IF THE NHL WAS HIGH SCHOOL
I'm on a roll this morning...I actually have a ton of work to do, but I keep running into interesting bullshit stories. So really quick, Hockey Drunk did a run down of all the teams in the league if the league was a high school (and we all know that the NHL is Special Ed...and the biggest retard is the principal):
You can read them all over at Hockey Drunk; they are humorous at the very least.
- Buffalo would be the kid who never can afford to go anywhere or do anything.
- Carolina would be the farmer kid with a mullet.
- Pittsburgh would be the crybaby tattle tail.
- New Jersey would be the really boring kid.
- Montreal would be the kid who wants to trade you his apple for your Subway sandwich.
2 comments:
Those are great. My favorites:
* Detroit would be the foreign exchange student.
* Philadelphia would be the kid who’s always suspended.
* Ottawa would be the kid that breezes through the school year and then blows the final exams.
* Toronto would be the girl with major issues.
* Washington would be the class clown. Entertaining, but ends up going nowhere.
Funny stuff. Though I like how everyone says "New Jersey is boring". I'm guessing those same people would say "Washington is exciting! They have Ovechkin!" If they're so exciting, how come they only have 10 more goals this season? They should have 100 more! Basically, they're exciting when Ovey's on the ice, and the rest of the time they're worse than beer league hockey. Oh, and guess what? The Ducks and the Sharks also have less goals. And if you truly want boring, try sitting through a Minnesota or Vancouver game. Egads.
All I'm saying is come up with a new Devils joke instead of using the same one from 1995. Or at least watch the team play instead of just reading about it on the interwebs and basing your judgment on YouTube highlight videos.
Most are very good, but I do have a problem with "New York Rangers would be the rich kid."
That's just too simple. My submission:
*The New York Rangers would be the rich kid who dresses in Dior and Armani, but ends up spilling milk on themselves by lunchtime.
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