MASSAGING THE SHERIFF

This is fun for a little while, and then it gets tiring. It's the Euphemism Generator! Spank that reload button again and again until you pass out!

Some of the ones I got:

"angering the furniture"
"stretching the squid"
"chastising the Polish wombat"
"pinching the paisley pipe"
"massaging the sheriff"

But I did not massage the deputy! And I'm spent!

I was thinking that a "sports euphemism generator" would be fantastic. Right now, we're limited to the old "running the bases" metaphor (although I like using the term "going from first to third"), but the possibilities here are limitless. For example:

"punting the pigskin"
"choking up on the fungo"
"pounding the peleton"
"getting hammered in the crease"
"squeezing home the Big Papi"

Be sure to leave your favorites in the comment section, if anyone is actually reading this.