CRAPOCOPIA

Tiger Woods. I don't know what else to say about this guy after he won the Buick Open last Sunday by shooting four consecutive rounds of 66 (a nice rut to be in). When he's focused and in the zone, there's no one that can touch him. And when someone like Furyk starts to put up some good numbers down the stretch (he finished with a 63), he reels off 3 birdies to give himself a little room, and doesn't look back. Now he's won 50 PGA tournaments at 30 years and 7 months, faster than anyone else in history. Oh, by the way, the gallery on the 17th hole at Warwick Hills in Grand Blanc, MI is fucking out of control. I understand wanting to shout crap after a guy hits the ball and you've been drinking for 7 straight hours in the hot sun, but this is just plain stupid: one drunken moron threw an apple on the green after Tiger putted. Of course, the main reason people like this are starting to show up at golf events is due to Tiger's popularity. Ugh. Good thing football season is starting up again, now these idiots can go back to throwing stuff at their Detroit Lions.

The paragraph below is the funniest thing ESPN's Bill Simmons has written in about 3 years (he's gone down the toilet along with the rest of the network), AND it's about FIGJAM "People's Champion" Mickelson:

"To spruce up the always-lame PGA Championship, every player has to go caddy-less and carry his own bags for 72 holes. Now that's a major! Like you wouldn't watch just to see who was fading by Day Three, or to see Mickelson fighting off tears and saying things like, "This is a wakeup call, maybe I need to cut down on the carbs" after shooting a 92 and throwing up on the 14th hole."

That's fantastic.

I'm not going to see the new Will Ferrell racing movie because it inexplicably doesn't make fun of NASCAR (as I predicted). What a wasted opportunity. Ferrell's character in the movie is sponsored by Wonder Bread, which isn't so ridiculous when you consider one of their current drivers is sponsored by LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK CAKES. Not so funny now, is it? Eh, I guess NASCAR is a punchline already.

I'd like to give INHD's Beer Nutz show another chance, since they just recently did some pretty good shows in Milwaukee (I can't think of anything better than the "river beer cruise") and Chicago (although I missed most of this one, they did copy me and visit the Map Room). I just have to get better at ignoring the stupid co-hosts, and I'm sure it would be a good show. Of course, I never catch it since it's on opposite Deadwood.

Speaking of, why aren't you watching Deadwood? I crammed the first two seasons in about 2 weeks, and I'm glad I did. The entire show, and the acting, is phenomenal, and there's only 3 episodes left. If you've never watched it or don't have HBO, go rent the Season 1 and 2 DVDs from Netflix. You'll thank me later.

Stephen Baldwin, born-again-Christian and anti-porn advocate, is moving out of Nyack. And no, it's not because he couldn't prevent a adult store from opening on Route 59 (a mile from Romantic Depot, hmmmm); it's because he owes a "crapload of back taxes to the government". Not only had he sworn off strip clubs and porn, he also hates Bono. Here's a link to his overpriced Victorian house (now at $3.2 M, down from $3.4 M). As Dennis Miller would say, "Born again? Well, excuse me for getting it right the FIRST time!" Hey Steve, just go back to being the brother of a pretty good actor.

Don't forget these DVDs are coming out this month: Simpsons Season 8 (August 15), and MST3K Volume 10 (August 29). Keep 'em coming!!!

Little known fact: in case Boston and New York tie for the AL East crown, the winner will be decided by the YES Network's Boston vs. New York Poker Challenge.