SNAKES ON A SUDOKU

That's right, it's Snakes on a Sudoku. And don't be fooled by imitators, this is the OFFICIAL SNAKES ON A PLANE PUZZLE BOOK! And watch out, because there's over 1,500 snakes in the book! Which means, well, absolutely nothing. It's a puzzle book. Ugh. This is probably the most ridiculous movie tie-in I've ever seen, to accompany the most ridiculously overhyped movie ever. Even Samuel L. Jackson would probably say, "That is some fucked up repugnant shit."

Actually, it's not marketing hype, it's internet hype, which is as nebulous and creepy as the Internet itself, and maybe marketers will learn a lesson here (although, probably not). This movie, which by most accounts sucks out loud, only grossed $1 million more ($2.2M if you count Thursday) in its opening weekend than "Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid". (I'll wait a moment to let that sink in.) I can't think of anything more pathetic. The word of mouth (word of mouse?) surrounding this flick was built up by computer geeks who couldn't leave their computers long enough to see the movie, proving that web buzz = bullshit. What's even more pathetic is that B-movie may have made more money, if everyone wasn't already tired of the jokes. But the underlying problem is with the new online MySpace generation: they're all blog and no action. Everyone online talks a big game, but they're all full of shit.