can go screw.
NBC has another hockey "Game of the Week" at the crack of dawn on Sunday morning, and guess what? The Nothing But Crosby network is featuring the Sidsburgh Crosbys (against some other team)! I actually like The Kid, but the constant drooling over him MUST STOP. How about giving some attentoin to Lucic or Kane? And would it kill you to show a West Coast matchup? (I've only heard rumors that Vancouver has a team, is that true? There's a British Columbia now?) This Peacock Blocking is because they must get the hoc-key out of the way early to show some crappy non-major golf tournament, in a shitty combination of HD and SD, at 2:30 PM. I'm so sick of this crap. I hit a bird on the way into work today, and although I'm not sure what type it was, I really hope it was related to the NBC peacock. (Actually, I probably would have felt that.)
In other Crosbys news, "♪I see my Maryanne skating awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!♪" As Kris stated, Maryanne Hossa might be literally made of glass; ever since the trade deadline he's been fragile, playing in only 8 games. Oh, Ruutu (who last night overshadowed Crosby saving hockey yet again) might be a bigger douche than Avery, but it's close.
I'll leave you with a lovely shot of a hockey player who truly hates pants. Man, that's got to be cold.
* Yay me, I spelled his name correctly without looking. That's when you know you've been reading too much Deadspin. Check out his book Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer. Thanks again for the Deadspin blogroll shoutout, Greg.
Sidney "Sid The Kid" "Bing" Crosby saved hockey once again by singlehandedly beating the Evil Russian Kapitals on national TV on Sunday afternoon. He scored a goal, and using his mind bullets, he even forced Li'l Nikki Backstrom to score one FOR him: the game winner into his own net. This faux pas reminded me of Edmonton's Steve Smith banking one into his own goal off of goalie Grant Fuhr in Game 7 of the 1986 Smythe Division finals vs. the Calgary Flames. Luckily, YouTube has a (predictably shitty quality) clip of it.
What a shitty way to end a playoff series, and the season.
The later game on Sunday, Boston vs. Rangers, was the case against anyone saying a game has to be high scoring to be exciting (like Bettman, who is trying everything in the world to increase scoring and who, consequently, sucks): a 0-0 tie in regulation eventually won by the Rangers in a shootout. The 3rd period was crazily entertaining, and while Auld was solid Henrik was out of his head. Now the Rangers are on fire, winning 10 of their last 13 games. I'm saying this hoping to jinx them going into their game at THE ROCK vs. the Devils next week, who are currently winless on the season against them.
This blog asserts that "New York is a hockey town at last" after good ratings for the Sabres/Rangers game on Monday night. Yes, overall ratings are up 100% in the New York area, but what else was there to watch on a Monday night in early March? Please, once baseball is back or the Rangers go on a mini-slump, the viewership will start to erode. But at least it's a good sign for Versus, even though their broadcasts are still sub-par and the channel doesn't devote a single second to hockey during the regular season, outside of the Monday and Tuesday games.
However, the VS broadcasts look like Spielberg productions when compared to those of NBC Sports. It's one thing to promote the games bright new stars like Crosby and Ovechkin, it's another thing entirely to slobber sycophantically all over them. NBC: you need to get out of sports all together, because you suck at everything. You can keep the Olympics, because I don't give a crap about them unless (it's the winter).
Okay, I'm going to come right out and say it: the Devils are a strong team, as long as Marty has a good night. I know, this is like saying "human beings need oxygen to live". But I really worry about this team, as I don't see them winning the Cup as it stands now. Their power play is just too anemic, and they seem to play down to their competition more than any other team. The Toronto and Tampa Bay wins that they manufactured this past weekend are a microcosm of this season, and how they lack that killer instinct. Yes, I know they've been in first place in the Wales, or right around it, for the past month but I don't know how deep this team can go. After a lackluster effort up in Montreal, this mini-roadtrip at MIN and COL will be telling.
Despite Kris' insistence that the Sabres will make it to the playoffs (and lose in the 1st round), I don't see it. This week is a tough one with 4 games on the docket: they got 1 point vs. NYR, and now have @PIT, CAR, @TOR. By Sunday morning I think we'll know where they stand. As long as they don't go on another 10 game "winless" streak they have a chance.
Meanwhile, out West the Sharks are tearing everyone a new five-hole, recording 10 consecutive victories (2 in a SO). I pick this team to make a run in the playoffs every year, but it never materializes. Until they win the Cup, I don't know the way to San Jose and I don't care. The Ducks, after a rough Niedermeyerfree and Selanneless start, are still the team to beat in my eyes.
In closing, here are some highlights from NHL 94, one of the greatest videogames ever. EVER. (NHLPA 93 might be better, since if you check a guy just right, there will be blood. But there are no one-timers.)
There were so many quirky glitches, and the goalie AI was so stupid (see 1:05 and 1:28), but it just added to its charm. EA has never made hockey as fun as they did with these Sega Genesis era games. I especially love the guy getting beaned by an errant puck after the whistle at 3:14, the 3-car pileup at around 3:20, Pavel Bure being thrown across the ice at 4:08, and the Gretzky breakaway (penalty shot?) at 5:42. (I also enjoyed the video namedropping of former Devil #25 Valeri Zelepukin.)
Here's what you were waiting for: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE SISSY OF NHL NAMES.
Good: Stu Barnes (C, Dallas Stars) Radek Bonk (C, Nashville Predators) (Known to scream after every check: "You just got Bonk'd!") Brent Burns (D, Minnesota Wild) (His middle name is NOT Monty.) Andrew Ference (D, Boston Bruins) (Nickname "Inter". Get it?) Trent Hunter (RW, New York Islanders) (I've visited his brother Milf's website.) Patrick Kane (RW, Chicago Blackhawks) Chad Kilger (C, Toronto Maple Leafs) Georges Laraque (RW, Pittsburgh Penguins )(means "The Rock" in French. Or not.) Colton Orr (RW, New York Rangers) Chris Pronger (D, Anaheim Ducks) Miroslav Satan (RW, New York Islanders) (Pronounced "sha-TAN?" Yeah right.) Ryan Stone (C, Pittsburgh Penguins) Stephane Yelle (C, Calgary Flames) Branko Radivojevic (RW, Minnesota Wild) (Czech for "Bronco Nagurski".)
Bad: Johnny Boychuk (D, Colorado Avalanche) (The less I know about this name, the better.) Dustin Byfuglien (D, Chicago Blackhawks) ("I've been called ugly, fugly, pugly, pug ugly, pug fugly . . . but not Byfuglien.") Jonathan Cheechoo (RW, San Jose Sharks) (That's fun to say. Tee hee!) Jeff Finger (D, Colorado Avalanche) (Hopefully not known to scream after every check: "You just got Finger'd!") Olli Jokinen (C, Florida Panthers) ("What's so funny about me? Is it my name? Does it sound like a clown to you?") David Legwand (C, Nashville Predators) (Insert dick joke here.) Jonathan Quick (G, Los Angeles Kings) (Sent down to minors after a GAA of 3.86 in the NHL. In other words he's Quick, but not quick enough. Sorry. I'll show myself out.) Jarkko Ruutu (RW, Pittsburgh Penguins) (See "Cheechoo".) Alexander Semin (LW, Washington Capitals) (Again, I call bullshit on the pronunciation "SEM-in".) Dan Hinote (C, St. Louis Blues) (I thought I'd end this section on a . . . oh forget it.)
Sissy: Mathieu Dandenault (D, Montreal Canadiens) (Puts the "dandy" in Dandenault.) Roman Hamrlik (D, Montreal Canadiens) (Get that outta yer mouth!) Shane Hnidy (D, Boston Bruins) (Because it sounds like "nightie") Jordin Tootoo (RW, Nashville Predators) Marc-Andre Fleury (G, Pittsburgh Penguins) Guillaume Latendresse, (RW, Montreal Canadiens) (French for "wears women's dresses".)
Poor Ilya. The guy has the most goals in the NHL (currently 36) and he can't even get enough votes to get on the All-Star team. The real kick in the ass is that the game is being played in his hometown of Atlanta, which as everyone knows is the home of fantastic, die-hard hockey fans. Obviously.
Meanwhile, Marty and Henrik (yes, I am on a first name basis with them) will be starting goaltenders for the Eastern Wales Conference All-Stars. I say we make sure DiPietro is the 3rd starter, score a NY Metro Area Goalie Hat Trick (brought to you by HUMMER). VOTE NOW!
UPDATE: DiPietro was selected, but Tomas Vokoun is in there instead of Lundqvist. And voting has ended already. Oops.
Now the Crapitals star player can finally upgrade his famously Eurotrashy wardrobe. WTF? After the DiPietro 15 year itch I didn't think anyone would write up a contract this absurd. Yikes. This might put the Crapitals out of business for good. Rob says he definitely won't play that long for them; I predict that in 8 years he'll be playing for the Islanders under coach Rick DiPietro.
I'm happy for goalie's Ty Conklin's hot streak -- he's done nothing but win out in Pittsburgh. Why am I happy, you ask? Because not only is he an American goalie (from Alaska) whom I saw play for UNH, and I felt surpremely sorry for him after his goaltending gaffe as an Edmonton backup as the evil Carolina Whalers won the Cup a few years back. http://cbs.sportsline.com/nhl/story/10569350/ So with the benching of the incredibly mediocre Fleury, maybe the Pens are on the road to respectability? All I know is that it will set the stage for CROSBY TO SAVE HOCKEY ONCE AGAIN. Now I'm genuinely afraid of them come playoff time.
In his neverending quest for pure assholishness, Derian Hatcher of the Fucking Flyers decided to (leave his feet to) deliver a check to the Maple Leaves' Alexander Steen, but instead crushed his own teammate.
That's right: Joffrey Lupul ended up on the IR with a mild concussion and two bruised cervical vertebrae due to Hatcher's douchebaggery. Way to go, shitbrain! At last, a Flyers cheap shot came back to hurt them in a real, tangable way. Oh, and Hatcher also tried to bite Devils' Travis Zajac, but it was deemed "inconclusive". Total amount of suspension = 0 games. I am seriously sick of this shit.
He just scored the winning goal in a shootout in a whiteout in Buffalo. Had the writers not already been on strike, I would have said that NBC scripted that ending.
(video courtesy of NBC via Cablevision via my HDTV via my camera)
I'm sure Kris thinks I'm just rubbing it in by showing his Sabres lose in a shootout, but that was exciting. Meanwhile, NBC showed that clip of Crosby bouncing the puck on his stick about 1000 times--okay, we get it, HE'S GOOD. And I love Doc Emrick but I turned my receiver's center channel down to -12 dB and smothered it with a pillow for the Whiteout Shootout. Much better.
Despite the lack of scoring and frequent ice maintenance stoppages, it couldn't have worked out better for the NHL. Except for the ratings.
![DETROIT - JUNE 12 - Sidney Crosby #87 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrates with the Stanley Cup after defeating the Detroit Red Wings to win the 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Finals on June 12, 2009 [Jim McIsaac/Getty Images]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgZ4XaR0DTa3xmfUyNw95hXCXtVMypy3DVYAOOandZWsWXF7VNGPWRTM_FkWJWZ-P9FkDbWXeiYIYF0AFhD2mhx6qww3MlIHlWNLipaKaHl4K7sWGeG_KV03CnVDdBxnYRnhbw/s1600-h/DETROIT+-+JUNE+12+-+Sidney+Crosby+%2387+of+the+Pittsburgh+Penguins+celebrates+with+the+Stanley+Cup+after+defeating+the+Detroit+Red+Wings+to+win+the+2009+NHL+Stanley+Cup+Finals+on+June+12,+2009+Jim+McIsaac+Getty+Images.jpg)
What can you say? The Penguins did it, and in dramatic fashion: they forced a Game 7 and won it on the road (first team since the 1971 Canadiens to do that) to claim the Cup. The final was a hard fought, close match-up, with no little controversy or nonsense, and the clinching game was a one goal thriller. That's all you can ask for as a hockey fan.![DETROIT - JUNE 12 - Evgeni Malkin #71 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrates with the Stanley Cup June 12 2009 in Detroit [Bruce Bennett/Getty Images]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkf8TSOuX4C0Sc7vfaIsGX7SkyM-reJrweKeAejWRXXD3xNzfpw3TWQkUxhAG4E2X2GgRAVDVmcTK7LXTfs3CuFvIDD2dqlIRXOGHCdj2alp4YxZDhaEIL1CjSoqy_uhQfMu_m/s1600-h/DETROIT+-+JUNE+12+-+Evgeni+Malkin+%2371+of+the+Pittsburgh+Penguins+celebrates+with+the+Stanley+Cup+June+12+2009+in+Detroit+Bruce+Bennet+Getty+Images.jpg)
![DETROIT - JUNE 12 - Marian Hossa #81 of the Detroit Red Wings skates away as Evgeni Malkin #71, Ruslan Fedotenko #26 and Maxime Talbot #25 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrate Talbot's goal [Bruce Bennett/Getty Images]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9xQIDgzbnt4z8zQBFEJLYNibdAYGjAwN4MCXNCKpLaoksGjuq2mddXvqhci7IizRahT6nxRNo_Cfp5L2mxRLAqMUvUrc77Cxuayp7PUpcIm_Nzxwj4Wcrm4DxiWrduHcCva-/s1600-h/DETROIT+-+JUNE+12+-+Marian+Hossa+%2381+of+the+Detroit+Red+Wings+skates+away+as+Evgeni+Malkin+%2371,+Ruslan+Fedotenko+%2326+and+Maxime+Talbot+%2325+of+the+Pittsburgh+Penguins+celebrate+Talbot%27s+goal+Bruce+Bennett+Getty+Images.jpg)
![DETROIT - JUNE 12 - Backup goaltender Mathieu Garon #32 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrates with fans after winning 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Finals at Joe Louis Arena on June 12, 2009 [Harry How Getty Images]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaqg-mpEFzY041Dlrc0UrCy5kPWtPqHhT47Pd-pOQ84f3biFTJ4ZMAhRILZ3ZM-dGcPp7T3HOBuErZ_5X5MTtjzvyLhNGVynF2uIFJGbeVKqHxF1BjzMbGavvOr9Tug8f7pbV7/s1600-h/DETROIT+-+JUNE+12+-+Backup+goaltender+Mathieu+Garon+%2332+of+the+Pittsburgh+Penguins+celebrates+with+fans+after+winning+2009+NHL+Stanley+Cup+Finals+at+Joe+Louis+Arena+on+June+12,+2009+Harry+How+Getty+Images.jpg)
