AMAZING RACE, HOW SWEET THE ASS

The ninth season of CBS' Amazing Race is underway, and if you haven't watched yet, I'll give you at least one reason. Actually, Kris pointed this out and I was thinking it myself: Desiree (of Team Wanda & Desiree) is a dead ringer for Natalie Portman. And by that, I mean to say she's pretty HOT (even if she's not in HD). I also think he said he'd nail her 40 year old mom too.



If that's not enough, go read host Phil Keogan's Amazing blog, where you can learn astonishing things about the Amazing Race. For instance:

"I’ve had a good breakfast. Always a good way to start any Race. For some reason a good breakfast burrito seems to work best."

Outstanding! He also said he loves "checking out the backpacks", if you know what I mean (wink wink). He stared at Lake & Michelle's "luggage" and liked what he saw, saying their "bags" were "the most condensed, very tidy looking" (nudge nudge). Oh wait, I think Lake is a guy. Never mind.

AMAZING!!!

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Speaking of amazing, it's less than a month before the baseball season, and the Amazin' Mets' "Sports Net New York" network is nowhere to be found; there's been no advertising of any sort, it doesn't show up in a Google search, and there's no definitive statement if any cable/satellite provider is even carrying it. I think the Mets new slogan should be "Hard To Believe Fans Show Up At Shea!" Meanwhile, YES Network is showing daily preseason content, including spring training games (even repeating them TWICE!!!) and a new show called "Yankees Batting Practice Today". Wow, that sounds fantastic. Be sure not to miss FUNGO FRIDAYS!

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They have a theme for "The Simpsons" on FOX this week: rock star episodes! They are as follows:

Flaming Moe (Aerosmith)
E-I-E-I-Annoyed Grunt (?)
Barting Over (Blink 182)
The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer (Johnny Cash)
How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (Elvis Costello, Mick Jagger, Lenny Kravitz, Tom Petty, Keith Richards and Brian Setzer)
Pranksta Rap (featuring 50 Cent!)

So no "Homerpalooza", R.E.M., Spinal Tap or Red Hot Chili Peppers? And how about "Tale of Two Springfields", with our ample parking and our daily Who concerts? Eh, I guess I could go on for days--at least there's no Kid Rock. Johnny Cash, as the Coyote, is a bit of a stretch, but it's a classic episode in which Homer hallucinates after eating a Guatamalan Insanity Pepper, and wonders if Marge is his soulmate. Wait--what rock band is in the "tomacco" episode?

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Tiger Woods won the Ford Prefect Doral Championship this weekend in relatively easy fashion, only needing bogeys on the final two holes to seal the deal. He was paired with Phil "FIGJAM" Mickelson on Saturday, and Lefty quickly plummeted off the leader board, finishing off the day shanking a ball into the "blue monster" on the 18th. On the final day, David Toms unleashed a horrible putt one group in front of Tiger on the 18th, and he'd eventually 3-putt to put him out of contention.

Camilo Villegas, a 24 old kid from Colombia, made a splash finishing tied for 2nd while wearing a snazzy (read: hideous) white outfit with orange shoes and belt, and was a big hit with the Latino and gay communities in Miami. This made me realize that it must be nice to be from a Latin country, because almost this entire Western Hemisphere (except for Canada and a a few sections of the USA) are a built-in fan base. Americans, on the other hand, only have other Americans rooting for them. And half of them don't like Tiger. I'm guessing this is out of jealousy, or maybe it's that his intensity drains the fun out of golf for most people (either/or). As for the rest of the field, I think they're once again afraid of him. Can't wait for the Masters, which is thankfully NOT on Easter Sunday this year, so I can watch it (IN HD!), and not listen to updates while driving home from Maine.

(Sidenote: Phil Mickelson is growing his hair long, because he said his wife likes it. What a sissy. Meanwhile, Tiger is KICKING EVERYONE'S ASS ON THE GOLF COURSE. Makes you think.)