When I saw them for the first time, I really thought they were American...I saw a live acoustic version and the lead singer (her name's Rosemary) played up the twang. The Neil Young harmonica, the steel guitar, the stand-up bass...it tricked me good.
On the studio version, you can catch a couple of words that she doesn't completely manage to hide behind an affected twang (last time I checked grass doesn't have an "h").
Anyway, it doesn't really matter where they're from, I like this song:
It's finally here: 2008 NHL ALL-STAR WEEKEND. From all around the globe people are flocking to the hockey hotbed bone-dry city of Hotlanta to see the NHL's best from East to West--uhm, Wales to Campbell. Aren't you psyched? (Okay, maybe you're not, but at least it's something to watch after the golf is over.)
Despite the fact that Bettman sucks, the NHL did smarten up and put this on during the off-weekend during NFL football's annual Pre-Big Game "Fortnight Of Jackassery". Unfortunately, poster boy Sid the Kid will not be playing due to an ankle injury. Or as the Onion puts it: NHL Out Three To Five Weeks With Sprained Right Poster Boy. (Gotta love the Onion.)
Unfortunately, Martin Brodeur will not be attending for the first time due to family issues (which I assume has something to do with banging his ex-wife's sister spending time with his kids). Actually, I don't blame Marty for not wanting to sit there for target practice while the defensemen watch from afar. But Crosby, Zetterberg, and Luongo all missing takes some of the juice out of the proceedings (even though it's never really much of a game).
But who are we kidding? The Saturday night YoungStars/SuperSkills Competition has become the best part of the whole All-Star shebang. Look at the roster: between Patrick Kane, Milan Lucic, Sam Gagner and Kris Letang, I think the average age is 15. I don't think any of them have even started shaving yet. David "Kelly" Clarkson is probably going to have to sneak out to get liquor for the rest of them, unless Erik Johnson gets a fake ID and changes his name to "McLovin". Since no goalies are listed as playing this game, I guess they'll have to place the goals facedown and shoot at the netting on top. Kicking off the night Jack Johnson will be singing his hit "Slashing, Hooking, Checking", and (hellish Hannah Montana spinoff) The Jonas Brothers will be performing with the Staal Brothers and the Sedin Brothers. And naturally, Usher and Wyclef Jean will be there, because their music is synonymous with hockey. Yeah, sure.
As for the SuperSkills Competition, it's just amazing to see what these guys can do (man, I wish I had Chara's 100.4 MPH slapper). I would also love to see if semi-unretired Scotty Niedermayer can skill skate the fastest, although I don't know if he's even participating. But since I've enjoyed the Skills Competition as it is, they've decided without bothering to ask the fans to make some changes this year, which include:
Fastest Skater: players sprint from goal line to the opposite blue line, instead of a lap around the ice;
A bizarre 45 second Obstacle Course Relay that ends with the goalie attempting to score on the empty net (if only Marty were here . . . );
Breakaway Challenge which includes points awarded for "creativity, execution and ability to score"
Yes, that's right. Bettman, in his ongoing effort to ruin the NHL by turning it into a gimmicky, NBA-like circus, has decided to make this more like that sport's slam dunk contest. They've even got Dominique Wilkins and Tomas Glavine (who decided to play baseball and ruin the Mets instead of play hockey) on the judge's panel. Why not choose an entire panel of former NHL players? Nah, why do that? That would make too much fucking sense, and possibly honor the sport's heritage. BETTMAN SUCKS.
On that note, allow me to jump into the Open Hockey Time Crapsule™ and present the highlights from the 1990 NHL ALL STAR GAME.
Priceless stuff.
This is a great clip of the 1990 NHL Entry Draft, one of the deepest drafts ever: Nolan, Nedved, Primeau, Ricci, Jagr, Sydor, Hatcher (only the Isles pick at #6, Scissons, was a complete bust).
Mullets galore! I also like the fact that it ends with "the rest" of the first round, "Oh yeah, before we go to commercial, the Devils got some kid goalie named Martin Brodeur way down at 20 . . . "
This clip is fantastic: the 1979 Challenge Cup. This took the place of the All-Star Game, and featured 3 games played at MSG which pitted the NHL All-Stars vs. The Evil Russians.
The USSR went on to beat the NHL players 2 games to 1.
And this Flyers clip from 1990 I'm putting up here for no other reason but to laugh at Mike Emrick and Bill "Hands of Cement" Clement from their younger days (1:25).
Dana Jacobson is an ESPN anchor (or so they tell me, I don't watch the channel enough to have seen her) who recently got into a bit of trouble. Allegedly, she got rip-roaring drunk at something called "The Mike & Mike in the Morning Celebrity Roast" (some self-congratulatory piece of shit ESPN function), got up on stage and dropped some F-bombs. She said something to the effect of "Fuck Notre Dame, fuck Touchdown Jesus, fuck Jesus". This apparently "embarrassed" ESPN (as if their horrendous programming isn't doing that job already) and forced them to give her a week's vacation.
(Before anyone gets outraged about these out of context remarks, remember that this is a roast, so there's bound to be some off-color remarks made. And even if she said this to Jesus' face, I believe he would forgive her. So basically, you bunch of overly sensitive PC pussies, get a fucking sense of humor.)
1) She's 36 and single 2) She's a sports fan 3) She's tall (reports have her as being anywhere from 5'9" to 6') 4) She loves Belvedere vodka 5) She hates Notre Dame 6) She can't endure worthless banter surrounding two completely uninteresting sports radio hosts while sober
What's not to like about this woman? I'm trying to find a fault and I really can't, except for her employer (but who am I to talk?). Some internet trolls have declared her "unattractive", but I can only assume they are all capable of dating supermodels when they're not commenting on Deadspin and downloading hentai porn.
What I'm trying to say is . . . Dana, will you marry me?
(Feel free to leave your answer in the comments.)
UPDATE: Baseball Musings found this fantastic picture. How can you beat that?
Game winning kicks like this bring out the punsters. These are the worst I could come up with (which means I'm sure some of these have been used):
IT'S ABOUT TYNES! TYNES IS MONEY! FOURTH TYNES A CHARM! OVER-TYNES WINNER! TYNES TO MAKE THE DONUTS! TYNES ARE THOSE POINTY THINGS ON A FORK!
That will never, ever get old.
Some things I learned this Sunday:
1. Fuck you, Joe Buck, for calling this exciting end to a thrilling game like you were reading the Starbucks coffee menu. It almost sounds like you were disappointed by the outcome. Your father, Jack Buck, was a legendary announcer. You sir, are a twunt. (We should make the use of this word a regular OH blog feature.)
3. The officiating in the NFL is still horrendous. This highlight reel mentions Sam Madison's personal foul call, a mysterious penalty which was somehow missed by all 34 FOX cameras and therefore, as Rob postulated, doesn't exist. Also Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Film: Chris Snee's holding call, which erased a go-ahead 4th quarter Bradshaw TD.
4. Speaking of Bradshaws, Terry was the only broadcaster who actually picked the Giants to win. But then again, he's insane.
6. God, I fucking hate the two week break before the BIG GAME. To avoid litigation, Rob has suggested we call it HYPER-MATCH 101010. That would look great on a T-shirt.
7. I love my dad, but watching a game with him multiplies the agony and frustration by a factor of 100.
8. FOX spent more time promoting Tom Petty's halftime show than the actual game. What are his fans called, PETTYPHILES?
The Urban Dictionary says that this word's been around for a while (since 2000 according to some accounts); all I know is that I just ran into it and I like it.
twunt[twuhnt]noun:
"James Mangold is a fucking twunt."
(It needed to be said)
Hiya Jimmy-boy (assuming your Google Blogs search for your own name hits on this post).
Yes, this is the team that I blognosticated would go 7-9 this year. Instead, this enigmatic squad of ne'er-do-wells proved me wrong and made it to BIG GAME #42. It's bizarre, but they got hot at the right time, and Elisha has gone 3 games in a row without a fumble or INT. After witnessing their past playoff debacles, I figured they'd miss that 36 yard game winning FG attempt, but could never have predicted the Corey Webster INT and the 47 yard winner in OT. Unfathomable.
So the Giants are now 4-0 in NFC Championship Games. In BIG GAME history? Uhm, not undefeated. Still, it's been an interesting ride, one that will probably give me a heart attack before it's over. Now they meet the undefeated wicked good Patriots, and Mr. Bookless said it best: "If there is some way the Giants could beat NE in the [biggest football game of the year] I would walk away from watching professional sports. There would simply be no way to ever top that."
I'd have to agree, I'd definitely kiss the NFL goodbye if that happened. But I'd still watch golf and hockey.
So just allow me to repeat the chant screamed by Giants fans who survived the ice bowl at Lambeau last night: LET'S GO GIANTS!
Holy crap. Nash makes the Phoenix D look silly with a stunning assortment of moves.
AND it was the winning goal with 21.5 seconds left (which more than made up for a high sticking penalty two minutes earlier that created a PP goal to give Columbus the lead). Wow.
We have our first 0% movie of 2008! That's right. Out of 55 reviews, NOBODY has recommended the cinematic turd entitled "One Missed Call".
As you may know, January is the annual dumping ground for bad movies. I should clarify: bad movies come out every week, but these are the ones that Hollywood knows are bad, AND don't think they can make any money on, and that equals fucking horrible. And sweet bastard, the slate of movies coming out this month sure do look atrocious. Someone (not me) should go see all of them and write a book.
Infesting a theater near you in January:
First Sunday. I've never thought Tracy Morgan was funny. Sit through the trailer for this and try to argue otherwise.
Cloverfield. "Blair Witch" meets "Independence Day"--the hybrid no one asked for! Once again, please stop beating up the Statue of Liberty, you Hollywood assholes.
Mad Money. Chick flick alert! I bet Queen Latifah says something "sassy" in this one, am I right? Diane Keaton really needs to stop making movies, period. I wouldn't watch this even if Jim Cramer was yelling at them the whole time.
So I'm looking for a non-DRM online music store. I have iTunes, and it's easy to use and all, but it bugs me that I pay 0.99€ (which is like $1.46) for songs that are stuck in iTunes and on my iPod...I just hate Apple on principle. I don't know, I need to do research about DRM music and what I can do to make this music available elsewhere.
I guess the bigger news here is that I'm looking to go legit. Don't get me wrong, I don't really feel bad about using BT or whatnot, it's just that at a certain point it becomes such a pain in the ass to find one obscure song through p2p, when iTunes (or somewhere else) has the ability to provide this for a small fee right away...Plus I'm an avid capitalist and this type of system helps to prove my ideology that the way forward isn't suing and being a general bitch but innovating and creating demand for new and unique services. As much as I dislike Apple and Steve "Hand" Jobs, it's hard to be a hater on what they've managed to do.
Anyway, the whole point of the post was that I'm looking for an alternative to Apple. I found Sony Connect Europe and click on the Google link and got the following message:
For those of you that can't read the text it says: "We have performed a basic system check and detected that your system is not compatible with the CONNECT service. We recommend to download and install the item below and try again." The download is MS IE...The last way to get me to use your service is to tell me that I have to use the insecure and for-shit Internet Explorer because Firefox is "not compatible." Fuck off Sony. No really, just fuck off.
Putting the "super" in Russian SuperLeague, this is the most ridiculous hockey fight I've ever seen. This took place on January 8, 2008, featuring AK Bars Kazan (in the light jerseys that remind me of the original New Jersey Devils) vs. Traktor Chelyabinsk (dark jerseys):
"With the score 7-5 and Traktor Chelyabinsk on a 5-on-3 power play they took out the goalie, so it was 6-on-3. They scored the goal to apparently make it 7-6, but the puck was knocked out of the goalie's glove after he made the save. Ak Bars players did not seem to appreciate it and one of them punched the celebrating player. Then all hell broke loose."
There were 378 PIM assessed during this fracas, and I'm pretty sure every player from both teams were involved. I love the ref at 0:22 trying unsuccessfully to stop the tidal wave of players coming off the bench to join in. At around 1:40 you think it's over, but it's not; one of the Chelyabinsk players throws an AK Bars jersey into the stands, which causes #30 (allegedly, Aleksandr Stepanov) to go apeshit and start the second wave of fighting (replayed here at 3:46).
The Philadelphia Flyers are currently in negotiations with Stepanov, they like the cut of his jib.
Yes, the NFL still blows and that was a painful game to endure, with horrible officiating and approximately 65 penalties. But Elisha and the Giants held on to beat the Cowgirls, 21-17, and holy crap was that satisfying to watch. They will now meet the Packers at the Frozen Tundra next Sunday. The forecast? "Mostly sunny and cold, with a high near 7." That's Fahrenheit, and that's fucking cold. Anyway, I'm rooting for snow, since it was fun watching that Pack/Seahawks game in whiteout conditions.
Meanwhile, Peyton will be going home, as the Chargers beat the Colts for the rights to be bitchslapped by the Patriots in the AFC title game. Basically, all the Giants needed was for me to pick against them; I went an incredible 1-3 on my weekend blognostications, and that means I'm done for the season. I'm just going to (try to) enjoy the game next week. (I still think they're going to lose.)
GO GIANTS!
UPDATE (11:01 PM): I just saw a clip of TO crying during the postgame press conference, right after a shot of a somehow even paler Jerry Jones looking like he was ready to collapse directly into a coffin. God, I could not be happier right now.
Everyone says this is "the most exciting weekend in the NFL season". However, I beg to differ, and say that maybe 1 of the 4 games this weekend will even be remotely watchable. In other words, lower your expectations.
Here are my blognostications in a nutshell:
* The Packers stink, and somehow will lose to the Seahawks. Yeah, I know, I've been saying that Green Bay is good all year, but they really aren't.
* The Giants will lose in Big D in some bizarre fashion, and we will have to see 45 pictures of Romo and Jessica Simpson in the process. But not to worry: Fucking Coach Coughlin will get a 3 year extension.
* The Colts will beat the Chargers in the most boring game ever, featuring an NFL record number of false start penalties.
* The Pats will romp the Jags, giving birth to even more arrogant Massholes.
There you have it. The NFL. Meh.
But this is the crux of my posting: I saw a "Quest For Lombardi" commercial the other day, referencing the trophy named after the legendary coach that's awarded to the Super Big Game winner. However, they had the nerve to put Terrell Owens in this commercial. He is the polar opposite of everything Lombardi believed in. He could care less about teamwork, respect, dedication to the sport, and winning. TO is all about TO, and he couldn't give two shits about his teammates, his coaches, the fans, the media, or anyone that isn't named "Terrell Owens".
The whole "I might not play because I'm so badly injured" drama preceding the Giants game basically serves two purposes: 1) to give him an excuse if he has a shitty game, and 2) to get the media to lavish attention on him. It's pathetic what this league, and the sports media, has become. To put it bluntly, the league is shitting all over its own tradition by saying "TO" and "Lombardi" in the same breath. The NFL should be ashamed of itself, and its billions of dollars.
This may not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me or reads this blog, but golf is really the only pure sport that's left. Last night I came to the realization that it is the only sport that is universally appreciated. The NFL is only big in the States, soccer is big everywhere but the US, hockey is only really popular in North America, baseball is not followed at all in Europe, F1 racing isn't as big as NASCAR in the States--you get the picture. In addition, there are no contracts, no incentive clauses, trades, free agency, or superagents. When you leave the golf course at the end of a tournament, you are paid exactly what you deserve according to how you performed on the golf course. Period.
So as always, I'm just going to be watching more golf. Less than 90 days until the Masters!
Here's what you were waiting for: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE SISSY OF NHL NAMES.
Good: Stu Barnes (C, Dallas Stars) Radek Bonk (C, Nashville Predators) (Known to scream after every check: "You just got Bonk'd!") Brent Burns (D, Minnesota Wild) (His middle name is NOT Monty.) Andrew Ference (D, Boston Bruins) (Nickname "Inter". Get it?) Trent Hunter (RW, New York Islanders) (I've visited his brother Milf's website.) Patrick Kane (RW, Chicago Blackhawks) Chad Kilger (C, Toronto Maple Leafs) Georges Laraque (RW, Pittsburgh Penguins )(means "The Rock" in French. Or not.) Colton Orr (RW, New York Rangers) Chris Pronger (D, Anaheim Ducks) Miroslav Satan (RW, New York Islanders) (Pronounced "sha-TAN?" Yeah right.) Ryan Stone (C, Pittsburgh Penguins) Stephane Yelle (C, Calgary Flames) Branko Radivojevic (RW, Minnesota Wild) (Czech for "Bronco Nagurski".)
Bad: Johnny Boychuk (D, Colorado Avalanche) (The less I know about this name, the better.) Dustin Byfuglien (D, Chicago Blackhawks) ("I've been called ugly, fugly, pugly, pug ugly, pug fugly . . . but not Byfuglien.") Jonathan Cheechoo (RW, San Jose Sharks) (That's fun to say. Tee hee!) Jeff Finger (D, Colorado Avalanche) (Hopefully not known to scream after every check: "You just got Finger'd!") Olli Jokinen (C, Florida Panthers) ("What's so funny about me? Is it my name? Does it sound like a clown to you?") David Legwand (C, Nashville Predators) (Insert dick joke here.) Jonathan Quick (G, Los Angeles Kings) (Sent down to minors after a GAA of 3.86 in the NHL. In other words he's Quick, but not quick enough. Sorry. I'll show myself out.) Jarkko Ruutu (RW, Pittsburgh Penguins) (See "Cheechoo".) Alexander Semin (LW, Washington Capitals) (Again, I call bullshit on the pronunciation "SEM-in".) Dan Hinote (C, St. Louis Blues) (I thought I'd end this section on a . . . oh forget it.)
Sissy: Mathieu Dandenault (D, Montreal Canadiens) (Puts the "dandy" in Dandenault.) Roman Hamrlik (D, Montreal Canadiens) (Get that outta yer mouth!) Shane Hnidy (D, Boston Bruins) (Because it sounds like "nightie") Jordin Tootoo (RW, Nashville Predators) Marc-Andre Fleury (G, Pittsburgh Penguins) Guillaume Latendresse, (RW, Montreal Canadiens) (French for "wears women's dresses".)
Poor Ilya. The guy has the most goals in the NHL (currently 36) and he can't even get enough votes to get on the All-Star team. The real kick in the ass is that the game is being played in his hometown of Atlanta, which as everyone knows is the home of fantastic, die-hard hockey fans. Obviously.
Meanwhile, Marty and Henrik (yes, I am on a first name basis with them) will be starting goaltenders for the Eastern Wales Conference All-Stars. I say we make sure DiPietro is the 3rd starter, score a NY Metro Area Goalie Hat Trick (brought to you by HUMMER). VOTE NOW!
UPDATE: DiPietro was selected, but Tomas Vokoun is in there instead of Lundqvist. And voting has ended already. Oops.
Now the Crapitals star player can finally upgrade his famously Eurotrashy wardrobe. WTF? After the DiPietro 15 year itch I didn't think anyone would write up a contract this absurd. Yikes. This might put the Crapitals out of business for good. Rob says he definitely won't play that long for them; I predict that in 8 years he'll be playing for the Islanders under coach Rick DiPietro.
I'm happy for goalie's Ty Conklin's hot streak -- he's done nothing but win out in Pittsburgh. Why am I happy, you ask? Because not only is he an American goalie (from Alaska) whom I saw play for UNH, and I felt surpremely sorry for him after his goaltending gaffe as an Edmonton backup as the evil Carolina Whalers won the Cup a few years back. http://cbs.sportsline.com/nhl/story/10569350/ So with the benching of the incredibly mediocre Fleury, maybe the Pens are on the road to respectability? All I know is that it will set the stage for CROSBY TO SAVE HOCKEY ONCE AGAIN. Now I'm genuinely afraid of them come playoff time.
In his neverending quest for pure assholishness, Derian Hatcher of the Fucking Flyers decided to (leave his feet to) deliver a check to the Maple Leaves' Alexander Steen, but instead crushed his own teammate.
That's right: Joffrey Lupul ended up on the IR with a mild concussion and two bruised cervical vertebrae due to Hatcher's douchebaggery. Way to go, shitbrain! At last, a Flyers cheap shot came back to hurt them in a real, tangable way. Oh, and Hatcher also tried to bite Devils' Travis Zajac, but it was deemed "inconclusive". Total amount of suspension = 0 games. I am seriously sick of this shit.
They've been bugging me for a the last week to update to the "NEW" Version 2.3.1. I thought that maybe some of my instability issues experienced earlier this week would be resolved with an update. That remains to be seen, but for an update that "is a minor bug fix release with no new features for users" it was a 80mb download.
And the icing on the cake (which I ran into the last update, but subsequently forgot about), they delete all your dictionaries when you update. And installing dictionaries is somewhere between nuclear physics and time travel on the standardized scale of difficulty.
FUCK OPEN OFFICE. It's almost (onlyalmost) enough to make one think of how good Microsoft can be.
I watched No Country for Old Men last night. I'll try to avoid spoiling the movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet, and plan to, but you may want to avoid the whole post if you don't want to know anything about it.
First the good: *Javier Bardem gave the best performance I've seen in a long long time. I haven't seen anything else that he was in (to my knowledge), but he was so good in this movie. He should win the Oscar for best supporting actor (even though it was basically a lead actor part, but whatever) *Visually this movie is stunning. The shots of Texas desert are just beautiful. *I like movies that are deep, dark and cold without the happy "the bad guys are dead, the good guys ride into the sunset with the pretty girl" endings. More than one reviewer called this movie nihilistic.
And the not so good: I'm going to call this the "Knocked Up syndrome" from here on in - the movie doesn't live up to its own hype. If it's got a Rotten Tomatoes rating of over 90% (and it's not some French art house clusterfuck), I expect the movie to knock me off my feet. Silly me.
(This is probably where you should stop reading if you don't want to know too much about the movie) The problem with this movie is that it is too movie-ish for me. Let's see if I can describe what I mean; I guess I got the feeling too much that the Coens were just writing a movie to get reviews of being "black" and "nihilistic" and "gritty." It's just a movie pretending to be these things and at no point during this thing did I manage to get myself "into" the movie. With all the plot-twists and main characters dying, I just came to expect it by the end, because that was the type of movie that this was. I understand that the Coens stuck close to the book, which I have not read, but this is my big criticism-It's a hackneyed version of a true film noir. Or maybe I'm just so cynical, that I watch movies like this with saying "it didn't make me feel anything." Realism doesn't exist in movies for me because they are the epitome of fake (except for Al Gore or Michael Moore productions - that is real, people).
One of the main characters died at a certain point and I think this was the turning point of the movie. It was overly downplayed to the point where you ask if said character really had any bearing on the movie at all (which he did - for 3/4 of the movie). It was at that point that I truly felt the manipulative powers of the Coen Bros coming through.
The ending wasn't anything spectacular. I won't go into details, but I had read more than one critique about the "excellent, plot twisting ending." Did these people see the same movie as me? It offered no surprises to me.
And one more thing...Does anyone know if they purposefully use fake-looking dogs for scenes where the animals are dead and/or dying? Do they do this so as not to offend the audience? We can make life-like blood, and show someone stitching himself up from a gunshot wound, but heaven-forbid we make it look like a real dog died...
Ugh. Anyway, it was a fine movie, but not as good as I thought it would be.
I've got a ton of shite that I've wanted to blog about for the last week and a half or so, but with the whole getting back to France, struggling with jetlag and getting back into the work thing, I've not really had time.
Anyway, I watched S5E1 of the Wire last night and I'm just happy to see that McNulty's back to his drunk and stumbling, womanizing ways...he's far more enjoyable like this than the stand-up guy that he was last season. I won't go into any depth because I know that Kammann's not watched it yet, but I will say this: FUCK SLATE FOR RUINING EVERYTHING GOOD THAT EVER HAPPENS ON TV. They did this same thing for the final season of the Sopranos; they are these talking heads who think that critiquing pop culture makes them even more smarter. I don't fucking care if you think that the Wire is more Shakespearian or Dickensian. I'm done with Slate; I swear I'm going to remove it from my RSS reader...tomorrow.
SCREW THE SABRES. I had the opportunity to watch 4 games in the last three weeks. They won one, lost two in the shootout and lost one by 3 goals. I honestly can't complain about the loss in Jersey, cause we were there and I said that if it went to a shootout I wouldn't bitch; I lied, but I was happy to see a shootout. On New Year's Day the game was so fucking awesome that it's not really that big of a deal that they lost. I'd have liked to see them win, but watching Sid-the-Kid save hockey and then scream like a school girl was pretty funny. You know he loves hockey, and that's great to see. Lindy was smiling while he was losing...That you never see. I caught the 3rd period of the Sabres shit performance in Atlanta on Sunday...Come on 5 to 2. What the fuck.
Jeff talked about this beer, but Blue Point Oatmeal Stout Cask was my personal beer of the year. It was the first cask beer that I'd had and it was just brilliant. Three Philosophers was probably second. Let's hear it for NYS beermakers. I had these on two consecutive days between Christmas and New Years. Plus we ate at Hudson House...Those few days made up for the rest of the crappy year.
T.I.H.™ OPEN FUCKING OFFICE 2.3. Sun Microsystems can suck my balls for providing a free program that is such a pain in my ass. Ok I don't hate it enough to pony up $400 for Microsoft Office, but I've been fighting with Oo2.3 since yesterday morning and it's starting to grind on me. Part of it may be my fault, because of my inexperience with FauXcel, I keep making mistakes that have little-to-nothing to do with Oo2.3, but still, the eggheads who program should have thought that someone, like me, may try to paste entire sheets into one cell and planned for this. But they didn't, so it crashes and I have restart at my last save point (I just did it for the third time in the last 30 minutes: I suck).
CAN SOMEONE WAKE ME UP WHEN IT'S TIME TO VOTE FOR RALPH WIGGUM? I'm so fucking sick of the primaries and they just started. Ok, we understand, it's going to be either Hillary or Obama...or someone else and McCain or Huckabee...or someone else. One state does not make a trend, and it's irrelevant anyway. Do people actually think that anyone is going to make a difference? It's all about cash.
Who determines the size tires on your car? I just bought tires for mine. I've got 175/65/R13 80T's. If they were 175/70's I would pay about 15 euros less per tire, but because there's a 5% difference in the tire's profile, I have to pay more. I'm convinced that VW does everything in its power to make your life a living hell if you don't buy your parts from them. It took me an hour to change the back wiper on that fucking car because VW has some propriety rear wiper system...Turns out that propriety means nothing to a man with a hammer, pliers, a razor blade and some bolts. Fuck VAG. I think I'm going to put dubs on my VW Polo...20 inchers bitch. My 55hp (I'm not kidding) should handle that perfectly well!
Check that...FUCK Oo2.3 IN THE PANTS. It just crashed for no fucking reason whatsoever. FUCK FUCK FUCK! They have this asshole "recovery" thing that just "recovers" your document to the last time you saved it. Goddamn fucking cocks...they must work with Gary ("I SUCK") Bettman. I know that it's "free", but damn it, it's as fucking unstable Lindsay Lohan on ice skates.
This cunt program has crashed 4 times on me this morning...I have honestly lost at least 2 hours of work. Dickheads. Fuck them.
10. Capital One Bowl Week can turn out to be a dud. Compared to last year, there was not one compelling bowl game all week. I'm glad I paid attention to the regular season, because that's when all the great games happened.
9. A hot toddy made with Woodford Reserve bourbon, lemon, honey and cloves KICKS ASS. That's how I rang in 2008.
8. Rob says this might be the funniest line of the year, and I might have to agree with him (from The Onion's hilarious Our Dumb World Atlas):
MALAWI: Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died.
7. While it's a very funny show, "The Larry Sanders Show" is no "Honeymooners". I watched episodes of both shows on New Years Day, and let's just say that Garry Shandling's Other Show, while funny, hasn't aged all that well. Plus, the washed-out DVD transfer (from 2002) makes it look even older than it actually is.
6. For some reason, I can't learn the lyrics to most late 60s/early 70s classic rock songs that grew up listening to as a kid. If I didn't know the words then, I don't know them now. Even if I look them up online, they just don't stick. I guess if you've heard "Brown Sugar" 500 times without knowing what the hell Mick Jagger is saying, you can't expect to figure it out after reading the lyric sheet once.
5. I'm surprisingly good at "Dance Dance Revolution". No, really. Especially when songs like a-ha's "Take On Me" and Chic's "Le Freak" come on, I'm unstoppable.
4. Screw the New Jersey Devils for putting such a beautiful hockey arena in Newark. Additionally, screw the PATH train for being so useless: it took two trains and 45 minutes to get from New York to Newark. After unleashing a litany of expletives during this frustrating detour (which I could blame on my drunkness, or the fact that I had just contracted an upper respiratory infection), I later realized that I would make a lousy competitor on "The Amazing Race".
3. The typical NFL game blows, especially when compared to any Madden NFL '08 game. Seriously, the PS2 version is fantastic, and can only imagine what the "next gen" ones are like. In fact, it's so realistic, Giants QB Elisha threw 3 INTs before finally settling down and throwing two TDs before getting injured, in a poorly played 14-6 win over the Redskins. Eerie.
2. I respect the guy for keeping at it, but Dick Clark needs to retire. It's just sad to hear him struggle through a simple sentence, and this time around he actually said "HAPPY DEW YEAR". I also officially think the "rockin' eve" concept is officially dead when all you have is Fergie, Carrie Underwood, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers, whoever the hell they are.
1. Not a new revelation, but Ginger Man is the best beer bar in NYC. I already suspected this, but I had to visit a second time to make sure. Blue Point Oatmeal Stout from the cask was fantastic.
After "O Canada", Irish tenor Ronan Tynan sang "God Bless America" and thanked "our troops fighting in Afghanistan". Uhm, the troops from which country? Canada? Ireland? I'm pretty sure there are also still US troops in Iraq, so I guess we're not talking about them. Strange. Then the game started without the playing of the National Anthem. I guess was right about the fact that Buffalo has been annexed by Canada. (Funny how I thought "Chicago" when they said the "Blackhawks" are flying over.)
I was really impressed by the 71,217 hockey fans in Western NY/PA that showed up for this game. This will help prove that the NHL is a viable sport, or at least still alive and well, at least in strong hockey cities like Buffalo. I even believe that ESPN was a little jealous, as they didn't show any highlights for the first 21 minutes of Sportscenter despite a lack of any compelling sports news or bowl games. (Oh never mind, that's what they always do.)
Since NBC didn't have a bowl game it was their choice (not the NHL's) to hold this event on New Year's Day during a time when 4 bowl games were taking place. However, the ratings were much better than expected: a 2.6/5 (to compare, Game 5 of the 2007 Stanley Cup Finals drew a 2.1), the highest regular season hockey ratings since FOX's Glowpuck days in 1996. Those aren't killer numbers, considering it's a day when pretty much everyone is off from work (except those forced to clean up all the buffalo wing chicken bones at the Ralph), but it's a stride in the right direction.
The frequent ice maintenance stoppages were a bit of a buzzkill. Apparently, the best technology we have to combat this is . . . one guy with a water bottle and a CO2 canister. I did predict there would be emergency Zamboni runs, but I didn't think that one of them would break because of the amount of snow it had to pick up. During these many breaks the NBC announcing team chose to chat about: how amazing Sidney Crosby is, the various methods used to repair the ice, the weather radar, Darren Pang's choice of headgear, and how fantastic Sidney Crosby is. This was a missed opportunity by NBC, who could have instead showed any of the following:
* Highlights from the 2007 season * More awkward on-ice interviews with the players * More clips from "Slap Shot" * Those 2 minute webisodes of "The Office" that are impossible to watch online * More shots of the kids playing pond hockey * The Buffalo Jills cheerleaders! * Beef on weck eating contests * Hal Gurnee's Network Time Killers * Reruns of classic "CHiPs" episodes * "Costas Score-O", in which spectators throw Bob Costas into the hockey net
The most glaring omission: they didn't interview ONE SPECTATOR during the game. Of all the talk of how "electric" the atmosphere was, why not get a live account of it? They had over seventy-one thousand people to choose from! Just more evidence that NBC couldn't give a flying crap about hockey fans, or sports fans in general. I was also seriously hoping NBC's follow-up "Magic Of Seal On Ice" was going to be held outdoors after the hockey game, but it was not to be.
Thanks to the magic of HDTV, I was able to determine that Bob Costas uses the Just For Men hair color "Medium Dark Brown". He looked shiny and red like a chipmunk, and his boss, Dick Ebersol, especially liked the way he left a touch of gray on the sides. I somehow knew he'd comment about his hockey announcing experience with the 1973 Syracuse Blazers at age 21 (Kris was close when he guessed 17), but I didn't think they'd parlay that into an entire "Slap Shot" Oglithorpe/Goldthorpe fluff piece.
Where is hell is Bill Clement "Clement Hands of Cement"? They had him on NHL.tv doing a pregame with Sam Rosen, but that was it. He should have been working the intermissions instead of Mike Milbury, who is a blithering idiot.
While a New York version of this (The Frozen Apple Classic, name to be trademarked by me) would be pretty cool, especially at Yankee Stadium in early 2009 before it's demolished, the weather in the city might be a problem--it was warm enough to play golf the first weekend of January 2007 (though I don't remember any such weather in February). Therefore, the odds would be better for an outdoor game in Canada (even Quebec City!), Chicago, Colorado, Michigan or Massachusetts. Imagine over 107,000 in Michigan Stadium watching the Red Wings play the Blackhawks (which means there will be about 90,000 shitty seats)? How about an All-Star Game, Europe vs. North America, in Siberia? (Okay, maybe I went a step too far there.)
While this was a fun event to watch, and the snow fell almost on cue giving the whole thing an almost magical look, I don't think they should (or can) do this every year. Maybe it could pop up once every 2 years or so to make it more "special"; otherwise the novelty will wear off pretty quickly like it did with interleague baseball.
Despite all these mostly positive notes regarding the game, Bettman sucks.
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